Play dead and fake dead

(Baonghean) - The story of an eel being wrongly accused of "taking" birth control pills, the story of a Chinese contractor winning bids for several key projects in Vietnam, or the story of a journalist being assaulted by thugs... are all mentioned by the author from a humorous and poignant perspective.

Cartoon about water pipe burst event (Internet source)

- Where are you going, Uncle Dung?

- Go buy some medicine.

- What medicine is that, doctor?

- Contraceptive pills.

- Hey, don't make me curious!

- I'm curious too.

- Hey, I dare to ask you, if there is anything, you should forgive me. It seems like your wife has been growing taro for almost 60 seasons, according to the "weather forecast", the "electricity and water" are probably in a chronic drought period, in that situation where there is no fire, you still have to buy birth control pills "to prevent saltwater intrusion", which is a bit strange. Or have you just set up a "second room"?

- There's no second or third room, not for my wife, and certainly not for myself. I'll tell you a secret, I bought birth control pills to fatten up my eels!

- Implant what? Can birth control pills fatten eels? Based on tissue?

- You are not willing to "take advantage" of scientific achievements. When born, eels are hermaphrodites, after being raised for a while, only a portion of them will turn into female eels to "become mothers". After discovering that male eels grow faster and are more "handsome" than female eels, for a long time, some people have been whispering to each other to buy birth control pills to suppress them and "orient" them so that they do not turn into female eels anymore. It increases the quality and benefits the quantity. It is quite sophisticated, applying biotechnology, Uncle Dang!

- Oh, please, I beg you. Doing business like that in another world won't work. God will punish you to death! And I also heard that Nu's family gave eels birth control pills and it didn't work. And there was also a mass death of eels?

- That's because I bought Chinese birth control pills! Chinese goods, if it's Chinese goods, you can't trust it!

- Don't talk nonsense. The village chief seems to be allergic to Chinese products, right? Didn't you hear Mr. Nguyen Van Ton - General Director of Vinaconex Clean Water Joint Stock Company advise: "Don't think Chinese products are not modern"? You know, after dozens of "water breaks", our ancestors still firmly chose Chinese contractors to install the Song Da water pipeline. If it's not "good", who would dare to choose. Right?

- Bringing in Chinese contractors again? Hydroelectric power, elevated railways, old train cars… still not satisfied?

- How boring!

- Why don't the press get involved?

- It seems like journalists are learning how to fake their own death!

- Why do we have to pretend to be dead? Why don't we learn life skills instead of learning death skills? Teachers put their hands under female students' armpits to teach, district party secretaries dig tunnels through mountains to store alcohol, people who make fish sauce pour food coloring into their shrimp paste to make it easier to sell, and now there's this case of journalists learning how to pretend to be dead?

- Didn’t you follow the case of reporter Do Doan Hoang of Lao Dong Newspaper? Oh my god! He was brutally attacked by thugs while walking in the middle of the “city for peace”. After being repeatedly beaten, he was forced to lie still and pretend to be dead to survive. He really pretended to be dead!

- So the case of Dung Quat Bio Ethanol Factory, invested 1,900 billion with the mission of producing Ethanol to mix into E5 gasoline to sell for profit, now heard that it is "covered up", is it fake death or real death?

- If you have to spend 2 billion VND every month to "keep an eye on" it, then you are probably clinically dead. As our ancestors used to say, you are just waiting for a good time to "withdraw oxygen".

- I'm going to die from waste! Oh well, let's throw everything away first. Since we just received our village chief allowance this weekend, you and I will go to Fatty's shop to have some eel porridge to warm our stomachs.

- Are you not afraid of birth control pills anymore?

- Oh my gosh. Do you believe that? You have to be selective when it comes to news, comrade. The story about fattening eels with birth control pills is just a rumor. Sometimes, social media sensationalists exaggerate and create confusion. I went to inspect the place, there is no such thing. Just eat, I'll treat you, consider it your part in clearing the name of the Nghe eel!

- Ok, I'm a fan of eel soup. I thought what you said was true, I almost died!

Dung & Dang