White Lies

Why lie? At the simplest level, we lie to hide or even change the truth to protect our own interests. A child lies about his mistake to avoid being beaten by his mother. At a higher level, people lie to gain an advantage that is not yet theirs. This is the case of the child who lies about getting a perfect score so that his mother can buy him a toy.

A bad lie is one that has negative consequences for others: The child breaks a vase and blames it on the cat, causing the poor animal to starve for a day. A white lie is one that is true in situations where the truth could have negative consequences for others: The doctor lies to a terminally ill patient that his illness is curable so that the patient will not give up hope. It seems that the criteria for judging whether a lie is good or bad depends on the motive and the consequences.

Let’s not discuss whether lying is good or bad, but pay attention to its origin. Is lying an innate instinct or a skill that comes from education? I think that lying is born from the resonance of selfish instinct and the reflection of an education. When we were young, did our parents often threaten us with things like “If you don’t eat, your father will take you away”, “If you are naughty, the doctor will give you an injection”, “Don’t play with your mother’s closet because there is a ghost in it”, “Mom can’t play with you because she is busy”… While the truth is that adults simply take advantage of children’s fears or dislikes to keep them from doing things that go against their will. By the time children are old enough to realize the truth, their childhood has been filled with lies, and the first teachers who taught them to lie are none other than their parents.

Next to the family, school is the fertile ground for the seeds of lies to grow in children. When teachers find every way to raise their students’ scores or “save” poor students who cannot move up to the next grade because of their achievements, they have become a bad example for children about lies and honesty. In many specialized schools and selective classes, students have their scores raised, even “manipulated” in subjects considered “minor” or “unimportant” to “reward” them for bringing achievements to the school in gifted student exams. My friend told me that once at his sister’s school, a student spoke up to denounce the invigilators for letting students cheat on each other in the final exam. As a result, the poor boy was “discriminated” by the whole school for affecting the image and reputation of the school. But what shocked my friend the most was the way her sister told the story in an attacking manner, as if he had done something terrible. When all the boy had done was tell the truth.

I am not afraid of lies. I am afraid of confusion, of equating lies with honesty. Afraid that people will get so used to lies that one day, they will think they are the truth. Afraid that instead of deceiving others, we will deceive ourselves and immerse ourselves in a reality drawn by imagination. Afraid that, blinded by lies, I will not recognize the truth even when it is running naked in front of me.

Lying is good or bad, it doesn't matter. What matters is whether you can recognize it as a lie or not?