Crying Tree

(Baonghean) - Editor's Note: "Keyboard talk," not "casual chat," is perhaps because: In this era of... "keyboard warriors," why not? And therefore, it's always a gossip session between a "know-it-all" guy and a "clueless" guy...

"Keyboard Talk" - a new column in Nghe An Weekend magazine, aims to offer readers a humorous perspective on human nature, people and events... from two viewpoints, as well as two sides of an issue... We hope to receive it from readers near and far!

A mango tree with a diameter of over 20 cm and a height of over ten meters on Nguyen Xien Street, Kim Van - Kim Lu urban area (Hanoi), has fallen, its root ball still wrapped in plastic. Photo: VnExpress

- How come you look so disheveled?

- Of course it's true! It's all your fault! You keep urging other people's children to travel around occasionally to broaden their horizons, but instead of broadening their horizons, all you see is their gloomy faces...

Oh dear, where did you pick up that "blame culture" trend from? Anyway, where have you just been?

- Well, "a trip to the capital" is the only way! It was truly a "one-shot victory," just like a scene from "The End of the World," thankfully I managed to drag my old body back here to continue my career of "respecting my wife and fearing my children"...

So you were caught in the terrible storm in Hanoi on June 13th, huh?

- Well, that's right, on the day the Vietnam U23 team lost to Myanmar U23 1-2, losing their ticket to the final, and to make it even worse, they lost in the 79th minute. No wonder the heavens were furious!

- Hmph, Công and Phượng! But ultimately, it's all Miura's fault! He let the food slip through his fingers, what a pity!

- Well, it's precisely because the peacock couldn't transform into a phoenix that your elegant Hanoi looked so bare and desolate the other day, like a chicken with its feathers plucked!

- I heard that trees were uprooted like flies? Was that the same group of yellow heartwood trees that were recently planted?

- He's so backward! Where's the gold heartwood? That would be impressive, but it's all just tallow trees (no wonder they're so slippery!). The inspectors have concluded their findings, it's so embarrassing! And then there was the recent storm; it really exposed the truth: many newly planted trees were uprooted, revealing their plastic wrappings – they look like children playing with toy food. What kind of capital city is this that doesn't deserve to be a "leading example" for the rest of the country to follow? Clearly...!

- I heard that the tree that killed someone at the Quang Trung intersection was once slated for removal as part of the "6700 green trees" program, but the locals protested and the plan was dropped! Hearing the locals' complaints can be quite unsettling sometimes!

- You're quite good at shifting blame, aren't you? You're probably the top student in the "culture of blaming others"! Let's keep things separate. The reason most large trees in the capital fall is because sidewalks are constantly being encroached upon, dug up and re-buried for the sake of "fortification" and "undergrounding"—it's like children playing mock battles. Taproots become fibrous roots, deep roots become shallow, long roots become short, roots go one way, trees go another. If a big storm comes, it's no wonder they're devoured! There's a saying, "Eating from the forest brings tears to your eyes," but maybe we should add, "Eating from the city brings laughter!"

- It's hilarious! It seems like our green, clean, and beautiful capital city is struggling so much just to get one tree in! Or is that just how crowded and densely populated this place is? Does anyone still sing the song "Those who want to go to Nghe An can go, but I'll stick to working in the capital" anymore?

- Well, whoever can sing, go ahead, I'm not forcing anyone! It's just a pity, whether it's a tree or a person, they all have their fate, sir. If they grow in good soil, everything's fine, but if they encounter bad soil, then just surviving is a big problem!

No wonder the capital city has long since lost its title of "most livable city in Vietnam" to Da Nang!

- It's not just Da Nang; I think even here in Vinh, things are pretty good! The roads are wide and spacious, you never have to worry about traffic jams. Even with a civil servant's salary, you can still buy a decent house without breaking the bank after buying it. Electricity and water are never a problem. The market is overflowing with shrimp, crab, and all kinds of seafood, whatever's in season. If you miss the forest, there's the forest; if you crave the sea, there's the sea… Wow! I told you, "Vinh is a place where no one can be humiliated!" It's truly a case of "Why wander around aimlessly and tire yourself out?"

Wow! Since when did you become a tour guide?

- If you like poetry, here's some poetry too: "Those who are far from Nghe An, let them be far away / But as for me, I'll still cherish my homeland," haha!

- I've come, sir! The only thing I can say that's true!

Jackfruit & Know-It-All