When the husband is dry and boring

I didn't think married life could be this dull and boring. I'm afraid I can't keep trying anymore...

I have been married for almost 2 years, my husband's house is more than 100 kilometers away from mine. So I have to live far away from my family, only knowing my husband and his family. My husband's family specializes in agriculture, and since I was a child I have never known what a rice plant is. Fortunately, my husband's parents are still healthy, still do all the planting and harvesting, they don't force me to do it because I don't know.

My husband and I used to study at the same school but in different courses. When my husband graduated, I joined him. We met when he was studying in a bridging course. From the time we met until we decided to get married was exactly 1 year. And we only met twice. Mostly we talked on the phone.

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In general, my husband is a dry person, not delicate or thoughtful. Since we first got married, I have felt sad because my husband goes to work in the morning, and in the afternoon, if he has nothing to do, he sleeps until 5 o'clock, then gets up to play badminton and comes home at 8 o'clock to eat dinner. After eating, he plays on his phone, when he gets bored, he sleeps, and goes to work the next morning.

In general, my husband's schedule was just like that, never changing. At that time, because I couldn't find a job in my field, I applied to work as a factory worker in a company 15 kilometers away from home. After working for a while, I got pregnant. Although I was tired, I still tried to go to work, earn a little money to save for when I gave birth so I would have money to spend.

During my pregnancy, my husband never offered to take me to work, nor did he ask if I was safe on the road or tired from work. One day, when I came home from work, it was raining and cold, with thunder and lightning. I was both scared and sad, so I cried as I walked. When I got home, I saw my husband chatting online with his friends, asking about them this and that. It turned out that he cared about his friends and not his wife and children.

I don't dislike my husband's family being poor, I already knew and accepted that before getting married. I'm just sad because living with a husband who is too boring, indifferent and irresponsible. Since giving birth, I haven't worked for a company anymore because I have to stay home to take care of my children. But I still sell things online, and I still have some income.

My husband's salary is low, so his parents still pay for food and living expenses for my husband, me and our children. My husband has no ambition, no determination, no effort and no plans for the future, nor does he help his wife or mother with housework. My husband only knows how to rely on his grandparents and his wife. When he goes out, it's fine, but when he's home, he's bored, plays with his phone and then goes to sleep.

His superficial lifestyle also made our marriage boring. We never talked to each other, let alone confided in each other, whispered, shared stories about life… I longed for a gentle hand, a hug, a loving look, or a caring word… or just a sentence “I miss you”, “I love you”… But the more I waited, the more disappointed I became.

My husband only brings me feelings of sadness, abandonment and loneliness even though I live right next to him. Every night I crave a kiss, a hug, a little passion... But honestly, I'm never satisfied with him.

On holidays and anniversaries, he was indifferent, not even saying a word to his wife, let alone giving her flowers or gifts. Since getting married, I have cried a lot. Sometimes when I woke up in the morning and saw my wife's tears on her pillow, he would just say: "What's there to cry about? Are you crazy?"

Even though I tried to express my small wishes to my husband, it seemed like he didn't listen or care, so he never understood, let alone changed to make our married life warmer.

The more I see a big gap between us, hard to fill. I crave the gentleness of a man, his gallantry, his care, his attention... I crave the feeling of passionate love, the feeling of longing, the feeling of loving and being loved...

But I only have a selfish husband. There were times when I thought, if I continue living with this dull, dry and boring husband, will there come a time when I will betray him? I did not think that married life would be this dull and boring. I am afraid that I cannot continue to try anymore. I want to give up, but only because I love my children that I try to stay…/.

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