Overprotective parents: Turn their children into 'greenhouse plants'
“Travel to know here and there/Stay home with your mother and you will know when you will be wise” - The teachings of our grandparents from ancient times, when thinking back now, are even more true.
“My children are my own flesh and blood”, so every parent loves their child, wants to protect them from the “lurking dangers” of life. But how can parents hold their child in their arms forever? The child will grow up, and the parents will grow old. If there is no preparation for the child to stumble into life, how can parents expect their child to walk confidently?
The process of growing up from birth to adulthood of any species requires learning and experiencing to learn skills that are often instinctive.
Just like baby birds hatching from eggs, in the first months, they constantly chirp for food, and the mother bird feeds them with her mouth. Then gradually the mother bird uses a “trick” to teach the baby birds to fly: every time she feeds the baby birds, the mother bird does not stand close to the baby birds as before, but stands further away so that the baby birds have to lean further and further, sometimes even falling to the ground.
Sometimes, the mother bird even actively pushes her baby bird out of the nest. In this way, the mother bird helps the baby bird learn to fly. One day, the baby bird grows up, has enough feathers and wings to fly away to many places.
If the mother bird only keeps her chicks in the nest, how can they one day fly high and far with their own wings?
The little birds teach their young in such a “strategic” way, but we humans often tend to keep our children in the house, pampering them for fear that they will be in danger when they go out into society.
Every parent wants the best for their children, and everything they do is for their children’s good. But often what parents think is good for their children is actually harmful to them, and that harm becomes more evident when the children grow up.
It is abnormal for parents to keep their children under their control, it will affect the normal development of the child.
Indian spiritual master Osho (1931-1990) taught: “Allow your children to grow up in freedom. Of course, there will be many risks, but what can we do? Life is a collection of risks, every development is a risk.
Don't overprotect them, or they will become hothouse plants—almost useless. Let them be free. Let them fight for their lives, let them grow, and they will always thank you. You will always be happy because you will see them alive later.”
Parents want their children to avoid conflicts and struggles so that they can be safe, but the result is not like that. According to Swiss child psychologist Jean Piaget (1896-1980), conflict is an essential part of the process of mental development.
According to Jean Piaget, through “wars” with friends and parents, children learn how to adapt to the world and develop strategies for dealing with difficult problems. Children who try to avoid conflict at all costs, or who are overprotected by their parents, end up with social and mental disabilities.
According to Dantri
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