Women lose value

My colleague's wife just gave birth after Tet. A few days ago, he was always showing off pictures of his daughter, but today, for some reason, his face was as sad as a spoiled bun. I asked him, and he replied sadly: "I read in the newspaper that in the next few decades, the gender structure of our country's population will be skewed because the birth rate of boys is higher than that of girls. If you give birth to a girl, you won't have to worry about her being single in the future. Even boys will have to line up to ask to live with their son-in-law like King Hung to choose a husband for their son. But recently, there was a case of forcing a woman to kiss in an elevator and only being fined 200,000 VND. With the price dropping so sharply, how can you not be worried?" After listening to him, I also felt worried, because my wife at home was pregnant and we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl. The house I was staying in was an apartment building, and my child would have to take the elevator every day. I quickly wrote a request to leave early to discuss with my wife about selling the apartment building and moving to a house to keep the price of the house for the child.

It is not until now that harassment of women has appeared in Vietnam. Many people believe that only physical contact and violation is considered harassment, while the concept of harassment is divided into many levels and methods. Indecent assault or rape is the most serious level of harassment, which can leave mental and physical consequences for the victim. However, nice words or even looks can also be considered harassment, even if they do not leave visible marks on the skin.

According to a 2017 CNN survey, 87% of women in Vietnam are harassed, many of whom are not even aware that they are victims of harassment. This rate is even higher than India, a country where sexual assault against women is a constant problem internationally. I think we should all be ashamed of this and re-examine the way we treat women. Not just groping or raping, are we still harassing our female colleagues every day with what we consider humorous jokes about their bodies? Is there any man who can say with absolute certainty that he has never stared at a female colleague’s bust, waist, or hips with impure thoughts? In my company, there is a woman with a plump figure and a rather large bust. Every time they saw her, her male colleagues would ask, “Are you tired of carrying dumbbells to work every day?” At first, the female colleague felt uncomfortable and embarrassed, but over time she got used to it, and after getting used to it, she became indifferent. Every time she was asked, she answered calmly as if it were a normal greeting.

But the danger lies there, when we get used to it and assume that these harassing behaviors are the same as any other words and behaviors. When we assume that women are born to be flowers for people to pick, to be girls for people to tease. From teasing to touching and from touching to assaulting, there is sometimes only a thin line that none of us know for sure when we will cross that line and become the perpetrator or the victim.