Vietnam hybrid cars...
(Baonghean)While chatting with some foreign friends, they jokingly asked, "Does your country have airplanes yet, or do you still travel by train?" I was a little annoyed: "Why wouldn't we? My national airline is called Vietnam Airlines, oh wait, Vietnam Airlines..." See, I accidentally blurted it out wrong, but it wasn't my fault, basically...
Last time I went back to Vietnam, I visited some relatives in Saigon, so I flew. The check-in counter was quite arrogant, because I have a Vietnam Airlines VIP card, so I got to check in business class without having to queue, haha. Even after completing all the procedures, there were still 30 minutes left, so I languished in the waiting area. But I didn't complain; there were so many people still queuing like they were receiving ration coupons back in the old days. The check-in counter staff must be working like superheroes just to get everyone on board on time. But after another 30 minutes, the line was still long and the boarding gate was still closed. I started getting impatient, so I cautiously approached a flight attendant with a pretty face (though she looked so sullen, it was quite pitiful): "Excuse me, aren't we allowed to board yet?"
Not yet, sir, the aircraft inspection isn't finished. Please wait a little longer. A pretty girl with a gentle voice would be willing to wait any amount of time, but this girl's face was all wrinkled up like she'd lost her rice ration book; she looked utterly awful. I trudged back to my seat and waited, dozing off for a while before hearing the announcement to board. When I opened my eyes, I saw a huge crowd of people jostling and pushing, it was terrifying. Luckily, I had a VIP card, so I calmly walked in. Otherwise, queuing like that would have taken forever...
The bus to the plane had just stopped, and I just wanted to jump out to get some fresh air because it was so crowded and hot, it was suffocating. But then, the girls in front of me were leisurely pulling out their iPhones (or maybe Hiphones) 4 (without the S) to take pictures of the tiny plane, exclaiming, "Wow, what a beautiful plane, what a huge plane!" Because their planes were so big, finding a seat was a real struggle, with people practically trampling over each other. People coming from the back door were pushing against the flow towards the front of the plane, while those coming from the front door were rushing towards the back, both sides moving like a flood, not bothering to check if anyone was in front of them. Everyone was carrying huge backpacks and handbags, their heads down, leaving me constantly startled, afraid of getting hit in the face by a backpack (probably as heavy as Mrs. Tuyen's ammunition box during the war against America). Eventually, everyone went back to their seats, the plane prepared for takeoff, and then the entire plane was filled with the sound of ringing telephones.
A woman sitting opposite me was loudly chatting with her husband, her voice full of regret: "I was so busy buying mangoes I almost missed my flight. If I had known Vietnam Airlines offered this many kilograms, I would have bought a few more. What a waste!" A young man, looking quite flashy and stylish with a Korean-style haircut, kept fidgeting, constantly getting up to look out the window at the runway. Poor old man sitting in front of him was being shaken around by the young man's constant rocking; it would be a miracle if he didn't get cervical spondylosis on his way home. A flight attendant asked a passenger sitting near the emergency exit: "Sir, have you ever sat in this seat before?" - "Oh, I know it all! I've flown with Vietnam Airlines my whole life, I've worn out the plane!" - he replied, then turned to his wife, who was sitting next to him, and asked, "But what the heck is an emergency exit, honey?"
And so, those two hours on the plane felt like 20, because it was so much more exhausting than the more than 10-hour flight from France. People were talking louder than the plane's loudspeakers, children were crying incessantly, the sounds of fruit-slicing games echoed like Hong Kong martial arts movies, selfies were being snapped, people were vomiting – the whole plane was like a chaotic marketplace, with the faint smell of unwashed feet from a passenger casually snoring with his feet propped up on the seat. I tried to doze off for a bit to ease my headache, but strangely, I couldn't find the seat adjustment button. I asked the flight attendant, and she said, "Your seat is in front of the emergency exit, so it can't be lowered." I just muttered curses under my breath at the check-in lady, wondering what kind of VIP card she'd given me to make it impossible to even sleep.
Oh, Vietnam Airlines! The airline is unprofessional in terms of timing and service attitude, and the passengers lack understanding, awareness of public transportation regulations, and respect for those around them. No wonder I keep mistaking Vietnam Airlines for a Vietnamese hybrid vehicle, because it's so messy and makeshift. But generally speaking, flying is still better than traveling by hybrid vehicle because only on a plane can mothers and women comfortably change their babies' diapers, dropping them right in the aisle, giving lucky passengers like me a memorable souvenir of a memorable flight...
Hai Trieu (Email from Paris)
