How to cultivate father-child relationship?

June 18, 2017 14:24

If maternal love is a feeling that develops naturally from the time the mother is pregnant, then to cultivate paternal love, it requires a lot of active effort from the father. In this busy life, how can a father build a relationship with his child?

Oxytocin is known as the “love drug” and coordinates all social behavior. According to scientists, before pregnant women can feel love and affection for their children, they must undergo a change triggered by oxytocin.

In the book “Six Billion Ways to Happiness” (The World Publishing House), author Stefan Klein - one of the most influential science journalists in Europe said: As soon as the signals for pregnancy hormones and oxytocin appear, maternal programs begin to run in the mother's head, and some parts of the woman's midbrain change permanently.

The process of raising a child is also the time when mother-child affection is nurtured. When a mother breastfeeds, the brain releases oxytocin. This creates a bond between mother and child.

Khi người mẹ cho con bú, não bộ sẽ giải phóng chất oxytocin. Điều này tạo ra một sự gắn kết giữa người mẹ và đứa con. (Ảnh minh họa)
When a mother breastfeeds, her brain releases oxytocin. This creates a bond between mother and child. (Illustration)

Whatever the impact of nurture, brain rewiring bonds most mothers to their children for life, says science journalist Stefan Klein.

Thus, maternal love develops naturally from the time the mother is pregnant. Meanwhile, paternal love seems to require more initiative from the father. Only when the father actively creates a bond with his child can a close father-child relationship develop.

Người cha cần chủ động tạo gắn kết với con. (Ảnh minh họa)
Fathers need to proactively create bonds with their children. (Illustration photo)

So how can a father cultivate affection with his child?

When we love someone, we like to be around them, and the opposite is also true, if we spend a lot of time with someone, we will also come to love them.

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh taught: “If you love someone but rarely make time for them, that is not true love.”

In the book "Life is short, don't sleep long" (Tre Publishing House), author and speaker on the art of leadership Robin Sharma asks the question:

“Have you ever realized that the person you love the most is the one you often ignore?

It's easy to spend very little time with your family because they're always right there with you (or so you think).

But what is more important than family?

When a father spends time with his child when he is young, the father-child bond will be nurtured, and as the child grows up, that bond will become stronger. The memories of father and child together will become the marks that bind the two of them.

If a father is "neglectful" of his child when he is young, he must work many times harder to gradually build a father-child relationship when the child is grown.

Người cha dành thời gian bên con khi con còn nhỏ thì tình cảm cha con sẽ được vun đắp… (Ảnh minh họa)
If a father spends time with his children when they are young, the father-child relationship will be nurtured… (Illustration photo)

As a devoted father, Robin Sharma affirms: “Your children are only small for a short time. And when that window of opportunity closes, it is closed forever.”

A father's time with his children is something very special and meaningful to the child, much more important than the gifts he buys for his children.

According to author Robin Sharma, toys, video games, or any other gifts can not compare to the time you spend with your children. That is all they want, that is all they really need.

Spending time with their children means that fathers have to give up other things they need to do, and often they have to make plans to be able to spend time with their children, but I think that "sacrifice" is worth the father's "investment" and commitment.

With over 30 years of experience as a marriage and family counselor, American psychologist Dr. Gary Chapman asserts that the most important element in sharing time is that you and your child must do something together.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, sharing time is a precious gift that parents can give to their children. It conveys to the child the message: “You are important to me. I am happy to be with you.” At that time, your child will feel your important role as well as your love.

According to Dantri

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