Through the storm

(Baonghean) - After loving him for a while, I discovered that he was being led astray by a "white ghost". Working for a quarry owner, he spent every penny he earned on gambling and drug injections. Knowing this, I was really shocked and in pain, unable to eat or sleep for several days. My family, friends and relatives all advised me to stay away from that person, otherwise I would have to suffer hardship for the rest of my life. But he cried and begged me for a chance to start over, to build happiness with me. And I believed him!

Illustration: An Vinh

When they found out that their daughter had decided to spend her life with a drug addict, my parents were extremely angry, strongly opposed and tried to stop me in every way. They even declared that they would abandon me and no longer consider me as their own child. My heart always turned to him, believing that he would change his mind for me, believing that my love would change him. I put aside everything that belonged to reason to follow the dictates of my heart, even though I knew clearly the challenges and hardships that awaited me.

I came to him without receiving a blessing from my parents. Feeling sorry for myself, I still hoped and believed in my choice. In the beginning, I was welcomed with a lot of happiness, which was the care and love of my husband's family and also the sharing, confiding, and future plans of him. He promised, he would be determined to give up drugs, focus on business, save, accumulate money to build a new house to live alone, then open a small-scale stone processing factory to do business on his own, not depending on others. He gave almost all of his monthly salary to his wife, leaving only a little for expenses. He went home on time, not late like before the wedding. His face was always filled with joy and excitement, when he had free time, he did everything for his wife without hesitation. I believed more in my love and happiness, believed in the power of love that could transform a person who had gone astray and lost his way.

Love blossomed when I realized that there was a life inside me, a shape forming and moving. I was both nervously waiting and anxiously looking forward, but above all, there was still hope for a bright future for the child growing in my womb. Nearly a year after the wedding, I went into labor and gave birth to a plump, beautiful baby girl. The first time he held the baby, he exclaimed: "Oh! My angel! I will try to live well to be worthy of your presence in this life." Looking at his radiant face at that moment, my eyes suddenly filled with tears of joy, all the hardships and grievances accumulated in my soul seemed to be blown away by a gust of wind and melted away by the sunlight. The birth of the baby gave him even more motivation to work enthusiastically, spending more time supporting his wife and taking care of the child. I know you are trying to realize your dream of having a small house and a stone processing factory to ensure your family's life.

Our daughter eats well, grows quickly and is quite pretty and well-behaved. At nearly 2 years old, she has started to babble, the family atmosphere has become warmer and happier. Hope is even more filled when there are voices, laughter and even cries of children in the house. At that time, the plan to build a new house and open his own workshop could not be realized, partly because business was getting more and more difficult, partly because capital was still limited. His health showed signs of decline, he often got sick, had a dry cough, and then had rashes all over his body. At first, I thought it was because of overwork and poor diet, so I cooked nutritious food and good medicine for him. But his condition did not improve, the ulcers on his body became more and more numerous. Everyone advised him to go to the hospital for a general examination, but after much delay, he finally decided to go to Vinh for examination and testing.

The whole family anxiously awaited the test results, everyone was worried and hoped that nothing bad would happen, so that the family could always live in happiness. But then, the results were not as expected, the hospital concluded that he was infected with HIV, starting to move into the AIDS stage, that evil virus was destroying his body, weakening his immune system. And that also meant that he had received a "death sentence", his life could only be counted in months, there was not much hope for a cure and prolonging his life. He completely collapsed, lying there, unable to get up from the "thunderbolt" news, and fell into a deep pit of despair. As for me, I was stunned, my face pale, the ground beneath my feet seemed to collapse in large pieces, my mind was lost as if falling into a void...

Less than half a year after discovering that he had the disease of the century, my husband passed away in extreme pain and disappointment. I was equally in pain, disappointment and confusion, I was worried that I and my daughter were infected with HIV. But I still did not have the courage to go for a test, because the vague fear always haunted and tormented my heart, because of the fear that life's tragedies would continue. Relatives and friends tried their best to advise me, but finally I decided to bravely face the truth by taking my daughter for a test. Once again, I was stunned and devastated when I received from the doctor the HIV positive conclusion. No longer interested in life, at that moment I immediately thought of death to free myself from all the torment and pain that was accumulating in my heart. Quickly glancing at my daughter's conclusion, fortunately I saw the two words "negative" clearly, my heart suddenly wavered between life and death. Death is a release for me, but what will happen to my daughter, who is not yet 3 years old, still so young? My heart is filled with a hundred tangled thoughts, all the way home I felt like a sleepwalker.

People around me sincerely advised me to persevere for my child, because he is a pitiful child, innocent, he has the right to receive love and care from his mother. I am determined to persevere to live for my child, even though there are still many ups and downs ahead. I asked my husband's parents to let me and my child build our own house, I grew vegetables and raised pigs and chickens to make a living. Before getting married, I learned tailoring, now I decided to open a small tailor shop to serve the needs of the people in the area. My tailor shop is getting more and more crowded, partly because I am a careful and steady person, so people trust me, partly because people feel sorry for me, coming to sew clothes as a way to help my child and I have some money to spend on daily expenses. As long as we are diligent and hard-working, our life will not be so difficult and poor.

Fortunately, my mother and I were never alone, but always received the care, sharing and help of the community and close friends. On normal days, neighbors would come over to chat happily, and carry my daughter around the village. I registered for the Women's Association, participating in all activities to forget my sadness, to find harmony and happiness. Knowing my situation, a group of local peer educators came to my house to encourage me to participate, the main job was to propagate, advise and help people in the same situation. I happily accepted, because I always kept in mind that I had been in a desperate situation, and was helped by everyone, now I had the responsibility to help others to ensure justice. As a peer educator, I met and interacted with many people infected with HIV, everyone was suffering and disappointed, I felt like I saw my face again nearly 10 years ago...

I have used my own life story to share and encourage people in the same situation, helping them overcome the suffering that is tormenting them. And I see that my life has passed through the storm, and there are bright days ahead…

TUONG ANH

(Recorded according to the character's narration)