A mother's love in the highlands

(Baonghean)For various reasons, mothers in the highlands bear the heavy responsibility of being the family's breadwinner. Even if it means working as hired laborers, planting rice, or selling their own stilt houses, they are determined to raise their children and provide them with a proper education.

Selling the stilt house holds hope.

The last monsoon winds of the cold season have swept through, bringing a slight chill to the western part of Nghe An province. A light drizzle falls here and there. This season, residents of the six Thai villages in Nam Son commune (Quy Hop district) are finishing planting their last rice paddies to meet the planting deadline. In Quang village, the Thai community has lived here for over a hundred years; the stilt houses with gardens bordering rows of betel nut trees and betel vines in front evoke a sense of tranquility. It's late afternoon, and the village is quite deserted. Some families in the village have bought trucks, but modern lifestyles seem to be only superficial. The people still maintain their traditional village customs. Women still prefer traditional clothing. Gongs and drums are still considered treasures, and people cherish them like jewels...

The last day of the year for Ms. Lo Thi Ty in Dinh village, Chi Khe commune, Con Cuong district.

I had an appointment with a subject for an article in Quang village, but it was already getting dark and she still hadn't returned. I tried calling her mobile phone, but couldn't get through. The young village chief, who was also out in the forest, could only tell me to be patient. This season, most villagers go into the forest to harvest rattan. Many don't get home until late at night. A woman in her 50s, noticing my impatience, invited me into her house for a drink. Her makeshift shack nestled at the edge of the village lane. Inside, there was only the woman and her son. Her younger brother, in his early twenties, looked at me fearfully and retreated into the kitchen. The woman, named Luong Thi Minh, explained that her son had a neurological problem; he was afraid of strangers. She has two children. Her eldest, Luong Van Thong, has autism, and her second child, Lo Thanh Binh, is in his final year at the University of Economics, Vietnam National University, Hanoi.

Seeing me speaking Thai, Mrs. Minh happily exclaimed, "So you're from the village!" and poured me a glass of wine. She said that this village often welcomes guests from afar with a glass of wine. I asked about her family circumstances, and she tearfully recounted a difficult period in her life, a hardship she didn't know when it would end.

In the past, girls in the village usually married early, so getting married at 20 was considered late. She was also uneducated, so she was happy to find a village boy who loved her. After the wedding, she learned that her husband had heart disease and was unable to work. Believing that marriage was a matter of fate, she disregarded her husband's illness and took on the heavier tasks herself. She only hoped that his condition would improve so they could live together until old age. After having two children, a family in the extended family who were childless adopted Binh (their second child). Later, that family had four children, and they returned Binh to the Luong family. All the documents and records now bear the surname of the adoptive father, which is why the children of the Luong family now bear the surname Lo.

Lo Thanh Binh was known as a bright student in the village. Knowing her son was doing well in school, Mrs. Minh promised herself that even if her husband became ill and couldn't provide for him, she would do her best to support his education, hoping that he would become successful and help his parents in the future. In 2010, Binh passed the university entrance exam. Holding her son's acceptance letter, she felt as if birds were singing in the forest. But when she thought about it, she panicked because the tuition fees, plus rent and transportation costs, would amount to 3 or 4 million dong. At this time, their stilt house had just been built, and they had to pay off the debt for the house construction. Where would they get the money for their son's education? After a sleepless night of thinking, she discussed with her husband the idea of ​​selling the house. That money might be enough for their son throughout his university years. It was a difficult decision, as rebuilding a house is the hardest thing in a person's life. But for her son's education, she thought that parents had to make this sacrifice.

So, just before their child started school, the newly built stilt house, still smelling of fresh wood, was sold to a relative on the mother's side for 160 million dong. While waiting for the house to be dismantled, Mrs. Minh and her husband built a small wooden house next to it as temporary accommodation.

