How to have 'desire'?

I am lonely in my own marriage, tried to love my husband, build a family but could not be happy.

I am 29 years old, have a 6 year old son, used to be pretty and cute so there were many people who loved and pursued me. The more people came to me, the more I realized that men are all equally fake. I am fickle, gullible, easy to love, sometimes I hate my naive personality, even though I tried to be on guard, I still trusted and loved. Then I met my husband, a gentle, frugal, honest, poor, a bit ugly and stupid. Another important thing is that he loves me wholeheartedly, respects me like a queen. At that time, I thought that my life only needed one person who loves me unconditionally like that.

I am smart, know how to do business, resourceful, will support him, I thought my life was peaceful. But after only a few days of marriage, I realized I was so wrong, besides that unconditional love, he is too kind to the point of being foolish, knows nothing, has to rely on me. I invested capital in his business but it also failed. The more I did, the harder I tried to earn money, working day and night to make up for it. He is selfish, calculating, stingy. He is still afraid of me, but he can only earn a few coins, not as much as I work harder, but he always wants to keep me. I have the gift of speaking, good communication, beautiful, so many people pursue me but I never let myself go beyond the limit. Life to me is like a shadow, coming and going in loneliness. I cannot have sex with my husband because I am not interested in him, but there are too many fears that prevent me from having an affair. For the sake of honor, for both sides of my family, for my friends and society, I try to keep my family that has been broken for a long time.

My husband and I never said anything when we went out and in. He was afraid that I would leave him, so he tried to serve me meals and take care of the children properly, which helped me feel better. But at this moment, the thought of having an affair keeps occupying my mind even though I am not dating anyone. It's not that I don't have desires, it's just that I'm not interested in my husband. I try to be a good, obedient woman, but now I'm too tired of the mask I created myself. I'm lonely in my own marriage, I've tried to love my husband and build a family, but I can't be happy. I've lived like that for 7 years and now I never want to live like that again. What should I do with someone who puts honor, public opinion, and morality first?

According to VNE