When mom is away...

(Baonghean) -To make a living, many women have to leave their husbands, children and families to work abroad. At home, the husbands have replaced their wives as mothers, raising and taking care of their children. A house without a woman’s hand is full of funny and tearful stories…

After a long wait, we finally met Mr. Nguyen Duc Nhuan in Hamlet 9, Quynh Thach Commune, Quynh Luu. His wife has been working abroad in Malaysia for nearly 2 years now, their two children are still young, and he is also a businessman, so he is busy all day. The evening news program has been on air for half of the time before he starts cooking and serving dinner to his children. While cooking rice to feed his son Nguyen Duc Nhat (4 years old), Mr. Nhuan explained: "The house is short of people, the children are still young and can't do anything, so I am very busy by myself. In the morning, I cook and take the children to school, then go to work, in the evening I pick up the children, then cook, help them with homework, clean, do laundry, and that's all for the day."

Due to family circumstances, in 2011, Ms. Tran Thi Trang (Mr. Nhuan's wife) went to Malaysia to work as a garment worker. When she left, the eldest child was only 6 years old and the youngest was 2 years old, so Mr. Nhuan had to take care of all the household chores. The hardest part was the first days she went abroad, Nhat missed his mother and cried, no matter how much he tried to comfort him, he couldn't. At times like that, he would hold the child in his arms, caress and comfort him, and only let him go when he was fast asleep did he let go to do other things. He was afraid that his son would neglect his studies without his mother, so every night he had to take care of him.

Thuy's bright red marks are a gift for her mother who is working abroad, a consolation for his hard days. Since his wife left, he had to do everything. At first, he was not used to it, everything was chaotic, confusing, and sometimes he panicked, not knowing if he could handle it. After many times of burnt fish and burnt rice, he has now become a "good housewife". "When I called home, I was so happy and sad that I missed my children that his mother cried. Although I pretended to be with my children, my heart was also broken. Because of the family's circumstances, I sent my wife to work abroad. No matter how hard I tried, I could not replace the mother for my children...", Mr. Nhuan confided.

Mr. Nguyen Duc Nhuan helps his child with homework.

Just over a year after giving birth, there was a labor export campaign to Malaysia with many incentives, so Mr. Nguyen Minh Xuan in Quynh Tan commune, Quynh Luu had to let his wife go. Life in the countryside is still difficult, when there is an opportunity to change their lives, farmers must seize it. Children away from their mothers, young wives away from their husbands with many difficulties and deprivations, but they all have to try to overcome them. The first days his wife went abroad were a tragicomedy that he could never tell. After getting married, the young couple lived separately, far from their grandparents' house, so they could not rely on anyone.

Every time he missed his mother or had a fever, his child cried and cried, and no matter how much he tried to comfort and console him, he would not stop. With no other way, the young father had to carry his child to the neighbors and ask one person after another. To know how to sing lullabies to put his child to sleep, he bought a CD to listen to and asked the experiences of the elders in the neighborhood. After a few months of practice, he was able to sing sweet, warm lullabies, and his child no longer cried and cried like before. “When my child is healthy, it is better, but when he is sick, it is really difficult. As a man, I am clumsy and awkward in everything, I have to learn gradually to get used to it, I don’t know it like women do…”, Mr. Xuan shared.

Due to difficult family circumstances, even though she is over 45 years old, Ms. Nguyen Thi Hong in Quynh Van commune (Quynh Luu) still goes to Taiwan to work. The family has only sons, and her husband often neglects housework, so before leaving, Ms. Hong spent two nights instructing her children on everything. To ease her mother's worries and help her work, her eldest son, Hoang Van Thong, always sets an example for his younger siblings. In addition to teaching them how to study, Thong also assigns housework to each younger sibling, with older siblings doing big jobs and younger siblings doing small jobs, so none of them are jealous of each other. But without the help of their mother, many days the whole family has to eat mushy rice, burnt rice, and the market is far away, so sometimes it's a mess, sometimes it's a mess. In addition to cultivating two acres of rice fields for food, the four of them also do crops and raise pigs and chickens. “We are used to having our mother worry and take care of us, so at first, my father and I had a hard time, not knowing how to do anything. But now we have gotten used to everything, everyone is in the “regular” mode, especially everyone is studying well so that our mother who is far away can work with peace of mind” – Hoang Van Thong said.

These are stories among thousands of stories of families with sisters working abroad. Because of life, they have to be far away from their husbands and children, enduring many hardships and deprivations. The money they earn and send back home helps many families build new houses, buy expensive items, and send their children to school. In response to that hardship, back home, the husbands and children work hard, study, and build their families together.

Ms. Ho Thi Thanh - President of the Women's Union of Quynh Tan Commune (Quynh Luu) shared: "Most of the women who go to work abroad are farmers, without skills or qualifications, so they mainly work as maids, cleaners in hotels and restaurants. A few are trained to work as garment workers and assemble electronic accessories. As women are weak and vulnerable, they need the care and support of their families and society. Husbands and children must understand the hardships and difficulties of their wives and mothers in foreign countries so that they can work hard, study well and avoid social evils."

Article and photos: Trieu Duong