I paid a high price for marrying without knowing much about my husband.

Living with him, I realized how many bad things he had, even worse than drinking and gambling. He talked nonsense with a calm face, and did business without calculation.

I married my current husband when I didn't know much about him. As everyone said, I was pretty and polite, while he was ugly and dark. He was from the same hometown but moved to the South when he was young. One time he came back to visit me, he liked me and asked me if I would marry him. At that time, I just thought that marrying someone who didn't drink, gamble, or take drugs was enough, and that's where my mistake came from. After getting married, we both moved in with his aunt in the South, and it's been 10 years now. When I lived with him, I realized how many bad things he had, even worse than drinking and gambling. He bragged about everything under the sun, but he was calm and didn't know how to calculate his business.

The 10 years I lived with him were 10 years of being in debt. The first few years, because I was not used to it, I only sold small goods in front of the house. Then I had a child, and he went to work as a worker but never brought me any money. When I asked him, he just said that his employer had not paid him, and that he had no work recently. Two years passed like that and I did not receive a single penny of his salary. When my child was almost a year old, I borrowed money from my aunt to buy a shop at the market, and he quit his job as a worker and sat at the market with me. When I first bought it, it was just a small shop. Later, thanks to borrowing money, I tried to buy a bigger shop so that my husband and I could sell it together to earn more income. God also helped me sell goods and saved up a fair amount to buy land in the countryside. At that time, I was pregnant with my second child.

He and I argued, many times he cursed me in front of the market. He was a man of both mouth and heart, he also cursed the aunt who raised him for many years and once threatened to beat her because she borrowed money and she told me everything. Everyone around me felt sorry for me, they often said why didn't I leave her and why did I continue to live such a miserable life. At that time, I thought about how my parents were suffering, now I just tried to endure, not wanting my parents to know. Life was so miserable, but in return, I had my aunt and two children to comfort me. She was very good, I considered her as my mother. She was another reason why I couldn't break up with him because she lived alone, had no children, and her uncle had passed away many years ago.

The arguments became more and more frequent, but I still tried to save the situation by renting another place to do business, only seeing my husband at night. From then on, he borrowed money at high interest rates to buy goods for the shop to sell and played a lot of parties. One day, the interest, the party money, the interest gave birth to more interest, he bought goods at a high price and sold them at a low price. My mistake was that since renting a new place, I paid less attention to the old shop. I said I was the one who took care of the daily expenses and the children's education. After more than 3 years, the market where he was staying was dissolved and reopened, which was also the time when I was shocked by the debt. At that time, he was like a lost soul, bought a long sword to put at the bedside, and said that anyone who came to collect the debt would be killed.

Only those who have been in this situation can understand my sadness and disappointment at that time. Once again, I stood up to pay off my debt, sold the land I had accumulated before (she didn't know we sold it), but that still didn't solve the problem. I told him to tell me who he borrowed from so that I could calculate and pay it back gradually, but he still didn't say anything. Before he had paid off this or that, they came looking for him again. There were people he borrowed from that I couldn't have imagined: my sister, my friends, and her acquaintances. He borrowed from everyone who worked in the loan business. He never asked my opinion on anything he did.

Many times I wanted to give up everything, take my two children somewhere to live a poor life but everyone trusted me. He lived without a conscience, often yelled at the children, making them afraid. I have completely failed in this marriage, all efforts were in vain. What should I do when my strength is limited? Anyone who has been in this situation, please give me advice. I have paid off my debt for more than a year and plan to pay it off in 2-3 years. Through this, I also apologize to my parents, who raised me but I have not helped them at all, only making them sad.

According to VNE