What do parents like?

It’s true. We are always busy trying to connect with the world, forgetting that to our parents, you are the world. We always think that there is still plenty of time to return to our parents, to talk and understand them better, forgetting that our parents’ hair is already grey, that there is not much time left, and when we suddenly turn back, it is already too late…

The other day, an aunt came to visit my house and told me a tear-jerking story. Last week, her house had guests over. The meal was sumptuous, including steamed fish with pickled cabbage. While chatting happily, the female guest suddenly noticed that the aunt was busy taking care of, asking questions, and picking dishes for this person and that person without having eaten a single delicious bite, so she enthusiastically urged: Sister, please leave us alone! This steamed fish is really delicious, please eat it while it's hot.

Her son, who was in his second year of university this year, quickly added on, “My mother doesn’t like to eat fish meat, ma’am. She only likes to remove the fish heads and bones!” The whole table suddenly fell silent, then after a while, they laughed and talked along with the young man’s innocent answer, only the aunt was silent with a forced smile on her lips, but her heart was bitter. She told me that no one likes to eat bones, it’s just because of the habit of giving in to her husband and children that she avoided them like that, and her child was innocent, and even though he was grown up, he still didn’t understand his parents’ feelings.

The story of “my mother only likes to remove fish heads and bones” is certainly not an exception. Looking around us, looking at ourselves, there are certainly stories that show naive awareness and understanding of parents like that. Usually, parents “tears flow down”, always put their children first in everything, always accept disadvantages, humiliation, fatigue, and suppress their feelings deep down to give their children all the best things.

Parents often say: Mom doesn't like this; Dad doesn't like that; That's fine; Mom is fine, no need for anything more..., but everyone has desires and wishes, it's just that parents are used to hiding them, ignoring their own desires, because they're afraid their children will be sad, spend a lot of money, get tired..., because they give in so their children can eat well, dress well, and be equal to their friends.

From childhood to adulthood, children have become accustomed to the image of their parents being frugal, almost not buying anything for themselves all year round, complaining and regretting everything they see, gradually forming the idea that their parents do not like or care for anything; therefore, we unconsciously forget their needs. We grow up, busy conquering faraway lands, the love and longing for our parents remain in our hearts, but so many busy things keep drifting away, and gradually the times we visit our parents become less frequent. We always think that there is still a lot of time, if we don't visit our parents this time, there will be another time, but the trip with the agency has been scheduled and we cannot be late, friends have urgent business and we cannot refuse... We look back, is it true that everything seems impossible to ignore, only our parents can always step back and wait?

After all, growing up is a journey that pushes us forward, but also pushes us further and further away from our parents. As we grow up, it seems that the way parents and children interact with each other changes: we become more and more bold, our parents become more and more reserved; we are always busy, our parents become the ones waiting; gradually a seemingly non-existent distance forms between parents and children. That distance can only be shortened by rearranging the priorities in each person's life. And first of all, we can start by asking ourselves: What do my parents like?