The art of being friends with your children

(Baonghean.vn) - In order for a child to grow up in an environment with complete physical and mental development, parents need to let their children feel their love and affection by becoming friends with their children. However, becoming a friend that children trust is not easy.

A sociologist once said that one of the failures of parents when trying to be friends with their children is “not knowing how to work together with their children”. We often impose everything on our children without considering whether they like it or not, forcing them to learn to play music or learn to draw according to the subjective wishes of their parents. When they are children, they can endure it, but when they reach puberty, they will rebel, and the pressure from their parents will create a reaction in their children. This is a danger that greatly affects the family atmosphere. To avoid this, parents themselves must first change their thinking and skills.

1. Spend time with your children

To be friends with our children, we must first spend a lot of time with them. Spending time does not mean giving up all work and just picking them up, bringing them food and water. Spending time with our children means knowing what they are thinking, what they are afraid of, what they want. When we know what our children are thinking, we can confide in them. We cannot force a teenager to think like us or do what we want. Timely correction and advice will help prevent unfortunate consequences that may happen to our children.

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When parents know what their children are thinking, they will know what they are afraid of. There are children who are afraid of failure, so they do not dare to participate in any challenge. There are children who lack confidence (in appearance or knowledge), so they are afraid to communicate with people. Not daring to share failures, always feeling self-conscious and sad makes them depressed. Parents must be close to and recognize this early. In case they know their children are afraid of something, parents should not be subjective, thinking that it is "worrying for nothing".

2. Put your child on an equal footing when talking.

This means you will have to humble yourself, or raise your child to the status of an adult so that the parent and child can be on equal footing. Being on equal footing does not mean being on the same level, but here it means you put yourself in your child's shoes to see and solve the problem.

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In life, when faced with an object or phenomenon, we often describe, criticize, comment, and judge without offering any solutions. We apply this habit to raising children. This does not bring any benefits to children, not to mention it will make them more distant from you. Instead of criticizing your child for being a bad student and having bad grades, you should think of solutions to help your child get higher grades and study better.

Seeing that your son has a girlfriend, you strike first: “You’re already in a relationship”, ensuring that he will keep his affair a secret from now on. If you talk to your son like two men “She’s pretty”, you will be able to extract information from him, helping him go down the right path. Since you can’t stop him, it’s best to choose a way to control the situation.

3. Create beautiful memories

People with good memories are often more emotional and kind. According to research by foreign scientists, those who have a happy childhood are also more likely to be successful later in life.

Parents can create for their children feelings, beautiful memories so that they always remember when they are far away from their parents, that they have a happy family, how much their parents love them, they feel proud and happy when thinking about their family, this will make the children always close to their parents, it is like an emotional bond connecting parents with their children. So that when they stumble on the road of life, it will not be too difficult to overcome. Parents should give their children days off to take them to the park, go to a tourist destination, or participate in outdoor games to strengthen their feelings, thereby leaving beautiful memories.

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Don’t make excuses that you are too busy with work to have time to play with your children. In fact, you only need to spend 30 minutes a day to have fun with your children. Maybe while waiting for mom to cook, dad can sit and arrange games with your child, or notice what game your child likes and say to your child “let dad play with you” your child wants someone to play with him, so your child will definitely be very excited.

4. Sometimes pretend to be “stupid”

To play with your child or to become the friend your child chooses, sometimes parents should pretend to be “stupid” and pretend they don’t know anything. If you want to get some information from your child, why don’t you pretend you don’t know anything: “Son, show me how to play this game”, I guarantee your child will be very excited to share with you. If you were always at a disadvantage when playing with someone, would you like it?

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5. Show loving gestures

We buy good milk for our children but forget to show our love. This is like a big and beautiful house but lacking warmth.

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You should often show loving gestures to your child to increase affection, parents and children are closer to each other, sometimes just with a small gesture every morning before your child goes to school and you don't take your child, you can kiss your child on the forehead and tell your child "My good child, study hard!" Just like that, but in your child's heart there will be feelings about the affection that parents have for them.

Khanh Chi

(Synthetic)