Learn to listen

The 5-year-old boy Zezé in the famous book “My Sweet Orange Tree” grew up in a large family, his parents struggled to make a living and assumed that the boy must know everything, if he didn’t know, he would be taught by beatings. His childhood was completely devoid of love, lacking a proper guide, longing for someone to listen to his thoughts, dreams, expectations… But there was no one, the adults in the house always told him to listen, venting their anger and frustration about life on his skinny body with beatings.

His friend during those years of sadness was a sweet orange tree in the backyard, which he named Pinkie. He confided everything to Pinkie. He imagined that Pinkie was listening to him and responding with all the tenderness he could muster. Pinkie was the best listener, because it was always silent, waving its cool green leaves soothingly, and the peaceful scent it gave off was strangely comforting to Zezé.

The image of little Zezé sitting under a sweet orange tree, sobbing about his grievances moved millions of readers around the world. It turns out that the greatest thing our souls need in life is sometimes not money or fame, but to be heard.

Many people live their whole lives without learning how to listen, and they may not even have anyone to listen to them. Listening is difficult, it must be learned. “The speaker must have a listener”, that listening is just an instinctive physiological reaction of the human body, something that can be heard and then left there, heard and then forgotten, listened only to serve a certain purpose. Listening, however, requires not only the ears but also the heart.

When we listen to someone, all we do is sit next to them, let them pour out their hearts, we silently absorb the sobbing, sorrowful voices, like a soft sponge gently caressing their emotions. Listening to someone - listening is not just hearing, but also the combination of all the senses, even the sixth sense.

Without listening, life would be dull, boring and stressful. Listening is made up of “listening” and “hearing”, which means listening with concentration, silence and empathy; is the harmony of heart and mind; is absolute respect, love and trust for the other person. Listening is opening your heart, accepting differences, not being jealous or judgmental, always bringing positive energy to others.

Listening does not necessarily depend on sounds. We listen to the spring rain on the porch, and know that spring is coming, the peach blossoms are about to bloom, our homeland is about to have Tet, and that person is about to return... We listen to the cicadas chirping in the midday summer sun, our hearts sink with a premonition of separation... We listen to people's hearts, even when they are silent, but we still understand their losses, their sorrows, and we give them a warm, comforting hug... So when we listen in silence, we are also listening to our own inner self. We understand ourselves better in that quiet listening.

In the book “Understanding the Heart”, Zen master Minh Niem wrote: “The word “listening” has a very good meaning. You have to “listen” in order to “hear”. Therefore, “listening” is the entrance to “listening”. Without “listening”, you cannot “hear” completely. “Listening” is the deep silence of the heart. Practice listening with your own heart”.