Students are depressed because of the high expectations of their parents and teachers.

The heartbreaking story of a 10th grade student at Nguyen Khuyen School (HCMC) who committed suicide, leaving a letter saying that he was under pressure from studying and could not meet his family's expectations, has made many people think.

Childhood is all about learning

"This is not the only painful case," affirmed Ms. Pham Thi Bich Phuong, teacher in charge of the psychology department at Marie Curie High School in Ho Chi Minh City.

Ms. Phuong shares a story that is happening right at her school, involving a student named Thanh (name changed).

Thanh is the best student in his class, with a GPA of nearly 9. Thanh is only in 11th grade and hasn't studied for the university entrance exam yet, but his extra classes are already full all week. Boys can't play sports, don't have a group of friends, and have never held hands with a girl. When he takes his eyes off his books, he has a smartphone for entertainment.

The school psychologist promptly approached Thanh when he fell into depression. He could have acted negatively if not detected in time.

Ms. Phuong said Thanh once confided to the teacher: "If my parents take this phone away, my life will be nothing."

Thanh buried himself in his studies, not because he was interested in knowledge. He studied to protect his phone - his last source of entertainment. Before that, every time his grades dropped, his parents cut down on one of their entertainments, believing that was the reason for his decline.

"What's the point of studying so much, teacher? I don't understand...", Ms. Phuong quoted Thanh as she was overcome by depression.

Social media has been sharing a photo of a 9th grade girl studying at 11pm. The girl was still studying diligently, still in her school uniform. She had just returned home after an extra class that lasted from 7pm.

Nguyen Hang - the female student's older sister - lamented: "She studied all week without a break, came home in the evening, had a quick meal, and then went to extra classes. I don't know if she studied better, but her health has declined a lot."

It's so hard because this year she's taking the 10th grade entrance exam. Her mother is a teacher and her father is a civil servant, so the pressure on her to study is even greater. Whenever she gets a low score, she gets punished at home.

"It's already eleven thirty at night, and he's still studying tomorrow's lesson while eating rice, and there's a pile of outlines. I wonder what time he'll be studying until?", the sister worriedly confided.

Parents ignored those complaints. A few years ago, the older sister was no different from her younger sister, burying herself in studying for exams amid the expectations of the whole family: "Our childhood was all about studying, so when we go out into society, we are still very ignorant."

Cut off all entertainment, fatal mistake

According to psychologist Pham Thi Bich Phuong, academic pressure will cause students to have psychological problems. In a moment of impulsiveness, a child can act negatively to express their attitude, run away from home to test how worried their parents are, or fast, lock themselves in their room because they are angry with their relatives.

"Never before has the rate of students with depression due to studying at Thanh's school been as high as this year. Many years ago, students only faced common psychological problems such as love and friendship," said psychology master Pham Thi Bich Phuong.

School age is not only about grades and achievements. Children must also have the innocence and mischief in the proverb "First is devil, second is spirit, third is student". Children who do not live according to their age will develop deviant thoughts.

Ms. Phuong is directly treating 3 cases of depressed students at the school. To approach these cases, Ms. Phuong had to screen each class through psychological tests.

What these cases have in common is that study time overwhelms all other activities. If the children fall behind in their studies, their parents cut back on their entertainment. Their living environment gradually narrows until there is nothing left but books.

Faced with pressure, the child will have two choices. One is to break down barriers, become stubborn and rebellious. The other is to withdraw, become reluctant to communicate and gradually fall into depression.

"At this stage of depression, just one more trigger will cause the child to act negatively," Ms. Phuong said.

Mr. Nguyen Quoc Vuong, a PhD student in history education at Kanazawa University, Japan, stated the current situation: "Examinations have become the central activity of education and schools have essentially turned into exam preparation centers. Extra classes, tutoring, extra classes, remedial classes... are also to serve the exams."

Mr. Vuong believes that schools - the place that has the function of discovering and maximizing people's qualities and abilities so that they can live like normal people, people who know how to seek happiness for themselves and society - have turned into a cold and cruel exam preparation machine.

Family and school should reduce pressure

Master of Psychology Pham Thi Bich Phuong said that not only Nguyen Khuyen High School, the pressure of exams is weighing on students in all of Ho Chi Minh City. They hardly have time to explore their talents and interests. In the future, the risk of students suffering from depression leading to suicide will increase.

Ho Chi Minh City is the leading unit in implementing psychological counseling rooms in high schools. However, not all schools in the city do this job well. Increased exam pressure has increased the need for psychological experts.

Psychologists say that the biggest influence on student psychology is still parents. Instead of cutting off all sources of entertainment, parents must understand clearly what their children want? What makes them happy?

When seeing signs of fatigue, withdrawal, irregular activities, and reluctance to communicate in children, families should take immediate action before it is too late.