Afraid of getting married, Binh Thuan man cancels engagement twice before wedding day

Mentioning the story of Mr. Binh's sudden broken engagement in 2017 and 2011, the people of Ham Cuong commune, Ham Thuan Nam, Binh Thuan still cannot help but gossip every time they have a chance to sit down. They give that man many extremely sensitive nicknames. As for Mr. Binh, although he feels guilty towards the two girls he once loved and respected, he does not want them to suffer when entering the life of a wife.

Mr. Binh is strong, handsome, and a long-distance bus driver. In 2009, he fell in love with Ms. Tham, a seamstress (21 years old at the time). Their love was supported by both families. All their friends said they were a perfect match.

After two years of dating, they decided to get married when Binh was 31 years old. The wedding date was chosen to be ontheir anniversary, Christmas. The two families agreed to hold a party at the bride's house,groom's family and held the church ceremony. Ms. Tham was very happy when she and her boyfriend went to take wedding photos, ordered invitations, restaurants and invited friends and relatives from both sides.

Everything was ready, the groom's family was about to go to the bride's house to attend the engagement ceremony (right before the wedding day at the groom's house) when Binh disappeared without a reason. Ms. Tham and her future husband's family searched everywhere but to no avail. His parents had to call each guest to apologize. It was not until they learned that their special day had been canceled that Binh returned, announcing that he did not want to be the groom.

Although very sad, his parents respected their son's decision. More than a year later, Ms. Tham also had a new lover, but he was still single.Once, while driving a passenger from Binh Thuan to Ho Chi Minh City, Mr. Binh met Ms. Lan, who was 9 years younger than him and from a different district. When they heard that their son had a new girlfriend, his parents were very happy. They were sure that this time they would have a grandchild to hold.

However, just like the previous time, Binh suddenly left home when Lan was only one day away from becoming a bride. After more than 3 months of not being able to contact the groom, the bride's family came to return the dowry. The two families of the failed marriage became hostile and despised each other.

Binh confided that both times he escaped to be a groom, he was very sad, tormented and hesitated a lot. “I didn’t go anywhere. I rented a hotel and turned off all communication. There, I was very lonely, blaming myself for involving my parents and girlfriend. Both Tham and Lan are good girls, loving and loyal to me. I don’t want to be a husband and make a woman suffer, have to live with a cover, having a husband is like not having a husband,” Binh confided.

It turned out that at the age of 25, he realized that he really liked makeup, long hair, wearing girls' clothes and being close to people of the same sex, but did not dare to express it for fear of being criticized and making his parents sad. "Loving Tham and Lan, I really wanted to have a wedding, have children, and be taken care of by my wife every day. However, when everything was ready, I could not overcome my nature. I am a very blameworthy and miserable man for destroying the youth and trust of two girls. But if I live by lying, I cannot do it," said Mr. Binh.

"Now, I dare not look back at my friends and relatives and meet the two girls again. I am very afraid of meeting their hateful eyes looking at me. I owe them an apology," Mr. Binh confided.

Professor Vu Gia Hien, director of the Center for Research and Application of Tourism Culture, said that Mr. Binh's cancellation of his engagement was very special and systematic. This was the first case to happen.

According to the professor, Mr. Binh is an ambiguous homosexual (just showing), so he often has a fearful mentality. These people want to have love with both men and women. When in love, they always long to live together with their girlfriend, so they are very excited when preparing for the wedding. However, when the wedding day is about to take place, they are afraid of facing the truth, so they find ways to avoid it and have to suffer alone.

According to Mr. Hien, for those who have to cancel their wedding for unavoidable reasons like Mr. Binh, they should be strong to overcome it and the first thing to do is to apologize to their family, friends and the person they put their trust in. "There are many reasons for a canceled wedding, but Mr. Binh's reason is that no one wants it and it is not only the pain of the person receiving the news but also of the person making the decision. It is best for Mr. Binh to tell the truth and face it so that something similar does not happen again," said Professor Hien.

*Character names have been changed.