With respect and love

(Baonghean) - On the occasion of Vietnam Family Day on June 28th, a reporter from Baonghean Newspaper had a conversation with Major Nguyen Thi Tran Thanh - President of the Women's Association of the Nghe An Border Guard.

- Ms. Nguyen Thi Tran Thanh, I'm curious to know a little about the family life of a female soldier who has achieved many outstanding accomplishments in the Border Guard of the province? Surely, within your family, you've always said, "Military orders are absolute"?

- My family is just like any other family. I may be tough and strong when I wear my military uniform, but when I return home, I am a wife and a mother. More than anyone, I understood this from a young age; my parents were also in the armed forces. I got married in 1999. My husband is an electrician for the Vinh Urban Infrastructure Management and Development Company. We have two children, a son (born in 2000) and a daughter (born in 2004). Our income depends on our salaries, so life is still quite difficult. But I always think that difficulties shouldn't make us compare ourselves to others or resent each other, but rather encourage us to work together and strive. Harmony and sharing among family members are extremely important. I am truly content with the life I have: a loving husband, and well-behaved, healthy, and academically successful children. And we all cherish our homes.

- It's considered fortunate for a woman to have a husband who understands, loves, and shares with her. May I ask, have you ever felt resentful or disadvantaged?

- Any husband or son whose wife or mother is a soldier will inevitably face disadvantages due to the nature of their work: "Busy all year round, unpredictable in all four seasons." First, there are strict schedules; if the child cries right before work, they have no choice but to watch the child cry, leaving the task of comforting and soothing to their husband. Then there are long business trips, sometimes lasting for weeks, during which the husband is responsible for childcare. Sometimes, I tell my husband I'll be home early, but because of the overwhelming workload, I get caught up in it, and by the time I finally get back to work, it's already late. When I get home, I see him waiting, but I know from his expression that he's extremely angry. So I have to be very gentle, explaining things to him and asking for his understanding. Once, I had a business trip to border outposts for almost 10 days, and I completely left the cooking, bathing, and childcare to my husband. On the last day, as I was leaving, I called my husband to let him know I'd be home around 9 PM. Along the way, the car broke down; the road was deserted, there was no phone signal, and the driver spent three to four hours fixing it. When I got home, it was almost dawn, the meal on the table was cold, the two children were getting ready for school, and my husband's expression and attitude seemed angrier than usual. Although I felt incredibly hurt, I managed to stay calm and skillfully explained the situation to him so he would understand.

I myself sometimes feel disadvantaged, but compared to the women in the performing arts team and the cryptography department, they are even more disadvantaged. Because sometimes the performing arts team goes to military posts or islands to perform for a whole month, and those working in cryptography have to be on night duty frequently. But they have strived to both fulfill their duties and build and maintain happy families.

- With 25 years in the military and 16 years as a wife and mother, she is not only a soldier who excels in her duties but also a woman who manages the household well. How does she manage to shoulder both responsibilities so effectively?

- First and foremost, I must set a goal for myself: to strive to perform my duties well at work while always creating conditions to care for and look after my family. To achieve this, I must organize my time and work scientifically and rationally, and manage relationships harmoniously. For example, on days off or when I have free time, I take the opportunity to go to the market and cook delicious meals to please my husband and children. During long holidays, I persuade my husband to take the children to visit their grandparents to strengthen their family ties, or to go out and enjoy relaxing moments together. This allows my husband and I to relax mentally, and the children to learn a lot from real-life experiences. When both sets of parents are ill, I must arrange to visit and care for them to strengthen family bonds.

Equally important is the empathy and understanding of family members, including husband, children, and sometimes even in-laws. To achieve this, you must clearly explain the nature of your work, the hardships, worries, and concerns you face. Especially with your husband, you should frequently confide in him and always consider him the pillar of the family, your support in all circumstances. By doing so, he will understand and be willing to share everything, from work and daily worries to obligations to both sets of parents, and especially the care and upbringing of the children. Respect and love are the strong bonds that connect everyone in the family; they are the warm fire that makes you always want to return home.

Thank you very much, Major Nguyen Thi Tran Thanh, for this conversation!

PV(Perform)