What do falls teach children?
If your child is playing or running around and falls down, what will you do? For most Vietnamese mothers, the first reaction would be to run to pick up and comfort the child.
However, have you noticed that in most cases, the child's reaction will be... crying and do you understand why? "Let your child stumble and fail" - that is the saying that most accurately represents the Japanese parenting principle.
Society does not stand still but is increasingly complex, with more and more temptations. Therefore, if the personality is not mature enough to adapt to the complexity of society, it will cause many young people to easily fall and act rashly.
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When your child falls, first you need to observe whether he or she really needs your attention. |
When a child falls, what should parents do?
First, you need to observe whether your child really needs your attention. If you notice that your child is really in pain, has cuts or is bleeding, they will need your attention.
Depending on the severity, you may need to clean, wash, disinfect, or even take your child to the doctor. If your child is not seriously ill, you can ignore them and they will get up, brush themselves off, and continue.
You can also encourage your child by diverting attention away from them or by encouraging them. Accordingly, direct their attention to something else.
For example, you can smile and say from a distance (without running to the child): “Oh, you just bumped into the table. Is the table okay?” or “Oh, it was just a fall. Get up and keep playing” or tell the child why the fall happened, how to avoid it and gradually they will learn.
Absolutely do not let others interfere in this. For example, if you apply the above methods but your grandparents or husband apply the opposite (like running to comfort, soothe…), it will be counterproductive. Unfortunately, this is something that happens very often to Vietnamese mothers, especially when living with their parents-in-law.
Even something as simple as teaching your child when he or she falls down can help shape their character. Children will become more independent and obedient if you understand their psychology and handle situations wisely.
Almost all Western mothers apply the above. You will rarely see Western mothers running to comfort their children when they fall and Western children rarely cry when they fall.
The Story of Honda Soichiro
Although he is the owner of the world-famous Honda company, Mr. Honda Soichiro had an unsuccessful childhood. As an elementary school student,
Honda was often at the bottom of his class in terms of academic performance, and was considered to have a weaker thinking ability than his classmates. Honda failed at every job he tried. However, he later admitted that those years helped him have the dynamic and creative mind he has today.
Every person in the process of growing up and maturing cannot avoid failing at times. Of course, there are children who fail more than others. Parents who see their children fail often feel worried, afraid that their children's future will be full of failures.
This concern makes many parents try every way to prevent their children from facing failure. Not wanting to admit their children's failures, parents unintentionally put pressure on their children: "Don't make mistakes again!", "How many times have you messed up?", "If you make mistakes again"...
Don't do that! When your children fail, parents should be the ones to ease their psychological burden. Not only should you accept their failure, but you should also help them have a positive outlook on failure.
After each time your child fails, what parents need to do is help them gain the strength to correct their mistakes and confidently move forward. Reality has proven that the Japanese way of raising children is to create a mentality of "being allowed to fail" rather than "being forbidden to fail".
Mr. Honda Soichiro also affirmed: “You cannot be afraid of failure. The only reason you cannot be afraid of failure is because once you are afraid of failure, you will not succeed in anything you do!”