Who will be visiting our house this Tet holiday?

(Baonghean) Today, I and a few close friends gathered for a year-end drinking party. After chatting for a while, the conversation shifted to the topic of Tet (Vietnamese New Year). In a playful mood, I joined in the conversation:

"I dread the first visitor of the year the most. Last year, on the 30th of Tet, I was sitting eating sunflower seeds and watching TV when I saw my neighbor rushing over, looking very flustered."

- Uncle Trieu, what animal sign were you born in?

Confused and not understanding what was going on, I replied:

- I was born in the year of the Snake, but why, sir?

- Oh my goodness, I'm so lucky! I was born in the year of the Rooster, and the Rooster and the Snake are a harmonious combination, sir. You absolutely must come and be the first visitor to my house this year! Last year was so slow, all because my father-in-law's birth year and zodiac sign clashed with mine, so I reluctantly came to be the first visitor. This year I have to prepare thoroughly. So, sir, please remember to come early, I'll be waiting!

He rattled on for a while without letting me offer any opinion, then hurriedly ran off. I sighed, thinking, well, it only comes once a year during Tet, I can't possibly refuse someone's request. I finished the sunflower seed I was eating, and then another neighbor came in, chattering away like a bird:

- Uncle Trieu, please come and be the first person to enter our house this year! If you come, my husband will definitely get the head of department position this year. You absolutely must come, Uncle Trieu!

After this woman, I had two more people from the neighborhood asking me to be the first visitor to their house on New Year's Day. This is dangerous! If the whole neighborhood comes to ask for my help, on the night of the 30th and the morning of the 1st, I'll be nothing more than a village crier going from one end of the village to the other! My wife came in, saw me sitting there in distress, tearing my hair out, and asked:

- The Lunar New Year is almost here, why do you look so gloomy? Uncle Thu from across the street is here to see you!

I widened my eyes and whispered:

"Keep your voice down or I'll tell them I'm away, understand? Tell them my age isn't compatible, they won't be the first to enter your house on New Year's Day or anything like that."

My friends burst out laughing. One of them, a high-ranking or low-ranking boss, took a sip of beer, looked at the bottle, and suddenly his face contorted in a grimace. We all crowded around to ask him what was wrong, and he explained:

"Every year, people bring us gifts of sweets, soft drinks, imported liquor, and countless crates of beer, filling our house to the brim. My wife and I, feeling wasteful, take them to a distributor to sell them off, calling it combating waste according to the government's policy. That solution seemed fine, but one day, while I was happily selling off several crates of beer that people had brought, my wife came home and asked:

- So, they don't put envelopes of money in them? That's strange!

I was startled; I was so busy getting rid of those crates of beer that I completely forgot about it. My wife kept nagging me about the wasted money, so I reluctantly went to the store to buy back the crates I'd just sold. It hurt a lot, but I had to bite the bullet and pay several hundred thousand dong more. Back home, my wife and I searched everywhere but couldn't find any envelopes or money. While we were arguing, my mother-in-law came in, holding a stack of envelopes in her hand, beaming:

- Mom was afraid you wouldn't notice, so she put it away for you. Oh dear, who brought this beer as a gift? Now I have to sell it to avoid wasting it!

My wife and I kept looking at each other, then at those crates of beer we owed, our faces contorted in frustration!

They all burst into laughter. The laughter sounded somewhat ironic, mocking others, mocking themselves, laughing (or crying?) at the traditional Tet holiday culture that has been distorted to some extent by excessive superstition or disguised personal gain. These are just a couple of amusing anecdotes; there are countless other funny and sad stories about Tet, too many to recount.

Another new year is approaching, another season of hustle and bustle for everyone. I don't wish for lots of envelopes of money or to be the first visitor to someone's house this year; I just want to have a simple Tet holiday, free from worries about money, wealth, fame, and fortune. I wonder if my neighbors will let me sit peacefully eating sunflower seeds and watching TV this year, or if they'll be racking their brains wondering who will come to visit this Tet?

Hai Trieu (Email from Paris)