6 signs to know if you are an introvert or anxious?

The world is embracing introverts more than ever. But how do you tell the difference between an introvert and someone suffering from a condition called social anxiety?

Introversion is very different from shyness, and shyness is often a colloquial term for social anxiety. Here are some signs to help you distinguish between the two:

1. Introversion is inborn; social anxiety is acquired.

Introversion is a personality type—something you're born with. Introverts are energized by being alone or in a small group of trusted people.

Social anxiety, on the other hand, is often “acquired.” Life experiences convince you that people are judging you, and you begin to believe that you are not capable or worthy of doing what you set out to do.

2. Avoidance makes you more afraid

People with social anxiety will skip social gatherings. They will leave voicemail messages or leave early.

They also covertly avoid socializing: for example, they'll show up at a party, but avoid eye contact, spend most of the time looking at their phones, or find other ways to not be present.

3. People with social anxiety can be extroverts too.

You get energy from other people, but you’re also afraid to interact with them. You really want to have lunch with your coworkers, but you’re afraid they won’t want you there. Or you want to host a dinner party, but you’re afraid you’ll be judged as inconsiderate.

This is really complicated because you feel uncomfortable being alone and also uncomfortable being with people. It's a no-win situation.

4. Introverts enjoy alone time, anxious people don't.

For introverts, being alone is necessary and refreshing. They find comfort in reading a book in a quiet room without other people around. But if you have social anxiety and you stay alone to avoid socializing, you may feel regretful or disappointed.

Avoidance can make someone feel, “Phew, glad I don't have to talk to anyone." You may feel less anxious, but you don't feel satisfied.

5. People with social anxiety worry a lot about what other people think of them.

Introverts don’t worry about how they appear. They can be themselves and not worry about “revealing” their flaws or shortcomings. This has nothing to do with achievement or perfectionism.

For people with social anxiety, social situations become an activity with very high standards. They often tell themselves: "I can't leave any gaps in the conversation," "I always have something interesting to say," or "I have a responsibility to make this person happy."

You spend so much time and energy trying to impress and suppress your anxiety that you have little energy and attention left to focus on the conversation and what others are saying.

6. People with social anxiety often resort to “safety behaviors.”

People with social anxiety often think they don't have social skills. They might say to themselves, "I'm always awkward," or "I can't talk normally."

In fact, they are actually quite good at navigating social situations. They will steer the conversation to things they feel comfortable with, or ask the people they are talking to questions to distract them.

But they also often resort to "safety behaviors" — avoiding eye contact, speaking softly, smiling all the time, being very charming — to artificially reduce their anxiety.

All of that takes up so much of their thoughts that they don't have much attention left to devote to conversation.

How to deal with

If you are an introvert, simply accepting your “quiet self” is not something that needs treatment or personality change. However, if anxiety is holding you back from living the life you want, then that is a problem.

Follow these 3 steps:

Introduce yourself to situations you're afraid of: Talk to that co-worker you've been avoiding or attend a gathering you usually skip. You don't have to jump right in the pool, just take it one step at a time.

Ditch the “safety behaviors”: Don’t avoid eye contact or mumble. Trying to suppress anxiety is like trying to drown a ball. It will bounce back.

Turn your attention outward: Instead of self-monitoring and focusing inward… listen to the conversation. Whatever you fear most likely won’t come true. And even if a professional does come along, you can still handle it.

According to Dantri