Shocked because of marrying a 'gold digger'

After living together for more than 4 years, Ms. Kieu Trinh (Hanoi) just discovered that her husband's name is not Hung and he already has a wife and children in his hometown.

Handling hundreds of divorce cases each year, lawyer Nguyen Hong Thai (Hanoi Bar Association) said there are stories he can never forget. Earlier this year, Mr. Thai took on the unusual case of a Hanoi woman and her husband from Quang Ninh.

5 years ago, Ms. Kieu Trinh (then 34 years old), a successful businesswoman, met Hung, 2 years younger than her. Although rich but having a difficult love life, she had not loved anyone for many years. Hung's attention and masculine appearance quickly made her fall in love.

With over 10 years in the profession, lawyer Nguyen Hong Thai has handled hundreds of divorce cases.

Believing Hung's words that she had to flee to Hanoi because she was bankrupt, Trinh registered their marriage without a lavish wedding, and opened an automobile business for Hung to manage. After living together for a while, Hung gradually revealed his lazy nature, liked to spend money, and took money from his wife. He used any money he had to gamble and bet.

Ms. Trinh said she once gave her husband a large sum of money to pay off his debt, but a few days later, when the creditor asked for it, she was shocked to find that her husband had spent it all. When she complained, he slapped her, even though she was heavily pregnant at the time.

Being good at talking, after beating his wife, Hung apologized profusely and showed remorse. Because she loved her husband and was afraid of being criticized, she let it go. Many times she had to compensate for her husband's business losses, but it was like a drop in the ocean.

At the end of 2016, a friend revealed that her husband might have a wife and children in Quang Ninh and that he often traveled there and provided money for that person. Hiring a detective to investigate, she was extremely shocked to learn that her husband's real name was Luong Van Huy, not Luong Van Hung as stated on their ID card or marriage certificate. He still had a wife and two daughters.

A man from Quang Ninh used a different identity to marry a rich woman to "dig for gold". Photo for illustration purposes only.

"That fake husband went bankrupt in his hometown with 80 billion VND in debt because of football betting. The 4-storey house on the street has been seized. His wife and children are constantly being chased by creditors. This man occasionally brings money home for his wife and children. No one knows that he has assumed a different identity and is still accustomed to a loose lifestyle in Hanoi," said lawyer Thai.

When she sought out a lawyer, Ms. Trinh chose the option of resolving everything peacefully. Mr. Thai advised Ms. Trinh to convince her husband to agree to a divorce, to avoid letting his wife in her hometown know about the matter.

Stories of men approaching successful women to "dig for gold" are not uncommon on counseling lines. Psychologist Minh Hoa (Ho Chi Minh City counseling line 1088) said she has counseled many women who were shocked when they discovered their husbands were "male escorts".

Two years ago, she advised a woman named Huong in Dong Nai. Due to difficult circumstances, her husband followed a few villagers to Saigon to sell bread. Every month, he sent home 5, then 7 million to support his children's education. During Tet, he sent his wife 10 million and said he would stay to sell bread to earn more money, even though all his fellow villagers had returned home.

Although she felt sorry for her husband's hard work, her intuition told her that something was different about him, because many times when she called him at night, he didn't pick up. He came back on the 3rd day of Tet, and left on the 6th. During the few short days she was home, her husband always went out to answer the phone whenever there was a call.

"Ms. Huong called me when she discovered her husband was having an affair. He loved his children very much and did not want to lose his image with them, but he did not want to leave that rich woman. He promised to send his wife 10 million VND every month to take care of the children, as long as she ignored this matter," the consultant said.

Men who "dig for gold" often have scenarios like: pretending to be poor, pretending to be miserable; knowing that a woman has money but is lonely so they take the initiative to get to know her; pretending to be divorced..."Most of this group of men are good-looking, eat well, talk sweetly, and know how to please women," said the psychologist.

Another typical case that Ms. Minh Hoa has consulted is a woman named Phuong, living in Da Nang, who is considered quite successful. At the age of 30, she already owns two houses, many valuable jewelry, cash and a successful business. After a period of dating, she decided to marry a man who was a few years younger, sweet and gallant. Her family tried to stop her, thinking that he was a "gold digger", but Phuong insisted on her own will.

Not long after getting married, Phuong painfully realized the true face of a real "playboy", who specialized in taking money from women to satisfy himself. Besides his wife, this man also kept several young mistresses.

"The most disadvantaged in this matter are still the women, whether they are the ones being extorted for money or the ones whose husbands work for money. They are all gullible and seduced by sweet words," the psychologist added.

According to VNE