Unwritten rules that surprise America's new first family

Michelle Obama didn't know she shouldn't bring an aide when she first toured the White House with Laura Bush.

Donald Trump's wife and youngest son are expected to move into the White House a few months after he takes office, so that their son can finish his school year in New York. Photo: People

When President Barack Obama was first introduced to the permanent White House staff — about 100 maids, housekeepers, chefs and florists — he seemed surprised. Like most people, he never realized how many people it takes to care for the 55,000-square-foot mansion. When First Lady Michelle Obama introduced her aides to the staff, she said, “We’re on their land now.”

According to Time, the Trump family should rely on the help of these staff to turn the White House into a home for the new first family.

"When you get here, you realize a lot of things," Michelle Obama said. But the Trumps are used to having a housekeeper and Melania will not be moving to Washington for at least the first few months, so the transition is expected to be easier for the Trumps than the Obamas, who came from "a less gilded life." While some staffers are worried that the president-elect might replace them with his own butlers, maids and chefs, most are committed to staying on at the White House.

Time suggests that Melania should seek guidance from Michelle and her aides. There are many unwritten rules and practices. When Michelle first visited the White House, she brought an aide with her. Laura Bush gently told the aide that she was not to accompany the two. "This is between Michelle and me," she said.

Laura's aides were surprised when Michelle gave Laura a leather-bound notebook on the morning of her inauguration. While it was thoughtful of Michelle, knowing that Laura was writing her memoirs, the gift was not part of traditional inauguration protocol.

The Obamas also had to wait on some changes they wanted to make to their residence. Stephen Rochon, then the White House chief of staff, told them that a request to close a wall in Malia's room to give her more privacy would have to wait for approval from the agency in charge. Other requests were not so difficult to make. "The president wanted a shower," Rochon said. "I can understand why. I like that too!"

White House staff will do anything to make the transition easier for the new first family. After watching the inaugural parade down Pennsylvania Avenue, the Obamas had a buffet in the Family Dining Room. A few weeks before, social secretary Desiree Rogers worked with the White House florist to decide how they would set the tables.

One night, when Chelsea Clinton was sick, Hillary Clinton went into the kitchen she had built on the second floor and tried to make her daughter scrambled eggs. A butler looked worried as the first lady searched for a pan. “We’ll bring the omelet from downstairs,” the butler said. “No,” she said. “I just want to make scrambled eggs and applesauce and feed Chelsea what I would feed her if we lived anywhere else in America.”

Similarly, President Bill Clinton has also been annoyed by some conventions. He was angry when a staff member decorated the family Christmas tree because he wanted to do it with his daughter Chelsea.

Alonzo Fields, a White House butler from 1931 to 1953, called the transition from one president to the next “as sudden as death.” He described the sadness felt by butlers, maids, cooks and florists as they had to say goodbye to families they had grown close to over the years.

President George HW Bush was emotional as he said goodbye to the staff gathered in the State Dining Room on the morning of his successor's inauguration. Barbara Bush walked through the Blue and Red Rooms (the living room and the music room) to hug all the butlers. "My hard work is over," she said. But the White House staff had no time to rest, with about six hours between the inauguration and the parade to welcome the new first family.

According to VNE