"A hundred years of love"

(Baonghean) - Their marriage has lasted nearly 90 years. All those years together have been filled with ups and downs, hardships, and when asked about the milestones of their lives, they remember the Tet holidays of the past with so many memories...

The couple who “lived happily ever after” were Mr. Cao Vien (born in 1908) and Mrs. Vu Thi Hai (born in 1914) in Hamlet 2, Dien Hoa Commune, Dien Chau District. When we visited, the old man was busy in the kitchen lighting the stove to boil water, while the old woman leaned against the bed, watching him work. Mrs. Vu Thi Hai spoke slowly, her health was weaker than his, her hearing was much worse, in recent years she could only walk around the house and could no longer do anything to help him or her children and grandchildren. “Usually, my youngest daughter, who is only 60 years old, comes over to sweep and help, but now she is busy, so he does it himself.” When we suggested going to the kitchen to help him boil water, she brushed it off: “He just likes to do housework by himself, he doesn’t want to bother anyone. Working is also a way for him to relax…”.

Mr. Cao Vien and Mrs. Vu Thi Hai.

According to the Vietnamese way of calculating age (including the age of the grandmother), this year, Mrs. Vu Thi Hai is 102 years old. Old age, weak health, the wrinkles of time are clearly visible on her body, but her face and way of talking exude a kind, clear-headed, and witty look. The conversation was quite… noisy, because we had to speak very loudly for her to hear clearly. Both she and her husband are from Phuong Lich village, Dien Hoa commune. Phuong Lich village is famous for weaving Bui fabric, which is mentioned in the song: "Living Bui fabric, dying buried in gold heart". Not to mention, Mrs. Vu Thi Hai herself was a famous skillful weaver of Phuong Lich village in the past, weaving large pieces of fabric to sell at Hom market. She said: "There is a type of woven fabric, dry cocoon fabric, cheap, only one color of indigo or brown for workers to wear, stiff and rough. The other type is more expensive and dyed in many colors, this type is rarely made because at that time we were poor, few people bought it". Bui fabric from Phuong Lich village is famous for being both durable and beautiful, made by the skillful hands of pretty girls in the village. These two reasons have made the monthly Hom market in Phuong Lich bustling, especially during Tet...

Mr. Cao Vien slowly carried the kettle up, his back bent, his steps somewhat limping due to old age bone and joint disease. He carefully reattached his hearing aid, then cleared his throat and asked: “Uncles, why are you here?” We told him about this visit, and asked to chat a little with them about the daily life of the elderly. He was humorous, smiling and said: “My wife and I have been married for a long time, gave birth to 8 children but only raised 7. Now we have a total of 35 grandchildren, 55 great-grandchildren, and are about to have a few more…”. The two of them now live together, while their children and grandchildren have all started their own families and are busy with work and study. Usually, the youngest daughter, Mrs. Cao Thi Que (1955), does the shopping and cooking, if she is busy, she sends the neighbors to the market to buy food and cooks it herself. "Mrs. Hai's hands and feet are shaking, but I can still cook" - the old man said.

At the age of 17, the tall and muscular Cao Vien joined the labor force, together with the youth of Phuong Lich village and neighboring villages, building dikes, opening roads, and actively participating in patriotic movements. When he was 23 years old, he returned home to inform his family and bring betel and areca nuts to ask for the hand of Vu Thi Hai, who was 18 years old. Life was poor, with little land and many children. The old woman stayed home to weave cloth, while the old man and his friend went to work as tile makers in Luong. He said that they were so poor that Tet was just like any other day, his parents and 7 children slurped cassava porridge and sweet potato porridge for 3 days of Tet, only trying to decorate the family altar, with a pair of banh chung with a little bit of scallion oil. Then he absentmindedly remembered the famine of 1945, at that time, the couple had four children together: “We were so hungry that we didn’t even have bran to eat. The whole village was like that, not just my family. That Tet, we went to pick up strips of sweet potatoes in the fields, then chopped them up, added a little salt to make a New Year’s Eve dish…” The memories of a centenarian were like a hidden mist, he used Tet as a way to mark milestones in his life. “I still remember the Independence Day in 1975, when I was finishing roofing the house, I heard the whole village beating the gong loudly. Everyone shouted: “We won, we won!” and then we knew our country was independent… That year, the village celebrated Tet very big”.

In Mr. Cao Vien's stories, the times of poverty were clearly shown, but he repeatedly said that, no matter how poor, he and his wife still taught their children to live properly, "starve to be clean, tear to be fragrant". Then, he reached for the cane in the corner, hobbled to bed and searched for the long poem he wrote to teach his children and grandchildren about discipline and family traditions. He titled the poem "Educating Children and Grandchildren", sending his wishes to the next generation. Without needing glasses, Mr. Cao Vien held the paper and read aloud:

“… Even though the fields are good on the surface.

Also have to keep the profession in hand.

One skill, one life of glory.

If you are lazy, you will surely be poor…”.

…“Stop being so ungrateful to life.

A heart that is loyal and kind will be blessed for a long time.

Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet.

Don't let the past stay in your heart.

Four seasons of spring breeze...

Mr. Cao Vien's voice was clear and cheerful, his bright eyes occasionally flashed with a cheerful humor. He proactively suggested that, why talk about the past, now we should talk about the future! Then he was proud of his nearly hundred children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren who are always busy working and studying, some of whom are studying and working abroad... Then, the old man held the old woman's hand, looking at her with affection: "I am still healthy but you are much weaker. You have suffered all your life, working hard to earn a living, then war and chaos, then raising children and taking care of grandchildren. When we are old, our family only hopes that our children and grandchildren will develop, society will prosper and we are happy because every year we receive "uncles" to visit, give gifts, and make new clothes for us." The word "uncles" in Mr. Vien's meaning is that representatives of the government at all levels, every year, on the occasion of Spring and Tet, often visit the elderly, which is also the gratitude of the young generation to the elderly of the homeland.

We said goodbye to the two elders to return to the city in time for the afternoon bus. The familiar green arched iron gate had disappeared, looking back, we still saw the two of them holding hands, sitting and looking out at the dimly lit yard, as if nearly a hundred years ago it had been so peaceful and loving, and would still be the same tomorrow...

Phuong Chi