Talking to your children about money

My daughter is 11 years old this year and she is the owner of a “treasure” – as she calls her savings, with 6 zeros – quite a lot compared to her peers. This “treasure” is accumulated from many sources of income: monthly pocket money from her parents; annual academic achievement bonus; royalties (she is participating in writing articles for youth and children’s newspapers); lucky money…

My husband and I taught our child the first lessons about money very early, around 3-4 years old, through games, scenes, and shopping trips with his mother... When he turned 6, celebrating his entrance into first grade, he was very happy when his parents agreed to let him keep all of his money from the above sources of income, and he had full authority to deal with that money in any way he wanted - as long as he reported honestly and clearly explained the reasons for spending the money to his parents. We also made it clear to him that this reporting would end when he turned 18. At that time, we hoped that he would be completely financially free in the sense of being proactive in both income and expenditure.

By chance, when sharing this story with friends and family, my husband and I encountered many opposing opinions, even criticism. Most of them thought that we were the model of parents who were formalistic, formalistic, and tried to teach their children in the “Western” way, and that this would only spoil our children and not be of any use. “Who would let a child hold money?”; “What does he know at such a young age, so why give him money to keep?”; “Be careful, watch out if your child goes to school and gets scammed, and he takes all of it away”; “Having money spoils people, and then you spend all day shopping, spending it on online games, just you wait and see”…

Thinking back, what people advise is partly right, but that right based on general fear is not the standard that my husband and I think we should follow. From a personal perspective, we think it is never too early to teach children about money. Understanding the value of money and learning how to spend money is just as important as learning how to save money and earn money. This should definitely be a compulsory and necessary course for every child.

Most of us are crazy about money. Money has a magical power, even the most indifferent person, when hearing about money, must perk up his ears. That's why there is a folk saying: What can't be bought with money can be bought with a lot of money! Sounds crude, but it's true. Money connects the intestines, is the main cause of sadness, happiness, joy, and suffering of mankind. People are honored and disgraced because of money, respected or despised by the world because of money. Money is inanimate but has unparalleled power. Money is a fairy but money is also silver. Money is valuable but also dangerous. Adults know this clearly, so why not teach children early so that they can understand and nurture the concept of money properly? If we don't know how to control money, money will control us.

My husband and I taught our children that money is a means, not an end. Many people spend their whole lives struggling and being unhappy because of money because they confuse the two. Money is used to build a house but not to create a warm family home; money is used to buy comfortable furniture but cannot buy peace and satisfaction; money is used to buy delicious food to fill the refrigerator but cannot buy the feeling of happiness when having a warm family meal; money is used to buy positions and power, even to avoid prison, but in the end, it cannot buy forgiveness from the court of conscience and karma...

When teaching children about money, the first lesson must be the lesson of spending money through screening, delaying gratification, and temporary satisfaction. Spending money is easy but also very difficult. Children go to a store, look at a teddy bear, like it so much they want to buy it right away; but parents teach their children to slow down a bit, think carefully about how many bears they already have at home, what is the difference between this bear and the bears at home in terms of design, color, material, size..., if it is different, is it worth buying more, and if it is not much different, should they buy more? That process of stopping for a moment to think gradually creates in children the habit of considering spending money on things that are really necessary, avoiding waste. When children know how to spend money well, parents will suggest and guide them to effective channels to save money. My husband and I believe that when a child understands money correctly, knows how to spend money, and save money well, then the final lesson of making money may not need to be taught because they will know it themselves.

These days, talking to children about money is becoming more relevant as shocking incidents occur one after another: a nanny kidnaps and murders a 2-year-old child for ransom; a suspect kills and dismembers a 17-year-old beauty pageant runner-up because of a debt of 50 million VND; a person is stabbed to death because of a debt over a drinking party; a series of actors and models… advertise falsely for money… That’s how scary it is! Money, if placed in the role of a servant, will be a good servant; but if raised to the role of a master, it will be a bad master. Therefore, it is never too early to talk to children about money, because if you don’t teach them, someone else will replace you later, such as creditors, police, and even scammers. And the price will be too high…