Students are depressed because of the high expectations of their parents and teachers.

The heartbreaking story of a 10th grade student at Nguyen Khuyen School (HCMC) who committed suicide, leaving a letter saying that he was under pressure from studying and could not meet his family's expectations, has made many people think.

Childhood is all about learning

"This is not the only painful case," affirmed Master Pham Thi Bich Phuong - teacher in charge of the psychology room, Marie Curie High School, Ho Chi Minh City.

Ms. Phuong shares a story that is happening right at her school, involving a student named Thanh (name changed).

Thanh is the best student in the class, with a GPA of nearly 9. Thanh is only in 11th grade and hasn't even started studying for the university entrance exam yet, but his extra classes are already full all week. Boys don't play sports, don't have any friends, and have never held hands with a girl. When he takes his eyes off his books, he has a smartphone for entertainment.

The school psychologist promptly approached Thanh when he fell into depression. He could have acted negatively if not detected in time.

Ms. Phuong said Thanh once confided to the teacher: "If my parents take away this phone too, my life will be nothing."

Thanh buried himself in his studies, not because he was interested in knowledge. He studied to protect his phone – his last source of entertainment. Before that, every time his grades dropped, his parents cut down on one of their entertainments, believing that was the reason for his decline.

"What's the point of studying so much, teacher? I don't understand...", Ms. Phuong quoted Thanh as she was overcome with depression.

Social media has been sharing a photo of a 9th grade girl studying at 11pm. The girl was still studying diligently, still in her school uniform. She had just returned home after an extra class that lasted from 7pm.

Nguyen Hang - the female student's older sister - lamented: "She studied all week without a break, came home in the evening, ate quickly and then went to extra classes. I don't know if she studied better or not, but her health has declined a lot."

The reason for this is because this year she is taking the 10th grade entrance exam. Her mother is a teacher and her father is a civil servant, so the pressure on her to study is even greater. Whenever she gets low marks, she is punished at home.

"It's already 11:30 at night, and he's still studying for tomorrow's lesson while eating rice, and there's a pile of outlines too. I wonder what time he'll be studying until?", the sister worriedly confided.

Parents ignored those complaints. A few years ago, the older sister was no different from her younger sister, burying herself in studying for exams amid the expectations of the whole family: "Our childhood was all about studying, so when we go out into society, we are still very ignorant."

Cut off all entertainment, a fatal mistake

According to psychologist Pham Thi Bich Phuong, academic pressure will cause students to have psychological problems. In a moment of rashness, a child can act negatively to express their attitude, run away from home to test how worried their parents are, or fast, lock themselves in their room because of anger at relatives.

"Never before has the rate of students suffering from depression due to studying at Thanh's school been as high as this year. Many years ago, students only faced common psychological problems such as love and friendship," said psychology master Pham Thi Bich Phuong.

School age is not only about grades and achievements. Children must also have the innocence and mischief in the proverb "First is devil, second is spirit, third is student". Children who do not live according to their age will develop deviant thoughts.

Ms. Phuong is directly treating 3 cases of students suffering from depression at the school. To approach these cases, Ms. Phuong had to screen each class through psychological tests.

What these cases have in common is that study time overwhelms all other activities. If the children fail in their studies, their parents cut down on their entertainment. Their living environment gradually narrows until there is nothing left but books.

Faced with pressure, the child will have two choices. One is to break down the barriers, become stubborn and rebellious. The other is to withdraw, become reluctant to communicate and gradually fall into depression.

"At this stage of depression, just one more trigger will cause the child to act negatively," Ms. Phuong said.

Mr. Nguyen Quoc Vuong, a PhD student in history education at Kanazawa University, Japan, stated the current situation: "Examinations have become the central activity of education and schools have essentially turned into exam preparation centers. Extra teaching after school hours, tutoring, extra teaching, remedial teaching... are also to serve the exams."

Mr. Vuong believes that school - a place with the function of discovering and maximizing people's qualities and abilities so that they can live like a normal person, a person who knows how to seek happiness for themselves and society - has turned into a cold and cruel exam preparation machine.

Family and school should reduce pressure

Master of Psychology Pham Thi Bich Phuong said that not only Nguyen Khuyen High School, but also the pressure of exams is weighing on students in all of Ho Chi Minh City. They hardly have time to explore their own talents and interests. In the future, the risk of students becoming depressed and committing suicide will increase.

Ho Chi Minh City is the leading unit in implementing psychological counseling rooms in high schools. However, not all schools in the city do this job well. Increased exam pressure makes the need for psychological experts greater.

Psychologists believe that the biggest influence on students' psychology is still their parents. Instead of cutting off all sources of entertainment, parents must understand clearly what their children want? What makes them happy?

When seeing signs of fatigue, withdrawal, irregular activities, and reluctance to communicate, the family should take immediate measures to find out before it is too late.