Heartbreaking suicide note of 80-year-old mother written to her 4 sons

"Boy,

Today, June 6, I turned 80, which means I have lived for 80 years.

In such a long time, I have given birth to 4 children, and raised 8 grandchildren. So, I am old enough to understand many things.

A few years ago, after your father passed away, I clearly felt that you were impatient with me. I really hoped that my son could take me home, I wanted to live with my children, and I could do whatever I wanted.

After 2 months, my heart was frozen, I knew, no one would take me home. But if they really cared about me, each person could come cook for me every night, how much less lonely I would be. Really, living most of one's life, what is the thing one fears the most? It can only be loneliness.

You spent exactly one year and nine months taking care of your mother, about 630 days. As a mother, I am grateful to you for that noble gesture.

After that, their faces became more and more ugly. They came without a greeting, and left without a word. It seemed like they were entering a hotel, passing by an old woman with no familiarity in their eyes.

I do not wish to offend any of you, although I have not eaten a single meal from you, worn any of your clothes, or even spent a penny of yours. But you make me feel that your coming to see me is a great debt I owe you.

Even when I became confused, you guys still quietly left every night, no one returned, and gave me a terrible loneliness.

It's okay, after all, after your father passed away, you came with me for a year and nine months. I'm grateful for that. For the rest of my life, I'll go it alone.

I have been struggling with loneliness for over two years. On my 80th birthday, my brothers came to wish me "Live long!", I laughed and thought that living long is useless.

Lately, I've been feeling more and more uneasy. I don't say it, and I don't know what to say. I hope that the illness will take me away soon. A few days ago, I dreamed of your father. He smiled and looked at me and said, "Come with me, you will never be alone again."

I am so grateful for his love in this life, and I am grateful for your companionship for 630 days.

I had a heart attack. I knew that day was coming, so I wrote this letter.

My hair is all white now, I swear on my white hair that I really appreciate what you guys do. But besides this, I have one more thing to say: I really regret giving birth to you guys, if there is a next life, I don't want to see you guys again.

But I still hope that all 4 of them will be happy in the years to come, and will not be abandoned by their 8 children.

After this letter, I want to stop everything..."

After a few days, the woman passed away peacefully in bed, holding in her hand the only photo of her and her husband.