Mom please understand me!

I love my mother with all my heart, not because I want to show off to my husband and children. But my mother-in-law thinks I am good with my words but not good to her.

My mother-in-law has many good points: good-natured, hard-working (she is much more diligent than me), wholeheartedly helps her daughter-in-law with everything from big to small, but she talks a lot and likes to interfere in my husband and I's life. Because she often takes on too much work, she often makes mistakes, cooks and fries food 10 times and burns 10 times out of 10, since the day my child learned to turn over, several times my mother put it down and went to do other things, causing the child to almost fall. One time during the month, I slept, asking my mother to help me look after the child, instead of using a mosquito net, she used a cage to cover the child. In addition, my mother often shows everyone that the child is compatible with her grandmother and father, but she doesn't like to admit that he is compatible with his mother and follows her. When I say that at night he often cries for his mother, my mother-in-law always denies it with all kinds of reasons: he is hungry, he is scared, someone comes home to tease him and he cries... (the truth is that my child doesn't know how to follow, only when his mother is not around at night does he cry out loud, but during the day anyone can hold him).

When I am calm, I am quite tactful, but when I get angry, I speak without thinking and am competitive. Every time my mother says something that I find offensive, I always say it back, even in front of my husband or his siblings, so there have been a few conflicts. My husband is usually the one in the middle to explain and reconcile, and many times we talk about this issue. When I calm down, sometimes the two of us talk, my mother says "You have a hot temper, but I know that there is nothing in your heart", hearing that, I love my mother even more and feel that I was wrong. However, the day my mother-in-law went to summon my father-in-law's spirit, when she came back, my mother told my husband that my father told me "You are good at talking but not good to your mother-in-law". My mother told my husband not to tell his wife, but he still told me. After listening, I did not know what to say. If the story of summoning the spirit is true, I do not believe that my father-in-law said that. I think maybe my mother-in-law always thought that in her heart, so when she went to summon the spirit, she asked the "spirit" if it was true, and the "spirit" said it was true, so when she came back, my mother told me that.

Since I was a child, everyone told me that I was a person with strong lungs and wore my heart on the outside. I was angry and argued with my mother that I was wrong, but I never cursed, never called her "ma'am" or "I". When I was calm, I always tried to be filial and take care of her. I loved my mother sincerely, not because I wanted to show off to my husband and children. Yet my mother-in-law thought I was that kind of person. The saddest thing was that my husband used that sentence to scold me, saying that I was not good to my mother-in-law, that my family was rich so I looked down on my poor mother, and then said that I was unfilial, why did I go to the temple?

We loved each other for 5 years before getting married, and have been living together for almost 2 years now. He knows very well what kind of person I am, yet he said such heartbreaking things. In a moment of anger, I tore up our marriage certificate. Now we have reconciled, but I still think about it and feel very sad. I don't understand what is happening in my family. My husband and I are in discord, my husband's siblings are unhappy, and my family is unhappy. I really need advice from experienced people. Thank you very much.

According to VNE