3 good qualities parents teach their children that can easily backfire

Don't teach your children to be humble, teach them to appreciate their own worth.

Many cultures have a tradition of praising modesty and humility - Vietnam is among them.

However, modern life has changed too much. With a living environment that requires competition and the will to succeed, those who are too humble find it difficult to succeed in life.

In most fairy tales and moral books, there are often “despicable” characters who suffer bad consequences because of pride. It is true that pride is not good at all, but pride is very necessary for self-development.

Parents often neglect to nurture pride in their children, focusing instead on encouraging humility and criticizing arrogance.

According to psychological researchers, the right way is to help children distinguish between arrogance and pride, building a legitimate pride in themselves.

Arrogance is when a person has a false illusion about his or her own abilities, which is completely different from feeling legitimate pride in specific achievements and challenges he or she has overcome.

The ability to take legitimate pride is crucial to a child's development. Jessica Tracy, professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia (Canada), author of "Pride: The Secret of Success” have shown that people with legitimate pride have better social relationships, high levels of self-confidence, and achieve more ideal personal achievements.

Don't teach your children to share unconditionally, teach them to set the right limits.

Whenever guests come to the house and bring children, mothers often remind their children: “Give your toys to your friend”, even though the child (the host's child) is completely unwilling to share his toys.

Some people ask the question: If you put yourself in the shoes of a child, for example, you are using your phone in the park and suddenly a stranger asks to borrow your phone, would you be willing to give it to that person?

The answer is definitely no.

So, it is unreasonable for adults to always ask children to share. This approach is even counterproductive. When children are forced to share everything they have without hesitation or concern, they will not be able to refuse.

On the other hand, it is more likely that your child also expects others to give him their toys and food. This wrong way of thinking will lead to unreasonable and annoying demands.

Parents should guide their children to play together, analyze for them how to cooperate with each other instead of considering the new kid as a troublemaker. Although this is much more difficult than forcing children to give up their toys, if done, you will help your children acquire important skills such as expressing emotions, cooperating, sharing, negotiating...

Not valuing money is an outdated view.

“Children don’t know anything about money” is a common saying of many parents. This way of speaking unintentionally makes children not care about, or even respect, money.

Children need to be trained in the skills of saving money and spending wisely when they are 5-6 years old. At this time, the ability to recognize numbers has formed, children can recognize the value of money, and help their parents buy small items.

You can also have a piggy bank to save money to buy your favorite toy. Learning to delay desire and patiently save up to buy the toy you like is the first lesson to help your child understand the value of money.

Instead of dismissing children’s interest in money, parents should guide their children to understand the true value of money. Don’t overestimate, but also don’t underestimate the value of money – this is a lesson that never comes too early.