Dung Taylor: 'I always hope Thu Phuong's stepchild can be close to his biological father'

The singer's husband shared about the pressure of raising and taking care of a family with both his wife's and his own children.

- AWhat pressures do you and your wife - singer Thu Phuong - face in family life with four children?

-My happiness is my children. They are priceless and lifelong assets, irreplaceable, but also bring a lot of pressure. Every family in America has two children, which is ideal. We have double, which means double the pressure.

The responsibility of parents in American society is not only to provide for their children but also to be their spiritual support and guide them. Children are educated from a young age to think independently and always protect their own interests. Therefore, parents must always set an example and update their children's living environment at each stage. Therefore,Parents with the ability and conditions in America still have to directly participate in the education and upbringing of their children, they cannot hire people. This is a great pressure.

Anh Dung Taylor with his wife - singer Thu Phuong - and son Duy Hai, daughter Thanh Thao.

-With his wife's two children, how can he avoid being branded as a stepfather?

-In taking care of and raising the children, I have more pressure than Thu Phuong because the two older children are Phuong's children. In addition, the presence of the children's biological father - currently a neighbor of our family - increases the tact and sensitivity in every word I say.

Before living with Phuong and my two children, I had never been married and had no children. I thought very simply: if I loved and educated my children as my own, everything would be fine. In the first two years of living together, I learned a lot of experience, especially whenPhuong's parents came to America to live with us.I grew up and absorbed American culture since I was 13 years old. Being from the South, it is inevitable that there are cultural differences. Even though we speak the same language, we still cannot fully understand each other.Since then, I have adjusted my behavior to be psychological and tactful. I am aware of every word I say as well as how I behave when my children make mistakes.Not speaking up can be taken as not caring. Being too forceful can be taken as being difficult. I always make sure to speak up at the right volume, at the right time, and always use the right words, otherwise the whole family will be disappointed.

As for my two children and Phuong, I am stricter and more explicit when they are naughty. I always punish all four children fairly to avoid comparisons between them. The four of them are like one. Phuong and I are very reassured when we see our children love and bond with each other like siblings with the same mother and father.

- How do you react to the feelings of your wife's two stepchildren for their biological father?

- The first three years when I first met Phuong, Huy (singer HuyMC) did not talk to me. I knew Huy was under general pressure in life, so I created an opportunity to invite Huy to play with my band in performances. I think there is one thing that cannot be changed - Huy is the biological father, the flesh and blood of Phuong's two children. For their happiness and future, Huy, Phuong and I need to have a good relationship. Since then, every time there is information related to the two older children while they are still in Vietnam, I update Huy.

I still remember clearly the night I called Huy to tell him that my two older children had been granted visas to the US and that I would be returning to Vietnam to pick them up. Through the phone, I could feel Huy's tears of happiness. From that moment on, I officially became the second father of Duy Hai and Thanh Thao.

When I decided to buy a house to bring my two children from Vietnam to the US, I bought it near the area where Huy and his wife were living to create opportunities for father and son to meet and live more easily. Many friends asked me why Dung didn't move to Silicon Valley in San Francisco, one, to help my software engineering job and two, to avoid Huy. I smiled and replied: "Love requires sacrifice, acceptance - even if it means a little loss - to be worthy of what you will receive later."

- How is your relationship with your wife's ex-husband now?

-Since the two children came to America to live with Phuong and me, Huy often comes to our house to pick them up to eat and watch movies. And we see each other as neighbors, nothing more, nothing less. When there are decisions that require everyone's input, we meet to discuss to avoid the situation of beating the drums for bad luck and blowing the trumpets against each other. Huy and Phuong trust me so they completely entrust me with the education and guidance of their children. This is a big responsibility and also an encouragement for me.

Thanh Thao (left) - daughter of Huy MC and Thu Phuong - considers Dung Taylor as her second father. She has been close to her father Dung since she was eight years old, when she first came to America, until now, when she is 16 years old.

- What is your concept in raising children??

- My eldest son Duy Hai has a strong personality and is independent like his mother Phuong, so he has his own thoughts and direction. Phuong and I only advise and guide him when he asks for advice. Thanh Thao came to the US at the age of 8, an innocent and easy-to-adapt-to-new-life age. Since childhood, Thanh Thao and I have had empathy in every word and look, so I invest the most time in Thanh Thao. She always comes to me whenever she has problems related to friends, school or material needs. I often analyze in detail for my children to understand and distinguish between "need" and "want" in life, then trust them to make the decision.I am also the person who directly prepares Thanh Thao’s timetable for each school term. Thanks to that, I always keep track of her learning situation. Thao has been an excellent student since grade 5, receiving certificates of merit from the school. I still remember when she graduated from secondary school, she received a certificate of merit from President Obama for excellent students nationwide.

The two younger children - Barry, seven, and Hailey, four - are simpler. They are at their most adorable age because they always want to be with their parents and do not ask for anything. Every morning, Phuong or I prepare breakfast for the two children, take them to school and then bury our minds in work. In the afternoon, we pick them up and take them to extra classes or talent classes such as martial arts, drawing, music, etc. Every day, I check Barry's lessons. Thanh Thao or I help her with her homework every day.

Thu Phuong and Dung Taylor with their two children Barry, seven, and Hailey, six (right).

-Why do you favor daughters over sons in raising children?

- I grew up with my mother and lacked my father's affection, so I always shared more with women, and that's why I favor my daughter more. I feel that women, even in a civilized society like America, are under more pressure. Because of equality, women in America still have to earn money, and at the same time have to play the role of wife, mother and housewife. That's too much pressure. I think that's why I spend more time educating my daughter. As for my son, there are many things that don't need to be said, just for him to feel and learn from his father's way of life is enough.

I see children as a blank sheet of paper, whatever adults draw on it will become a map for their lives. Adults should love children with a sincere heart, so that when they are smart enough, they will realize it and use it as a provision for life. The best gift parents can give their children is not property but knowledge, thinking, culture, morality and behavioral skills. I want my children to say later when asked about their father Dung: "Dad is very strict, not as sweet to us as Mom, but he is very fair, caring and loving towards us." If that happens, then my duty and responsibility will be fulfilled and I will be satisfied.

- In addition to taking care of his children, he also gave his wife many loving words on his personal page, making herMany people praise good men like you, it's rare these days. How do you feel when you get complimented like that?

- I feel that I have received too much from Thu Phuong, so what I do for Phuong and our children is normal and understandable. Phuong has been married for nearly 14 years and has two children when she comes to me. Such a woman will not have the need to have more children, especially when Phuong's career is developing. But Phuong's love for me is big enough to give birth to not just one but two children for me. I am happy and lucky to have my first son at the age of 40 and now have both a son and a daughter. The greatest asset in life is children. So why should I hesitate to "burn" and live my life for my wife and children?

According to VNE