Hang and her husband dated for 8 months before getting married. During that time, the receptionist at a media company in Dong Da, Hanoi was very proud of her tall, polite boyfriend who often cared for and bought things for his girlfriend.

After getting married, Hang discovered that her husband owed the bank 400 million VND, and had to pay 6 million VND in principal and interest each month. His salary was 10 million VND per month, so after paying off the debt, he kept it for pocket money and had no money left to give to his wife. Hang asked where this debt came from, and her husband said that it was because he had previously lost money playing the stock market, plus he had spent money on buying a scooter and preparing for a grand wedding.

"I was extremely disappointed because I always thought that after getting married, my husband and I would strive to buy our own house. But in this situation, that was just a dream. Just getting married and seeing my husband made me feel depressed," Hang confided.

Photo illustration: US News Money.

Also falling into the situation of knowing she had to bear debt after getting married, Minh Tuyet (Gia Lam, Hanoi) was shocked when she heard this news not from her husband.

Tuyet said her husband was the youngest son in a family of three brothers, both of whose parents were farmers. When she went to her husband's hometown in the suburbs of Hanoi to meet his family, she stood staring at the massive gate of his house. The three-story house had seven rooms even though only the two of them and the eldest brother's family were there.

She was proud every time she went out to eat with friends, her boyfriend always paid. When she went to look for a job, he even asked if she wanted to work in a government agency, he was willing to spend money and use his connections to get it for her. Having passed the exam to enter a large corporation, she refused but felt grateful. Tuyet's parents were quite fond of their future son-in-law because every time he visited his home, he brought gifts for the adults and children.

Two months after the wedding, on the day she returned home for the anniversary, Tuyet was shocked to hear her father-in-law announce that the house cost 800 million to build last year, the eldest brother paid 400 million, and the remaining two couples contributed 200 million because everyone had a share in it. The whole family had agreed on this beforehand, Tuyet had just returned and didn't know so he told her again. Currently, this money was borrowed from the bank, so if Tuyet and her husband didn't have the money to pay it off right away, they would have to pay interest every month.

"I sat there like a log. We had just started working for a few years and were renting a house in Hanoi. Where did we get that much money? The bigger problem was why my husband didn't say anything," Tuyet sighed.

According to Master of Psychology Le Thi Minh Hoa, Institute of Psychology and Legal Education (HCMC), when in love, many young girls only look at the appearance, feel pampered and secure when their boyfriend spends lavishly, or gives gifts to them and their family.

They forget to learn more about the core values ​​of life, views on money, how to spend, save... of men. And when married, having to face the daily problem of making a living, many couples have conflicts because the husband has the habit of using money to show off and has little responsibility for his wife and children.

Worse, because of this habit of showing off, he may fall into debt and try to hide his love life.

Ms. Minh Hoa believes that to understand a man's spending habits and real financial capabilities, girls need to spend enough time getting to know him, talk frankly, and observe their lover's daily lifestyle.

Look at how he treats people around him, from family, friends, colleagues to waiters in restaurants..., not just look at how he cares for you. Don't be afraid to bring up problems, hypothetical situations to "test" him. Make a clear distinction between him using money to show off and his thoughtfulness and genuine concern for you.

According to psychologists, money has a huge impact on marital happiness. Therefore, if you are serious about your relationship, you need to be honest with each other about your income, spending habits, and future plans.

Most of the cases where debt is discovered after marriage are due to the couple not having a frank discussion or one party deliberately concealing it. Many girls today are still hesitant to discuss financial matters with their boyfriends and are afraid of being judged as pragmatic. However, sometimes, because the debt is related to their own or their family's bad qualities and weaknesses such as gambling, wasteful spending..., the people involved try to cover it up.

According to VNE