The 160 million dong, along with an additional loan from the Policy Bank, was only enough to cover her son's education until the end of his third year. At the beginning of his fourth year, her son asked for a laptop. He said that for studying, a computer is like a book and a pen. In this urgent situation, the mother decided to sell their temporary wooden house for nearly 30 million dong to buy a computer for her son. So, before the Lunar New Year, Mrs. Minh's family had to "move house" again. She said that even though some people might call her crazy, she doesn't care. As long as her son gets a proper education, that's what matters. She hopes that with that amount of money, it will be enough to cover her son's tuition for his final year of university.

Working to support my children through college.

In a somewhat different situation from Mrs. Luong Thi Minh, there is Ms. Lo Thi Ty, residing in Dinh village, Chi Khe commune (Con Cuong district). She married in her early twenties and lived with her husband for nearly 10 years, giving birth to one son and one daughter. However, her husband refused to work hard and was a heavy drinker. Each time he got drunk, he would abuse his wife and children. Out of love for her children and unable to endure her abusive husband, she took her two children back to her mother's hometown. She built a small hut to raise them. Her eldest daughter was studious and passed the university entrance exam twice. Those familiar with her family situation advised her to persuade her daughter to be understanding and not pursue university herself. Besides, a university degree doesn't guarantee a job. Feeling sorry for her studious daughter and unwilling to let her drop out, she decided she would do everything she could to support her daughter's education. Her daughter also promised her mother she would find part-time work to ease the burden.

After seeing her daughter off to school, she set herself a goal of earning a couple of million dong each month to send to her daughter. This was no easy task for a single mother with financial difficulties like her. With little education and being older, Ms. Ty chose to work weeding, clearing forests, and planting rice for hire to earn money for her daughter. Every morning, she would diligently go to work until late at night before returning home. Even when sick, she didn't dare take a day off. After years of hard work, she developed a stomach ulcer. Now, she has to pay for medicine as well. Fortunately, her second son is also grown up. For more than six months now, he has been earning money to send to her for her education.

Over time, her daughter is now in her final year at the Hanoi University of Arts. She says she's completed most of the four years of raising and educating her child. Raising a child alone, being both mother and father, has been overwhelming for her. Looking back now, she doesn't know how she managed to overcome those difficulties. Every evening, she goes to her neighbor's house to watch TV, and seeing scenes of many university graduates unemployed makes her worried for her daughter. But her daughter reassures her, saying she'll definitely find a job after graduation...

Sweet fruits for Mom

As the breadwinner of her family, raising and educating three children, Mrs. Lu Thi Loan (Thach Giam - Tuong Duong) has finally overcome her most difficult years. Her three children, two sons and one daughter, have all achieved success. One is a teacher, another a doctor. They are all very filial to their parents. During family gatherings, her smile brightens, and she seems to forget the hardships of the past. Yet, just a few years ago, she single-handedly had to provide for her three children's education while her husband was ill and unable to work. From gathering vegetables and firewood in the forest to sell at Hoa Binh market, she supported her family and ensured her three children received an education.

In a conversation with us, Ms. Luong Thi Danh, President of the Women's Association of Nam Son commune (Quy Hop district), recounted the story of Ms. Luong Thi Huong, a mother in Tang village. This mother had to raise three children while her husband was seriously ill. Through her resilience, she set a shining example for the women's association members in this mountainous commune. Now, two of her children have graduated and found jobs. Her eldest son is now the vice chairman of the commune. Only one son is still studying at university. This is truly the first sweet fruit that mothers who have devoted themselves to their children deserve.

These "sweet fruits" are the cherished dream of Ms. Lo Thi Ty, Ms. Luong Thi Minh, and other mothers in the highlands who, for one reason or another, have to raise their children alone and support their education. For these mothers, despite the many economic difficulties, they have overcome all obstacles to ensure their children receive a proper education. The aspirations of these mothers in the highlands are not just about providing their children with stable jobs in the future. As Ms. Luong Thi Minh, who has had to sell her house twice to pay for her children's education, said: "The greatest wish of a mother is for her children to have knowledge!"

Another admissions season is approaching. University life is certainly not easy, not only for the students but also for parents in disadvantaged areas, especially mothers who are the primary breadwinners, like the "grandmothers" we met during our reporting...

Huu Vi