Look into the eyes of children and live your life!

Reading the news about the 4-year-old girl who was abused to death, I was haunted for a long time by her eyes. Bright, dark eyes, sparkling like stars. A chubby face, her hair tied in two cute pigtails. In the photo, she looked like millions of other children still happily going to school every morning, still begging their mothers for a candy at the market, still sleeping soundly in their grandparents' arms after a long day of running and playing. Looking at that photo, at those eyes, how could I believe that she spent her last days in such extreme fear and pain!

I keep thinking about the moment the adults took this picture of her. Perhaps at that time, she still believed the world was a safe place? A four-year-old child usually loves instinctively, unconditionally. Just a little hug, a little comforting, and she can forget all her hurt feelings. Therefore, what could be more painful than when the adults – her relatives – the ones who gave birth to her – crushed that innocent, instinctive belief.

In many recent cases, what outrages the public is not only the cruelty of the perpetrators, but also the cold indifference of the biological mothers and fathers. Some know their children have been beaten for a long time but remain silent. Some participate in the beatings. Some clearly see the bruises and scars all over their children's bodies but do not intervene, even aiding and abetting the crime. This is what horrifies people with a conscience, because children, from birth, place their entire lives in the hands of their parents. A child can endure hunger and deprivation, but cannot withstand the feeling of being abandoned, rejected, and neglected… by the very people who should be protecting them the most.

Social media is flooded with statuses lamenting: "How can there be a mother like that in the world?" - a mother calmly confessing to complicity in child abuse; coldly concluding: "I don't deserve to be the child's mother." Yes, a thousand times over, she doesn't deserve it, but if we only stop at cursing a cruel mother, perhaps we haven't yet touched the root of the story. The recent spate of child abuse cases shows that these are no longer isolated incidents of out-of-control. They reflect an extremely worrying dark side in how a segment of the population approaches love, marriage, childbirth, and raising children.

The more tragedies we witness, the more we are forced to acknowledge that not everyone who has children is mature enough to be a parent. Many enter marriage in a state of deep hurt and instability. They love with naive emotions, marry because they cannot resist loneliness, have children instinctively, and raise them by repeating the unhealed wounds of their past. Some men bring failures, dead ends, and feelings of inferiority from the outside world home and vent them all on vulnerable children. There are also women who are so emotionally dependent that they accept turning a blind eye to their children's pain just to maintain a relationship. In such families, young children often become the scapegoats of all the adults' pressure and anger.

The terrifying thing is that in many cases, evil doesn't begin with the intention to kill a child. This society is still too accustomed to violent behavior in raising children. Many adults still believe in the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child," that "I gave birth to you, so I have the right." Scenes of a child being slapped during a meal, or being stripped naked and whipped by their father or mother as if seeking revenge... are certainly not unfamiliar to many. Everyone just shrugs and says, "It's their child, they'll discipline them," "It's someone else's business"... This normalization of domestic violence causes many children to grow up in fear and low self-esteem, without anyone realizing the serious physical and psychological harm they are suffering.

Are adults living too selfishly? We enter into relationships based on our emotions, marry according to our needs, and have children according to our desires, but very few people ask themselves whether they are capable of providing a good, peaceful life for a child. A child has no right to choose which family they are born into or which parents they have. They come into this world entirely through the decisions of adults. Therefore, having children is never just a right; it is also a great responsibility towards a life.

Many people still think that raising a child only requires food, clothing, and a decent school. No, children need more than that! They need to grow up feeling safe, listened to, and educated with love and respect. A child who constantly lives amidst shouting, angry stares, beatings, and cold treatment will carry deep wounds throughout their life. Some adults, even decades later, still haven't escaped the haunting memories of childhood abuse and neglect.

However, ultimately, the responsibility for protecting children cannot rest solely on parents' shoulders. A civilized community must feel the pain of children. After every child abuse case, people often ask: Why did no one know? But in reality, many signs appeared long before the tragedy occurred. A child suddenly withdraws, becomes fearful, frequently has bruises on their body; cries echo from a rented room at night; the anxious look in a child's eyes when adults ask about their family… The problem is that we have been too indifferent, or hesitant, considering it someone else's private matter.

I believe it's time for child protection to be recognized as a specific social governance responsibility. I think there needs to be clearer and more decisive guidance from state management agencies, so that local police, neighborhood committees, and grassroots authorities truly care about and closely monitor households with young children, especially in boarding houses, temporary residences, complex families, or those showing signs of instability, to ensure that no child is left alone in the shadow of violence.

The same applies to schools. Education cannot focus solely on grades, discipline, or achievements. Students who come to class with unusual moods, panicked eyes, or withdrawn personalities need the teacher's attention before being reprimanded for academic issues. If only every morning, preschool teachers or homeroom teachers would take a few minutes to ask students: "Were you happy at home yesterday?", "Was anything upsetting you?", sometimes just a small question can open up an opportunity to save a child from abuse. In every family, parents also need to learn to ask their children if they had a good day at school, if they were hurt or scared in any way. Children need to grow up feeling listened to and protected.

Adults, please look into the eyes of children and live accordingly! Look into those innocent, trusting eyes and feel ashamed whenever you are about to utter a harsh word, deliver a slap, or be indifferent to the desperate cries of a child around you. When a child has to grow up amidst beatings, fear, and a feeling of abandonment in their own home, it is not only a family tragedy but also a failure of conscience. And ultimately, we adults owe those children an apology.