Ukrainian wife in Vietnam for 20 years taking care of her husband with stroke

"Let's go to Papa's hospital", quickly wiping the sweat from her forehead, the blond-haired Ukrainian woman whispered and gently rubbed the hand of the man sitting in front of her. Mr. Thang - her husband - although unable to speak, tried to look at his wife, his mouth mumbling. That moment made Svetlana happy because she understood that her husband was gradually recovering. It had been nearly 20 years since Mr. Thang fell ill and could no longer take care of himself, Svetlana seemed to have gotten used to the scene of the couple "being in the hospital more than at home".

"There were times when life was at a standstill and I thought I couldn't continue, but then looking at my husband and children, I had more motivation to try," said Svetlana Nguyen.

Their love began in 1988 when they first met at the Kiev Customs Department canteen when Thang came to send goods. Two years later, they got married. The Vietnamese man decided to stay in Ukraine, instead of returning home as previously planned. In 2000, he discussed with his wife, himself and their 9-year-old daughter about returning to Vietnam to find business opportunities, promising that once they had a stable job, they would welcome his wife and two sons to reunite.

A year after her husband returned home, Svetlana heard that he had a stroke, survived but was paralyzed. "I cried like I had never cried before, feeling extremely helpless. But then I told myself to try harder, maybe a miracle would happen," the 55-year-old woman recalled the shock 20 years ago. "No matter how difficult it is, we have to try. We came together with love when we were healthy, and we also treated each other with love when we were sick," she affirmed, then bought a ticket to fly to her husband's homeland.

Perhaps 30 years ago, when she first held the hand of a Vietnamese man, Svetlana did not expect the next stage of her life to be so thorny.

To Vietnamtake care of husbandEvery day, Svetlana wakes up very early to cook for the whole family and then sits and massages her husband's limbs to relieve his pain. Mr. Thang is paralyzed and his muscles and bones stiffen after lying down for a long time. To get him to sit down, his wife has to use all her strength to lift him onto her shoulders and move him step by step. Each time, she has to struggle for dozens of minutes, her body covered in sweat. Svetlana said that if she didn't do this, her husband's back and hips would easily get bedsores if he lay in bed for a long time.

On healthy days, there are times when her husband and children are sick at the same time, she is so tired that she cannot get up, lying on the bed with tears wetting her pillow. However, after crying, she gets up and works because the whole family depends on her alone. In twenty years in Hanoi, the Ukrainian woman has only returned home once to sell all her house, furniture, vehicles and even her engagement ring... to bring money to treat her husband's illness.

The couple's wedding was held in 1990 in Kiev. Photo: Provided by the character.

Not knowing Vietnamese, taking care of her husband and raising 3 children, Svetlana sometimes felt that God was being unfair to her. Seeing her hardship, some friends advised her to return home to free herself, but Svetlana just silently turned away. She said: "We live together because of love. If I leave, who will take care of him every day?" Thanks to his wife's care, Thang's health gradually improved, after two years he was able to walk and do some things independently.

After more than two years of her husband's illness, her savings were exhausted. Svetlana decided to find a job. Her husband's family gave her an apartment on Ngoc Khanh Street. They split the apartment in half, living in it and opening a coffee shop with the other half. The family pooled together a few hundred thousand to buy an old refrigerator. Friends also donated sugar and coffee. With no money to hire employees, the two older children, who were in middle school, had to spend half the day helping their mother sell.

The small cafe, opened in 2004 by a Ukrainian woman, occasionally welcomes fellow countrymen and people studying in the former Soviet Union. Several times Svetlana served them home-cooked dishes, which were praised for being delicious, and they suggested that she should also sell dishes from her homeland. The menu was gradually formed and supplemented according to customers' needs.

Since the restaurant expanded, life for the family of five has become less difficult. The three children no longer have to wear second-hand clothes given to them by others, and Thang no longer has to borrow money for hospital bills. The income from the restaurant has also helped Svetlana raise her three children to adulthood, all of whom have gone to university. The two older children now run a Russian restaurant in Saigon, while the youngest son is studying in Canada.

Natalia, a friend of the couple, said she admired Svetlana for her optimism and never being discouraged. "To have money to pay for her husband's hospital bills, she worked non-stop. Last Easter, there were days when Svetlana worked until 2am to complete orders for customers, then went to the hospital in the morning without ever showing any signs of fatigue," the Russian girl said about her friend.

Ms. Svetlana Nguyen next to a traditional Russian black bread bakery. During the days when Hanoi temporarily closed its on-site restaurants due to the Covid-19 pandemic, this was the key dish that kept the restaurant open during the pandemic. Photo: Hai Hien.

Life improved but life's challenges did not let go of the Ukrainian woman.Over the past twenty years, Mr. Thang has been hospitalized dozens of times, had several near-death experiences, and suffered four strokes.stroke, twice paralyzed, but after training he was able to walk again. The most recent time was in February 2021, he suffered from heart failure, cerebral hemorrhage, and was about to undergo surgery when he had a stroke right at the hospital. The Covid-19 epidemic broke out in Hanoi at the end of April, and his family was not allowed to enter the hospital room to take care of him. After being paralyzed for many days, he developed back ulcers and had to be transferred to another hospital to treat his wounds before the main surgery took place.

During this stroke, there was a time when he was in a coma for many days, the doctor announced that he would be sent home to take care of the funeral. Hearing the news, Svetlana collapsed, all her efforts and hopes gradually disappeared. The wife went into the hospital room, holding her husband's hand every day, talking about their old love, about their grown children, looking forward to her father being discharged from the hospital. One time, he reacted, holding his wife's hand very tightly, Svetlana decided to ask for her husband to stay for further treatment. "I always believed that one day he would get well," she convinced the doctor.

The children are all far away, so during the days her husband is in the hospital, Svetlana has to take care of everything. Every day, she wakes up at 5am, visits her husband, then returns to the restaurant to prepare food for customers. When she has free time, she goes to the hospital, then returns to the restaurant to work, busy until 12am. For more than a month, Hanoi has temporarily suspended on-site restaurant operations due to Covid-19, and the restaurant has almost no revenue. To pay for her husband's hospital bills, Svetlana asked her children for help and borrowed more money to make ends meet. However, she has never thought of the word "giving up".

Twenty years is enough to change the face of a city, and can also change the fate of a person, but for this woman, what has not changed is her love for her Vietnamese husband. "I just want to grow old with him and spend the rest of my life together," Svetlana said.

The Ukrainian woman always hopes that one day her husband will recover and the two will return to visit the city of Kiev - where many years ago they met and fell in love.

Hai Hien