So that your children's trips won't be filled with regrets with the two words 'If only...'

We, as parents, work hard and save every penny, just to get those happy moments for our children. The trip to Ha Long of Mr. Hung, Ms. Hien and their two children must have been filled with so much love and hope.

Then, in just a few fateful seconds, a storm came, turning those dreams into painful memories, forever. The capsize of the Bay Xanh 58 on July 19th was not a distant movie, but a harsh reality that happened right next to us.

The choking sobs of the mother and wife as they received three bodies wrapped in white tarps, the heartbreaking question: "Can anyone sell me a ticket back from yesterday? My husband and children will not leave yet!" - all remind us of the fragility of life, especially when we are carrying small creatures on our shoulders.

The creatures that forever lie at the bottom of the cold sea, and the innocent eyes that were lucky to escape like the resilient 14-year-old boy, have sounded a profound alarm.

As someone who has experienced the precarious moments between life and death, I understand better than anyone the impermanence of life, and more than anything, the responsibility of every parent in preparing their children for every trip.

We cannot prevent all risks, but we can do everything in our power to protect those smiles and those innocent dreams.

Life-saving "secrets" for your family

As adults, we can make mistakes and do it again. But with the lives of our children, you are not allowed to make mistakes, even once. I do not want to scare you. Because impermanence does not need to be threatened. But I want us to learn together how to prepare, so that when an incident happens (which we never want), we do not have to live our whole lives in torment: "If only I had prepared better...".

Here are five little things that can save your family before every trip:

1. Your first escape map: As soon as you arrive in a new place, whether it's a hotel room, a train cabin, or an airplane seat, take a minute to look around. "Where's the nearest exit?"

Enter your room and find the escape map on the wall. Get on a boat and count the steps to the deck. Get on a plane and look for the nearest exit. You can’t lead your child to safety if you don’t know the exit yourself. Make this a game, a natural part of your family routine.

2. Life jackets – not just an “accessory”: The Ha Long accident has clearly demonstrated that life jackets are the last “wall” between life and death. Don’t hesitate to ask if there are life jackets in the right size for children. Children under 5 years old need a separate life jacket, a small size that fits well. Many times, life jackets are available but not the right size, or are stored in a place that is hard to find. Ask to see and even try on your child right there.

Don't worry if someone thinks you're "too careful". Because between life and death, a standard life jacket, worn correctly, is the most valuable lifeline.

Explain its meaning, train your child to wear it, and most importantly, set an example yourself. Seeing the unfortunate father still clutching the life jacket strap when he was found, we can understand this even more.

3. Family safety "code": Get your child into the habit of paying attention to safety signs or special commands. Agree on a few simple "codes" with your child.

"Remember, if you hear this bell (or this whistle), you must run after your parents immediately." Or "If you see a lot of smoke, bend down and hold your mother's/father's hand tightly."

Sometimes, just a simple command, a pre-formed reflex, can save the whole family in a chaotic situation.

At the same time, prepare a small, laminated card, clearly stating the child's name, parents' full names, emergency contact numbers, and even blood type if possible. Tell your child to always carry it in a pocket or small backpack, and to know how to give it to an adult when needed. If it is a trip to the beach, teach your child to swim. Not only is it a survival skill, but it also helps your child become more confident and safer in the water environment.

4. “Guiding light” in the dark: Always carry a compact flashlight that can be attached to your keys or backpack. In an emergency situation where the power goes out, you will have to carry your child, and fumbling for your phone will be very difficult.

A mini flashlight can be the only light source to guide you outside. If you have a smart watch, find out and set the SOS mode. With just one click, you can send out an emergency location signal, asking for help.

5. 5-minute "rehearsal": Share responsibilities: Before going out, spend 5 minutes together "simulating" an emergency situation. "If something happens, who will carry child A? Who will carry child B? Who will take care of the paperwork? Who will call for help?" "If we have to evacuate, which direction will we go and where will we meet?"... Sharing roles and speaking clearly with each other will help the whole family avoid screaming and asking each other "What now? What now?" in utter panic.

Listen to your intuition and lead by example

Sometimes, an adult’s instincts are important. If the weather suddenly turns bad despite a good forecast, if the ship shows signs of abnormality, or if you simply feel uneasy, don’t hesitate to postpone or cancel your trip. Your child’s safety is not worth the cost.

Be a good example for your child in all safety behaviors. Wear a life jacket with your child, follow the instructions of the crew, and do not push or shove. When your child sees that you are serious, he or she will also learn to protect himself or herself.

However, parents’ efforts are not enough. Children’s dreams need to be protected by a solid safety system. The Ha Long accident has exposed loopholes, from the need to tighten ship inspection standards to the lack of compliance with regulations by some individuals and organizations.

We need to work together, from the government in tightening inspections and improving early warning technology; from tourism businesses in ensuring every ship and every trip meets the highest safety standards; to every tourist in voluntarily complying with regulations.

Let every trip of yours be a journey of joy and peace, no longer haunted by the "whispers of impermanence" from the sea.