Rebellious children are due to loneliness

Much of a child's stubbornness comes from psychological reactions, mainly a feeling of loneliness.

Many parents always feel frustrated and helpless when faced with their children's rebellious behavior, trying to find ways to deal with it, even punishing them. In fact, most of children's stubbornness comes from psychological reactions, in which the feeling of loneliness is the foundation that makes children use rebellious actions as a form of resistance.

1. First of all, you need to understand correctly two characteristics of child maturity:

Population:

Children must grow up and develop in a large community, not just with their parents or family members. In particular, adults cannot replace the role of children's peers. Friendship is an indispensable "nutrition" in the process of children's growth.

Practicality:

Through group activities, children can understand more than the theory they are taught. Child psychologist M.Claudius Kelantan (Philippines) said: "A child with poor social skills has a much bigger disability than not being able to go to university."

Many parents will argue that: Even though they are exposed to the community, children are still rebellious and lack empathy for others, often bullying friends, animals or destroying things.

In fact, the problem behind children's rebellious behavior must first be considered in the inadequate connection between parents and children. In the small but closest collective environment, which is the family, children who lack a sense of security will inevitably develop rebellious reactions from here. The mood of children who do not have a close bond with their mothers is often insecure, loses the ability to build relationships and is always mentally unstable. In addition, the busyness and laconic nature of adults in modern life also makes children closed and unable to express their true feelings.

Nurturing positive social skills in children is not only for intellectual development and health but also necessary equipment for children's survival in the future. Kelantan said: "A successful manager only needs 15% from professional knowledge, while social skills need 85%". When children have good social relationships, get along with friends, teachers and people around them, they will feel accepted, loved, and become happier, more confident and open.

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2. So how to deal with a rebellious child who is lonely?

“Ignore” in moderation and at the right time:

If gentle advice is not effective when your child is acting up, you can temporarily ignore him or her. This action can make your child feel less scrutinized and criticized, and he or she can adjust his or her mood.

Lead children to good behavior:

From a behavioral treatment perspective, if a child has a bad behavior in one area, you need to think of a way to help the child have a positive behavior in another area. When the child sees that he or she has done well and is encouraged and praised, the child's psychology will "reinforce" these behaviors more strongly. The child begins to compare the "results" and "consequences" between the things he or she has done well and the things he or she has not done well, thereby gradually reducing the rebelliousness in the previous negative aspects.

Help children "release" excess energy:

Lack of exercise can lead to mental confinement. Therefore, you need to plan for your child to exercise regularly, both to ensure good health, limit diseases, and help your child have the opportunity to release psychological pressure. In addition, the habit of reading, playing musical instruments, drawing... although not sweating, helps children calm down and feel relaxed.

If possible, let your children have pets:

Pets are also necessary little friends for children. Petting, playing with, and feeding them is the process of nurturing a child's loving heart. Children who live peacefully with animals in the house are often very docile, gentle, and less agitated.

Help children build social relationships:

When children are rebellious from a feeling of loneliness, in their hearts this rebelliousness is a way to be satisfied, to attract attention and vent their depression to anyone they think their actions are caught. Therefore, no matter how busy you are, you should take the time to take your children out, meet and play with friends of the same age, even children need younger and older friends to enrich their lives.

According to VNE