Student roommates: 'Money is clear, love is decisive'

Each student has their own secret to living in peace with their roommates.

As shared in previous articles, student life in shared accommodation has never been easy.

Everyone has different problems. Some people “go crazy” because their roommates are calculating and petty. Some people “suffer” because their roommates are lazy. Some people “feel embarrassed” when their roommates constantly bring their lovers back to their room…

Many students are in trouble because of their weird roommates (illustrative photo).

Not every time they are upset or dissatisfied, the "es" can consider changing rooms, because constantly changing rooms brings with it a lot of trouble.

Therefore, in this very complicated "shared" life, each student has their own "secrets" to live "peacefully" with their roommates.

Some issues to agree on from the start

As someone with a lot of experience in sharing a room, Bui Thi Hanh (a second-year student at Hanoi University of Labor and Social Affairs) affirmed that in order to live together in "peace", it is essential that students agree on a number of issues from the beginning.

The issues that Hanh mentioned included living habits and money. The female student from the School of Labor and Social Affairs said that she shared a room with three female students and from the first day of moving in, all four of them sat down together to draft common rules.

“We agree that each person uses their own things and washes their own clothes, except for a few items that must be shared.

The four of us also divided the work clearly. If one person cooked, another would wash the dishes. If one person went to the market, another would clean the house. Everyone's belongings had to be kept neat and tidy.

"Whoever stays up late or wakes up early must be gentle and considerate so as not to disturb others," Bui Hanh shared.

Bui Hanh (second from left to right) believes that in order to live peacefully together, members of the room need to agree on some common rules.

However, the second-year university student admitted that setting clear rules is important, but the members' awareness is the deciding factor.

“That’s the rule, but if anyone tries to sabotage or disrupt everything, then we’ll have to put up with it. The only way left is to remind them, and if it doesn’t work after a few times, then we’ll have to consider “breaking up.”

But I think, as students, we are all adults, how can we not know how to behave, to the point of arguing. The four of us have been together for quite a long time, everyone knows how to give in, works hard, so there has never been a big disagreement.

"Money is clear, love is decisive"

Money and love are two things that can easily affect anyone’s psychology, including students. They are also the source of a series of problems when sharing a house.

Having heard many stories from friends about the troubles related to love and money of roommates, Vu Thi Thanh Hien (3rd year student at Hanoi National University of Education) had prepared a few "coping" tricks when deciding to move in with strangers.

Hien said that before living with a stranger, the first thing she had to do was learn about his hometown, family, work and studies. Only when she felt confident did she decide to move in with him.

Thanh Hien shared that students who share a room should be fair about money, losing favor first will win favor later.

In daily life, Hien and her roommate are always clear about money matters.

“My friends and I usually pay for food monthly. That common money is kept separately, a portion is taken out to buy spices and common items at the beginning of the month, the rest is taken out to go to the market to buy daily food according to the prescribed amount.

If there is a surplus in a month, we put it in the next month's fund, and if there is a shortage, we both tell each other to pay more. We trust each other so we rarely have to record small amounts," Hien shared.

Hien added that she and her roommate agreed that if one of them moved out in the future, all the things they bought together would be used by one person, and the other would pay a reasonable amount.

“I think it’s easier that way, but at that time, sitting around sharing each packet of seasoning powder or bottle of fish sauce would have been weird. I believe that used things can still be used, but if sold, they have no value.

Therefore, whoever keeps the item only has to pay a small amount, and if the other person wants to take one or two things, just say so frankly. Negotiate gently with each other, everything will be fine," Hien shared.

Regarding personal space, Ngoc Ha (student at Hanoi College of Tourism) said that everyone needs to be respected.

Ha shared: "I never object to roommates bringing their lovers home to play, but they absolutely should not treat the rented room like a motel.

When I'm home, I have to be a little more considerate so that I don't feel awkward, and also... I shouldn't bring too many people home. This is a sensitive issue, but I still share it frankly with my roommate, to offend first and win back later."

Be open to feedback and sharing

Even though they agree on everything, in daily life, the roommates cannot avoid feeling resentful and dissatisfied at times.

Because, even husband and wife sometimes fight over bowls and chopsticks... let alone when they are strangers, they agree to live together to save money.

Nguyen Hoai chose to share frankly instead of staying silent to solve the problem with his roommate.

The secret to Nguyen Thi Hoai (born in 1997, currently studying at Nghe An University of Economics) having a "peaceful" life with her roommate is to be frank in giving advice and sharing.

Hoai believes that if you keep your frustrations and dissatisfactions to yourself and act sullen, it will create tension in the room. Instead of staying silent, at those times you should be frank in sharing and giving constructive feedback so that you can understand each other better.

However, each person is born with their own personality, not everyone is willing to listen, admit their mistakes and change.

“Patience is the key to good health. I think that if you lower your ego a little bit, life becomes easier. However, if you have already been humble and the other person is still stubborn, conservative and takes it too far, then perhaps you should find someone more suitable.

For students, studying alone is stressful enough, if they also have to scratch their heads over petty problems with their roommates, it's very tiring," Hoai shared.

Despite the trouble, most students still look for roommates, not only to reduce housing costs but also to have someone to share with, to have someone to take care of them when they are sick.

Living with strangers is never easy, yet it is an experience that every student wants to have.

According to Soha