Six mistakes in raising sons
The notion that boys must be tough and fearless... has unintentionally caused your child to suppress negative emotions in his heart, causing a lot of instability.
1. Expect your child to be emotionally strong.
Many parents are always willing to comfort and console their daughters when they are sad, but they try to train their sons to be resilient, not to express or suppress their sentimental feelings. In fact, both boys and girls have moments of weakness and sensitivity, and it is not good for either gender to keep negative emotions inside.
Instead of wanting your son to be tough, teach him emotion words like happy, sad, scared, worried, proud, insecure, brave and practice naming the emotions he is experiencing. That way, he may not express his emotions through actions, but he will know how to share and describe his mental state. From there, your son will be more comfortable talking about his emotions, releasing negative moods or sharing joy with people around him.
2. Boys never become victims.
Parents want to protect their daughters more carefully to avoid problems and dangers from society, forgetting that even boys can be victims of unwanted events.
Parents need to teach their sons from a young age about the importance of body parts and not to let others touch them if they do not want to. It should be emphasized that children can absolutely refuse unreasonable and unsafe requests.
Whether raising a son or a daughter, sharing between parents and children is always important. Parents should create open and comfortable conversations so that their sons can confidently share and tell personal stories. From there, whenever they encounter unsafe problems, children will promptly notify their parents to find a solution.
3. The mindset that boys must be good at sports
Boys should learn at least one sport but they don't need to be good at it. Every child has a different physique, parents shouldn't expect their children to be good at it.
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| Many wrong thinking of parents when orienting their sons. |
4. By default, boys will date girls.
When talking to children about marriage and love, parents should use neutral pronouns, which bring comfort and benefits to all children. For example, instead of saying "When you get married, you and your spouse will...", say "When you grow up, you and your partner will...". This helps children have an open view and respect for different relationships, not just between men and women.
5. As a boy, you should not be afraid.
Fear and anxiety are common human emotions, so it is completely natural for boys to feel these things. Parents should not tell their children "There is nothing to be afraid of" because these statements will make children feel insecure about themselves, suppressing fear in their hearts, creating negative and unstable emotions.
Instead, talk to your child about their fears to understand what makes them feel unsafe. Finally, always emphasize to your child that the bravest people are not those who are never afraid, but those who overcome their fears, accept challenges and conquer them.
6. Do everything for your child
Many parents believe that boys do not know or do not need to do housework (including washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning the house) because these are activities for their sisters or future wives. However, this is a concept that can have a negative impact on boys' ability to be independent when they grow up. By doing all the housework, mothers are limiting their children's future development.
Housework is not for boys or girls. The purpose of children doing housework is to form a serious attitude, to take family matters seriously, to learn to be independent and responsible.
