Tran Lap's wife: 'I am helpless, in tears because I love him'

A few days after Tran Lap passed away, on the altar on the first floor, the family prepared fruits and cakes for his final journey.

Ms. Ngo Thi Mai Hoa, Tran Lap's wife, sat absent-mindedly by the door. She was thin and pale, all her energy had been devoted to taking care of her husband and worrying about his funeral. A few high school friends came to visit her and helped her with necessary chores. Everything was unfinished for her, too much to handle on her own.

Vague premonitions

Ms. Hoa sat down and flipped through each family photo. Each photo was filled with laughter from the four of them. She said in pain: “Here, my husband was so strong just a moment ago, but now he has passed away.” Then she pointed to a photo of the four of them traveling abroad last year. The trip was meaningful and very fun, but at one point, while taking photos together, Tran Lap told his wife: “Next time, go alone, I won’t go anymore.” That seemingly random sentence, now recalled, suddenly felt like a bad omen.

Tran Lap's family on a trip to Hong Kong.

Tran Lap had been experiencing stomach pain and digestive symptoms since last year. Although his wife often urged him to see a doctor, he still subjectively thought it was a common digestive disorder. Friends who knew about the situation often bought digestive medicine from abroad for him to take, which helped for a while, then the pain returned. When the pain became unbearable, he went to the doctor and found that the cancer had progressed to the final stage.

Ms. Hoa said that before going to the hospital, he spent several days looking through all the family photos and his personal photos, choosing them by theme, printing them, going to the store to buy frames, and hanging them all up on the first floor. “I was also a bit surprised and even happy because I hadn’t touched the photos for a long time. Looking at the photo frames, I felt like I saw a whole horizon of memories of the family, of the children and parents. Those photos, coincidentally, were the last things he wanted to keep for us, because after that, there were endless days in the hospital with tests, chemotherapy, trips to the South and the North to find doctors and medicine to save him, even if it was just a small ray of hope. Strangely enough, when taking photos with his family, with his wife and children, Lap always smiled brightly. Work and life are stressful, but next to his children, Lap is always happy and responsible. His independence, his ability to overcome and face difficulties, his self-respect for life, have always been an example for me and my children,” she shared.

The eldest son is only in 6th grade, but his mother said, "he is very brave." "He never cries in front of his mother. When his mother turns away, his tears well up. I'm afraid he can't bear this pain, so I've sent him to my brother's house these past few days. He feels sorry for his mother being home alone and wants to go back to her. But I still want him to focus on his studies. At home, there are people coming and going, and without his father, he will be heartbroken."

"You couldn't say anything to me at the last minute."

Wedding photo of the musician couple.

Tran Lap's family house is quite simple compared to his fame. Ms. Hoa said that this house is not hers but borrowed from her mother. Tran Lap has worked and lived his whole life with the profession, but Rock music is picky about listeners, plus he is straightforward, outspoken and doesn't like to be subservient, so they never think about being as rich as this person or as luxurious as that person. With money, he invests in music, buys guitars and big motorbikes to satisfy his own interests, while she, a woman who is content with her family, takes care of the children so that Lap has time for music, for friends, for his passion. She and her children are proud of him in their own way. Ms. Hoa absolutely respects Tran Lap's personality, even his office on the fourth floor is a private corner that she has never touched. His computer and phone have passwords, she also doesn't ask about them. “For a man like Mr. Lap, there must be some pretty girls, there must be other girls who are crazy about him, I am not angry with him, maybe if not, he could not compose. He can write many songs for some beautiful girls, but he gives me two lovely, healthy children and a lot of laughter in the family,” she said.

She is quite calm when recalling the past, but when talking about the days of fighting the disease together, she often sheds tears. “When radiation and chemotherapy were not effective for him, we went to the South to see a traditional medicine specialist with the highest treatment regimen for cancer. For nearly a month, we stayed at a pagoda, chanting Buddhist scriptures every day, eating vegetarian food according to the macrobiotic diet, and I followed him. Until even that method was no longer effective, we returned to Hanoi. When he was lying on the hospital bed, he only craved some pho or vermicelli soup, but his body could not absorb it to eat normally, so I went and bought it and fed it to him. Even in the most dangerous and painful moments, he never complained, he just kept his lips tightly closed to suppress the pain inside. When his body was swollen due to pleural effusion, he felt everything and said: 'I feel like my body is getting stiffer'. I felt so sorry for him that I cried. I helplessly watched my husband fall into a coma.”

With great difficulty, the wife - whom Tran Lap calls a "warrior" - was able to recount her husband's last moments. “For him, this departure was something he was not prepared for, not ready for. He had too many unfinished things, the children were too young. He loved his children who were too young to be able to face a life without a father. I myself was too small in this life, he could not say anything to me in the last moments. We were just silent to feel each other, I held his hand, feeling him leaving this temporary world, to go to a far away place. When he returned home, he gradually faded away. He was like that, even knowing that he would be lost, that he would leave, he did not say anything to his wife about the burial. He only told his friends to bury him forever, do not exhume or move him somewhere else. And we will follow his wishes.”

According to VNE