Mistakes in raising children of many Vietnamese parents

However, many of those changes or initiatives are seen by adults as rebellious, as different, and they use "power" to force them into the routines that adults have long been familiar with.

Let’s look at the simplest examples: how many people have had to change their left-handed pen or chopsticks to their right-handed ones? How many questions as children have been stuck, unable to find an answer because adults thought the question was ridiculous? How many teachers have punished students for turning their hats backwards or solving math problems or writing sentences in a way that was not taught? How many parents have scolded or beaten their children because their grades were lower than their friends’?

Is it because Vietnamese society in general places too much importance on achievements and scores; and parents are also caught up in that cycle, wanting their children to achieve their expectations, so they unintentionally force their children to follow the path their parents have set for them. However, is intelligence only shown through scores? Does success depend entirely on achievements? And do high scores and good achievements make children happy?

To answer this question, let’s do a little science. According to research, humans have up to 9 types of intelligence:

1.Spatial intelligence:Easily visualize, describe landscapes, imagine the world in 3D space.

2. Natural intelligence:Quickly understand the mechanisms of life, organisms and natural phenomena.

3. Musical intelligence:Good ear, sensitive to rhythm and sound.

4.Logical-Mathematical Intelligence:Quick with numbers, good at reasoning, synthesizing information into hypotheses and able to prove them.

5.Philosophical intelligence:There is often hesitation and contemplation about philosophical issues such as the question: "What is the meaning of life?".

6. Emotional intelligence:Ability to empathize, recognize other people's emotions and quickly understand their thoughts.

7. Bodily intelligence:The ability to control body movements, demonstrating dexterity in physical activities.

8. Linguistic intelligence:Ability to use words to express oneself well, easily write or express opinions.

9. Intrapersonal intelligence:Understand yourself, master your feelings and always determine what you want.

The writer once attended an education conference and there, speaker Nguyen Chi Hieu (Executive Director of IEG Education Organization) shared a concept that the real destination is not the immediate success but the wide horizon that opens up the day your child sets out to sea, maybe the day your child steps into university - the first threshold in life.

Try meeting and talking with students from top universities in the world about the requirements for a university application. It is not about achievements or scores, but rather, the admissions officers want to find individuals with their own personality, ideals, and values.

These freshmen are required to find the answer to the question “Who am I?” If we continue to follow the old teaching method, are parents confident that after 12 years of study, their children will have enough knowledge, skills and thinking to answer that question?

Believe that each child is a unique individual and forcing your child to follow someone else's path does not mean that he or she will achieve the same success as the model parents are pursuing.

Parents, as companions, need to identify their children's abilities and strengths, understand and respect them, and have appropriate guidance methods and provide the best environment for them to maximize their strengths. Then, their children will be able to live as themselves, with their own goals and successes, and not be lost in the crowd of "copies" that exist in society.