4 seemingly harmless things parents do that have extremely negative impacts on their children

Many pieces of advice parents give with the desire to bring the best to their children do not have the effect that parents expect, or even the opposite.

1. Try your best to have a good future

A recent study found that when we worry too much about something, it can lead to negative emotions such as anger, fatigue and stress. When children's minds are constantly trying to focus on the future - from getting good grades in class to the pressure to achieve even higher results... they become more and more anxious and stressed.

And when anxiety acts as a driving force, stress becomes chronic and long-term and will weaken the child's health and intelligence, such as reducing attention and memory. Therefore, parents need to consider when often forcing their children to focus too much on finding achievements and high scores, which can, on the contrary, reduce learning performance.

Children learn better and feel happier if they are mentally comfortable. And when children feel happy, they can learn faster, think creatively and solve problems more easily.

Studies show that happiness makes you up to 12% more productive. Positive emotions also make kids less stressed, and help them overcome challenges and setbacks more quickly and get back on track. This is definitely a good thing when kids are focused on the goals they have at hand.

2. Constantly push children to overcome stress

What advice do parents usually give when they see their children showing signs of nervousness after exams or races? “Stress is inevitable, try to overcome it.”

What we need to tell our children right now is, “Forget about grades, relax and have fun.” The anxiety and stress of grades, along with the pressure to do better at school, can sometimes be overwhelming. There have even been unfortunate suicides, especially in schools that demand high achievement.

For adults, when stressed, we can use some substances such as caffeine, alcohol, sleeping pills or go out with friends to balance and adjust our mood. But children are not like us, they are under more pressure without being able to relieve stress, so how can we help them balance?

Instead of forcing your child to overcome anxiety, teach them the skills they need to be more resilient in the face of stressful events. Give them a break from stress by letting go of grades, competing to have fun the way they want, breathing in fresh air or doing yoga. These will help your child’s nervous system “rest and digest” instead of continuing to “fight.”

3. Always remind your children: Study, child.

Sometimes parents should let their children play and do nothing. Children should regularly participate in extracurricular activities and go out, instead of sitting indoors and…studying. Nothing makes children happier than being excited, having fun, finding new experiences and burning off energy after school or on weekends.

Besides, studies show that our brains are more likely to come up with great ideas when we are not focused on studying but when we are relaxing or playing in nature. So instead of scheduling a packed schedule for children to study, we should spend more time with children playing, immersing in nature and animals.

4. Often force children to develop their strengths and win

Experts, meanwhile, advise: Let your child make mistakes and learn from failure. Parents tend to define their children by their strengths and often like to brag about their accomplishments. Many parents feel proud when introducing their child as a "math prodigy," an "orator," or an "artist."

But research by Carol Dweck at Stanford University shows that this mindset actually keeps kids stuck in place, and makes them less likely to try new things they might not be good at.

For example, when a child is praised for being good at sports, he will want to ignore his strengths and try to join the drama club or chess club... In addition, being constantly praised and emphasized by parents will make children feel more anxious, pressured and will be discouraged when facing failure or challenges.

Our brains are programmed to learn new things. And the better it is when we can face, absorb and learn from mistakes from a young age. Instead, identify your child’s strengths, teach them that they can really learn anything, as long as they try, let them know that it’s okay to fail, make mistakes…

According to research by Dweck, author of children's books, after lessons of failure, children will be more optimistic and even more enthusiastic when facing challenges and know what they need to do to improve the situation.

According to Danviet