Mistakes in raising children of many Vietnamese parents

However, many of these changes or initiatives are seen by adults as rebellious, as different, and they use "power" to force them into the routines that adults have long been familiar with.

Let’s look at the simplest examples: how many people have had to change their left-handed pen or chopsticks to their right-handed ones? How many questions as children have come to a dead end, unable to find an answer because adults thought the question was ridiculous? How many teachers have punished students for simply turning their hats backwards or solving math problems or writing sentences in a way that was not taught? How many parents have scolded or beaten their children because their grades were lower than their friends’?

Is it because Vietnamese society in general places too much importance on achievements and scores; and parents are also caught up in that cycle, wanting their children to achieve their expectations, so they unintentionally force their children to follow the path that their parents have set for them. However, is intelligence only shown through scores? Does success depend entirely on achievements? And do high scores and good achievements make children happy?

To answer this question, let’s look at some science. According to research, humans have up to 9 types of intelligence:

1.Spatial intelligence:Easily visualize, describe landscapes, imagine the world in 3D space.

2. Natural intelligence:Quickly understand the mechanisms of life, organisms and natural phenomena.

3. Musical intelligence:Good ear, sensitive to rhythm and sound.

4.Logical-Mathematical Intelligence:Quick with numbers, good reasoning skills, synthesizing information into hypotheses and being able to prove them.

5.Philosophical intelligence:There are often hesitations and reflections on philosophical issues such as the question: "What is the meaning of life?".

6. Emotional intelligence:Ability to empathize, recognize other people's emotions and quickly understand their thoughts.

7. Bodily intelligence:The ability to control body movements, demonstrating dexterity in physical activities.

8. Linguistic intelligence:Ability to use words to express oneself well, easily write or express opinions.

9. Intrapersonal intelligence:Understand yourself, master your feelings about yourself and always determine what you want.

The writer once attended an education conference and there, speaker Nguyen Chi Hieu (Executive Director of IEG Education Organization) shared a concept that the true destination is not immediate success but the wide horizon that opens up the day the child sets out to sea, perhaps the day the child enters university - the first threshold in life.

Try meeting and talking with students from top universities around the world about the requirements for a university application. It is not about achievements or scores. Instead, the admissions officers want to find individuals with their own personality, ideals, and values.

These freshmen are required to find the answer to the question “Who am I?” If we continue to follow the old teaching method, are parents confident that after 12 years of study, their children will have enough knowledge, skills and thinking to answer that question?

Believe that each child is a unique individual and forcing your child to follow someone else's path does not mean that he or she will achieve the same success as the model parents are pursuing.

Parents, as companions, need to identify their children's abilities and strengths, understand and respect them, in order to have appropriate guidance methods and provide their children with the best environment to maximize their strengths. Then, their children will be able to live as themselves, have their own goals and successes, and not be lost in the crowd of "copies" that exist in society.