I was scared when I accidentally read the secret letter from my fiancé.

I found out that he, the person who always thought he was loyal, loving and caring, loved a female colleague who was 6 years older than him, and had a family with two children.

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These days were truly the scariest in my life. I felt like I was in limbo, without support, empty, all my trust shattered by just one letter - something I should have never read. It's true what they say, other people's secrets are probably the biggest weapon that can hurt and bury all my hopes. I am an international student who just returned home after studying for a master's degree in the UK for more than a year. That was the longest time we've been apart, and now our love is over 6 years old. When we were still in college together, we promised to study abroad together, but because he failed a course, I went ahead (about half a year). Then, for reasons I don't know, I was the only one walking that path, and he decided not to go after so many promises.

The day I returned to the country, I actually gave up my plan to continue my studies because I wanted to be with him. I started my career in the South instead of the North where I was born for that reason. Everything would have been fine (because he also cared for me), if I hadn't read that letter. I discovered that the boyfriend I always thought was loyal, loving and caring for others was in love with a female colleague who was 6 years older than him, and who already had a family and two children. The greater the love, the greater the trust, the deeper the cut.

Just recently, when I read it all, for the first time, I couldn't shed tears, but my heart ached. All the words that he loved her so much, he never felt like he did anything wrong, never wanted to stop, moreover, he said that those were the months with the most emotional range of his life. I just wondered, amidst those loving emotions, did he ever think of me, the person who had been with him through 6 years with so many challenges. Wasn't that enough time when he replaced my name with another woman's name with those loving words.

We planned to get married next year, but now in my heart, maybe there is still love but the trust is gone. I am afraid to hear him say words of love to me, afraid to hear the intimate names we still use, afraid because those words are not only for me to hear, scared to the point of shivering, the words of a man with a heart too big for only me. He wants me to forgive him, saying the third time is the charm, this is only the second time (before that, he flirted with someone else when we were angry), I should give both of us and our relationship of more than 6 years another chance.

I was so angry, so hurt, but in this strange place, there was no one to share with, the only way I could do was to hurt myself to relieve. In the midst of all the confusion in my mind, there were times when I wanted to give him a chance, but what should I do when I couldn't force myself to believe, every word he said now seemed unreal to me. Please give me some advice, I really don't know who to find to share my feelings with.

According to VNE