Parents' classic lies affect their children

Parents "unintentionally" lie to their children every day, thinking it's harmless. However, those words have a big impact on their children's personalities.

Psychologist Dr. Magdalena Battles wrote an article on Lifehack to point out 10 "classic" lies that parents must avoid to build a good image in their children's eyes and teach them honesty.

1. Santa Claus is watching you.

When your child is doing something bad, like arguing with a sibling, many parents say this to make their child think that Santa Claus sees all their bad habits and will not bring them presents on Christmas Eve. This may work for a while, but soon they will realize you lied and feel entitled to lie like you.

2. Parents will not let anything bad happen to their children.

This may be your intention, but it is unrealistic. You cannot protect your child 24/7. Instead, let your child feel protected while still being aware of the real dangers.

You can say something like, "We will try to protect you, but there are always bad people out there and you could be in danger, like being kidnapped by bad people. That's why we don't want you to wander around alone." This way of speaking can be scary, but you need to help your child be aware of the reality so that they can be more cautious when meeting strangers. You should be careful in choosing the words to say to your child, to avoid making them obsessed or scared.

Illustration: KNKX

3. The park is closed.

You know the park is open but you don't have time to take your child. Instead of lying, be honest and tell your child, "I can't take you to the park today because we have to go grocery shopping for the week and I have other important things to do right now."

Your child may whine and complain, but that's okay, they'll learn that it's not always easy to get what they want. Telling the truth will make you an honest person in their eyes because eventually they'll grow up and realize you lied to them.

4. Mom promises it won't hurt.

Your child needs to go to the doctor for an injection but they are screaming and crying because they are scared and you want to stop them by saying "I promise it won't hurt". However, they keep screaming because they know you are lying. The first time you say it, they will believe you but what they have been through will make them not trust you anymore.

Don't lie. Let them know it hurts a little but that everything will be fine. Explain that the injection is necessary for good health.

5. You are the best artist, your painting is amazing.

Don’t over-praise your child if it isn’t what it seems. Your child can pick up on your tone and body language and can tell if you’re being insincere. Instead of over-praise, praise your child for their creativity or ingenuity in the work they do based on their ability, not the final product they produce.

6. It's time to go to bed.

It’s only 7:30pm and it’s not bedtime yet (e.g. it’s actually 8pm) but you’ve told your child it’s time to go to bed. They’ll be able to tell if you’re lying because they have a sense of time.

So, if you want your child to go to bed early, tell him/her "It's time to start getting ready for bed." This method is simpler and more effective, creating trust between you and your child.

7. Mom doesn't know what happened to the picture you stuck on the fridge.

You know exactly what happened to the painting, even though you were the one who threw it away because there was no space to keep all of your child's work.

The best solution is to explain this to your child so that they know to put their art in a cupboard or desk drawer if they don’t want it to get lost. If the cupboard or drawer is full, help your child sort through and recycle the things they no longer want. This will not only help them take responsibility for their art, but will also help you be honest.

8. Wait for me just one more minute

Your child needs help, but you have to finish the task at hand. Don't tell your child to wait a minute because it may take longer. And if you take too long to show up, you'll look like a liar to your child. Tell the truth in specifics that your child will understand.

9. Mom and Dad are leaving and you will have to stay home.

Instead of using this phrase as a threat, give your child more specific and realistic "punishments" that force immediate action. You might say, "If you don't have your shoes on and be ready in the car in five minutes, you won't be able to watch TV for the evening." If your child doesn't comply, make sure there is a consequence. You'll find your child listens more, not because they're afraid, but because your words carry weight.

10. Parents have no money

Instead of lying, explain to your child that they have a choice. If they want to go on vacation, they won’t be able to go to the movies or do other things. This helps them understand that sometimes sacrifices have to be made. This way, you’ll not only avoid being accused of lying, but you’ll also teach them a lesson about the value of life./.

According to VNE