Wife sues lawyer for 'threatening divorce but being honest'

Nguyen Thao, 27 years old, an employee of a foreign company, is the second wife of Tran Huy, 38 years old, an IT employee, currently living in Hai Ba Trung district, Hanoi. After a year of marriage, she gave birth to a cute son, who is loved and pampered by her husband. Before that, Huy also had a 5-year-old daughter, but she lived with his ex-wife.

Thao and her husband live with her mother-in-law in a small apartment. She came from the countryside to help look after the children. Thao feels uncomfortable when her husband pays attention to her mother, taking care of her meticulously, pouring water, wiping her mouth with a towel... She insinuates that her husband loves his mother more than his wife.

The arguments became more and more frequent, only about small things like "why do you buy cakes for mom, but not the ones I like"; "mom only cooks her favorite dishes"... At first, Huy tried to explain that he was not biased towards anyone, he would buy whatever she liked. But gradually, he often became silent whenever she spoke.

Every time she was angry, she threatened to divorce. She thought that doing so would scare her husband, and he would never dare to do it for real, because she was beautiful, had a stable job, and "gave birth to a son, making him proud".

Many wives easily say divorce, only to regret their decision later.Image:Phan Duong.

At the climax, Thao placed a tape recorder at home while she was away to see if her mother and husband were talking badly about her. In their conversations, they inevitably made comments about Thao such as "going out too often"; "recently coming home late"; "not paying much attention to the children"... When she heard these words from the tape recorder, she immediately called her lawyer to urge them to file for divorce.

"Listening to her talk about the conflicts and arguments with her husband, I found them all to be completely normal. He still cares for and loves his wife and children. There was no conflict between her mother-in-law and Thao. So I advised her to stay calm, there was nothing worth going to court about," said lawyer Nguyen Hong Thai (Hanoi Bar Association).

He said that every few months, Thao would call him saying she "couldn't stand it" and help him with the divorce procedures, but he patiently explained and advised her to talk frankly with her husband and think more openly, not to focus too much on personal thoughts.

Half a year ago, lawyer Thai received a phone call from Thao again, the fourth time in a year, this time she firmly said: "Please complete the divorce proceedings for me as soon as possible. I do not regret it and you should not advise me anymore!" Thao's voice was very loud on the phone, as if intentionally for people around to hear. Later he found out that she was in the hospital that day, due to a car accident, her husband had not arrived yet because he was in the middle of a meeting, only his younger sister came to take care of her first.

The two quickly divorced by mutual consent. Lawyer Thai said that on the day of the court appearance, Thao was still determined, while Huy was sad and did not say a word. "He confided that he did not want things to come to this point, but because his wife wanted it that way, he had to accept it. Huy said that he was also tired of his wife's nagging, constant comparisons, and jealousy, even though he always tried to find a balance," lawyer Thai said.

Huy did not fight for custody of the child even though he had the financial means. He also left her the apartment and rented another place for himself. Not long after, he moved to work at a foreign branch.

Two months after their divorce, Lawyer Thai unexpectedly met Thao again. She was much thinner than the day she was in court. "She said, 'I regret it so much, please find a way to bring our marriage back to the way it was before. Where can I find a good person who loves and cares for me like my husband. I was so impulsive and foolish!'" Mr. Thai recalled.

For a whole week after that, Thao went to lawyer Thai every day to "demand compensation", saying "why did you do the divorce procedure so quickly?" After a while, he learned that Thao fell into depression. She sent her child back to her parents' house and often went to the temple. A year later, she returned to normal life.

Lawyer Thai said he also received many phone calls asking for advice on divorce procedures, but the reasons were all very petty and personal., such as "my husband doesn't care about me"; "he often goes out drinking"; "my husband is bland, never gives gifts"... He has helped them save their marriage many times thanks to timely advice and timely reconciliation. Thao's case is the rarest, when she resolved the problem according to her client's request but was still "blackmailed".

Mr. Van Hoan (an information provider in Cau Giay, Hanoi) said that his company once conducted an investigation for a female client, about 45 years old, a director of a business. She divorced her gentle husband because she thought he was a "rookie" and didn't know how to do anything. Whenever she was angry or had an argument, she would say: "I've already written the application, if I want, I'll submit it to the ward immediately."

She then dated a man who was a dozen years younger than her, but only a few months later discovered that he had someone else and was only with her to "dig for gold". Continuing another relationship, she was similarly deceived.

"She told me that she would probably never find anyone as good as her ex-husband in her life. She wanted to rekindle her relationship with him, but he refused. After the divorce, he returned to his hometown to live with his old mother and did not want to return to the city," said Mr. Hoan.

Psychologist Tran Thi Hong Ha, Ho Chi Minh City Love, Marriage and Family Counseling Center, said that women have an inherent habit of doing everything very emotionally. When in love, many people ask for a breakup, but when married, they only argue a few times and then ask for a divorce. Many women consider those words as their "weapons", ready to use them whenever they want without knowing that it is a double-edged sword. If it is only once or twice, men can give in, but when they have to hear it too many times, they think that the woman does not value this relationship, so they will let go like Ms. Thao's husband, or the director's husband.

Because they often make decisions in the heat of the moment and act on emotions, many wives later regret it, but it's too late to save the marriage.