84 year old mother alone raised mentally ill child for nearly 10 years

(Baonghean.vn) - Not having enough strength to keep her mentally ill son who often runs away and fearing that he will cause trouble, Ms. Cao Thi Tam in Hamlet 12, Thanh Tien Commune (Thanh Chuong) had to ask someone to buy and chain her son to a post. She felt secure because her son was always in the house, but the pain every day when the clanging sounds and the sight of her son struggling with the chain seemed to cut into her heart.

Because he was sick, Mr. Tai asked for food at any time. Photo: Dam Phuong

Born in 1933, this year Mrs. Tam is 84 years old. At her "rare" age, her back is bent, her strength is exhausted, she should be resting in her old age, being cared for by her children and grandchildren... However, every day she still has to be on duty to take care of, change, wash and cook for her sick son.

Her son, Nguyen Van Tai (born in 1977), used to be an intelligent and good student, but in 9th grade, like his brothers and sisters, he dropped out of school to follow his parents to the fields to earn a living.

In 1988, Tai suddenly left home for several days without returning, and his behavior became more and more obvious, not like a normal person. His family took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with mental illness. From then on, Tai had to be admitted to a mental hospital for treatment, each time for at least a month before he was stable enough to return home.

In 2009, Tai's illness relapsed and became more severe. Treatment and medication at the hospital did not help. By mid-year, he escaped from the hospital and wandered around Do Luong, Thanh Chuong, Yen Thanh... The family mobilized relatives and, wherever they heard information about him, they would come looking for him. It took nearly a month to find and bring Tai home, but if there was anything in the house that he did not like, he would break everything, from fans, beds, cabinets, pots, bowls...

Mrs. Tam takes care of all of Tai's daily activities. Photo: Dam Phuong

Before he could recover from the devastation in his house, Tai almost caused trouble with a girl in the neighborhood. Worried that something big was about to happen, his brothers and relatives discussed with Mr. and Mrs. Tam to buy chains to fix them. Mr. Tam was also sad and fell ill. After nearly 3 years of illness, he passed away, leaving Mrs. Tam with an empty house, a debt, and a mentally ill child.

Her four children have their own families, leaving her alone in the small house with her sick child. When she was still healthy, she worked in the fields and went to the market to find some fresh food. Now that her health is poor, she and her children have only one field and have to rely on her children to help them so they can have rice to eat every month.

The house was empty from beginning to end, without any property. A carpenter in the commune felt sorry for her sleeping on a mat, so he made a 1.5 meter wide bed for her, but Tai did not sleep on the bed. She took off the chain and led Tai to the bed, so he also slept on the mat. In the cold winter, he only had a shirt and a mat. When he was sick, he tore the blanket off...

Every month, the mother and son receive 810,000 VND from the State, all expenses must be included in that amount. Even if Tai buys medicine, he throws it away and doesn't take it, but when it's cold and rainy, he must have cigarettes to smoke, otherwise he will scream and make the neighbors restless. The main food is vegetables from the garden to cook soup. Sometimes she sends her children to buy a few pounds of meat to nourish him.

Mrs. Tam was tall, her back was bent, her body was weak from lack of food and exhausted from straining to serve her child, but she never had a good night's sleep. As soon as she lay down, before she could sleep, she was awakened by her child's cries, sometimes asking for cigarettes, sometimes asking for food, sometimes the chain twisted so she couldn't turn it, still screaming. The worst part was that because she was chained, all her personal hygiene had to be done in one place, sometimes she had to clean all day, and before she could sit down to rest, she had to go back to cleaning.

Mrs. Tam and her son lived together day by day. Photo: Dam Phuong

But the most painful thing for her was that every time Mr. Tai moved or struggled to cry for help, wanting to escape the shackles, the iron chains clanged. She felt as if she herself was chained, and could do nothing but sit by his side, talk and cry with him...

Then she cried again, thinking: I can still serve my children now, but when they pass away, I don't know how they will live. All of my children have their own families and don't live nearby. If I feel sorry for them, I'll cook them a meal. At night, when it rains or shines, who will be there to comfort them?

Mr. Nguyen Trong Bay - Chairman of Thanh Tien Commune People's Committee said: Everyone in the commune knows and sympathizes with Mrs. Tam's situation, but they only share it when there is a holiday or Tet regime. Her family and the government all hope that she will receive more support to reduce her burden of worries... All help should be sent to Mrs. Cao Thi Tam in Hamlet 12, Thanh Tien Commune (Thanh Chuong)./.

Ha Linh