Dung Taylor: 'I've always hoped Thu Phuong's child from a previous relationship would be close to their biological father'

The singer's husband shared about the pressure of raising and caring for a family that includes both his wife's children from a previous relationship and his own.

- AWhat kind of pressure do he and his wife, singer Thu Phuong, face in their family life with four children?

ButMy happiness lies in my children. They are my priceless and lifelong treasure, something that can never be changed, but they also bring a lot of pressure. Ideally, each family in America should have two children. We have twice as many, which means double the pressure.

In American society, parents' responsibilities extend beyond providing for their children; they must also be a source of emotional support and guidance. Children are educated from a young age to be independent and to protect their own rights. Therefore, parents must always set a good example and stay updated on their children's living and environmental experiences at each stage of their lives. Thus,Even financially capable parents in the US are still required to be directly involved in their children's education and upbringing; they cannot hire help. This is a significant burden.

Dũng Taylor with his wife, singer Thu Phương, and their son Duy Hải, and daughter Thanh Thảo.

ButWith his wife's two children from a previous relationship, how can he avoid being labeled a stepfather?

ButIn raising the children, I feel more pressure than Thu Phuong because the two older children are Phuong's children from a previous relationship. Adding to that, the presence of their biological father – who is now a neighbor of our family – makes every word and action I say even more delicate and sensitive.

Before living with Phuong and her two children, I had never been married and had no children of my own. My thinking was very simple: if I loved and educated them as if they were my own, everything would be fine. During the first two years of living together, I learned a lot, especially when...Phuong's parents came to America to live with us.I grew up absorbing American culture from the age of 13, and being from the South, it was inevitable that there would be cultural differences; even though we spoke the same language, we still couldn't fully understand each other.Since then, I have adjusted my behavior to be more considerate and tactful. I am conscious of every word I say and how I act when my children make mistakes.Not speaking up might be misinterpreted as not caring. Being too assertive might be perceived as difficult. I always make sure to speak up with the right intensity, at the right time, and using the right words, otherwise the whole family will be upset.

As for my two children and Phuong, I'm stricter and more assertive whenever they misbehave. I always discipline all four children fairly to avoid comparisons. The four of them are like one. Phuong and I are very reassured to see that the children love and are close to each other like siblings from the same mother and father.

- How would you react to the affection your wife's two children from a previous marriage have for their biological father?

- For the first three years after I met Phuong, Huy (singer HuyMC) didn't talk to me. I knew Huy was under pressure in life, so I created opportunities for him to play with my band at performances. I think one thing can't be changed - Huy is the biological father, the flesh and blood of Phuong's two children. For their happiness and future, Huy, Phuong, and I need to have a good relationship. From then on, every time I received information about the two older children while they were still in Vietnam, I would update Huy.

I vividly remember the night I called Huy to tell him that his two older children had been granted visas to the US and that I would be returning to Vietnam to pick them up. Over the phone, I could sense Huy's tears of happiness. From that moment on, I officially became the second father to Duy Hai and Thanh Thao.

When I decided to buy a house to bring my two children from Vietnam to the US, I bought one near where Huy and his wife lived to make it easier for father and children to see each other and live together. Many friends asked why Dung didn't move to Silicon Valley in San Francisco, firstly to help my software engineering job and secondly to avoid Huy. I smiled and replied, "Love requires sacrifice and acceptance – even if it means a little hardship – to be worthy of what you will receive later."

- What is your relationship with your wife's ex-husband like now?

ButSince the two children came to live with me and Phuong in the US, Huy often comes to pick them up to go out for meals and movies. We treat each other like neighbors, nothing more. When decisions require everyone's input, we meet to discuss them and avoid disagreements. Huy and Phuong trust me completely, so they entrust me with the education and guidance of their children. This is a great responsibility and also a source of encouragement for me.

Thanh Thảo (left) - the daughter of Huy MC and Thu Phương - considers Dũng Taylor as her second father. She has been close to her father Dũng since she was eight years old, when she first came to America, until now, at the age of 16.

- What are your views on raising children??

- My eldest son, Duy Hai, is strong-willed and independent like his mother, Phuong, so he has his own thoughts and direction. Phuong and I only advise and guide him when he seeks our advice. Thanh Thao came to the US at the age of 8, a time of innocence and ease in adapting to a new life. From a young age, Thanh Thao and I have shared a deep connection through our words and glances, so I invest the most time in her. She always comes to me whenever she has problems related to friends, school, or material needs. I usually explain in detail to help my children understand the difference between "needs" and "wants" in life, and then I trust them enough to let them make the decisions.I also directly create Thanh Thảo's timetable for each school year. Thanks to that, I'm always aware of her academic progress. From fifth grade until now, Thảo has consistently been an excellent student, receiving commendations from the school. I remember that when she graduated from middle school, she even received a commendation from President Obama for outstanding students nationwide.

The two younger children – Barry, seven, and Hailey, four – are simpler. They are at their most adorable age, always wanting to be with their parents and not demanding anything. Every morning, either I or Phuong prepare breakfast for them, take them to school, and then bury ourselves in work. In the afternoon, we pick them up and take them to extracurricular classes or talent classes like martial arts, drawing, music, etc. Every day I check Barry's homework. Either I or Thanh Thao helps him with his homework each day.

Thu Phuong and Dung Taylor with their two children, seven-year-old Barry and six-year-old Hailey (right).

ButWhy do you favor your daughter over your son when raising your children?

- I grew up with my mother and lacked a father's affection, so I've always shared more with women, and that's why I favor my daughter more. I feel that women, even in a civilized society like America, face more pressure. Because of the need for equality, women in America still have to earn money while simultaneously playing the roles of wife, mother, and homemaker. That's already too much pressure. That's why I dedicate more time to educating my daughter. As for my son, there are many things that don't need to be said; it's enough for him to understand and learn from his father's way of life.

I see children as blank sheets of paper; whatever adults draw on them will become the map of their lives. Adults should love children with genuine affection, so that when they are intelligent enough, they will recognize it and use it as a guide for life. The greatest gift parents can give their children is not material possessions, but knowledge, thinking skills, culture, morality, and social skills. I want that when my children are asked about their father, Dung, they will say: "Dad was very strict, not as indulgent as Mom, but he was very fair, caring, and loving." If that happens, then my duty and responsibility will be fulfilled, and I will be content.

Besides taking care of the children, he also expresses his love for his wife on his personal page, which makes her...Many people praise men as being as good as you are these days. How do you feel about receiving such praise?

- I feel I've received so much from Thu Phuong that what I do for her and our children is normal and understandable. Phuong had already been married for almost 14 years and had two children from that marriage when she came to me. A woman like that wouldn't have the need to have more children, especially when her career is flourishing. But Phuong's love for me was strong enough to have not just one, but two children for me. I'm happy and lucky to have my first son at the age of 40, and now I have both a son and a daughter. The greatest asset in life is one's children. So why should I hesitate to "give my all" and live life to the fullest for my wife and children?

According to VNE