Vietnamese mother in Japan shows how to treat bad habits of 3-4 year old children

When the child said 'no' to all of her mother's requests, instead of punishing her child by making her stand in the corner, Nguyet Pham punished her directly based on the result of her child's refusal.

When raising children at the age of 3-4, parents have to face many "headache" situations when their children's psychology is changing. Ms. Nguyet Pham, a mother of one in Tokyo (Japan), is no exception. However, after more than 8 years of living in the land of the rising sun, she has had many opportunities to learn about child care and education from her children's friends and teachers. The following sharing from Ms. Nguyet Pham can help parents understand the psychology and know how to handle typical "bad habits" of 3-4 year old children.

1. Start lying

The first time Nguyet Pham's daughter Kimura Akino (Vietnamese name is Binh Minh) lied was when her mother asked: "Have you brushed your teeth yet?". She insisted to her mother that she had brushed her teeth while her mother "knew full well" that she was lying. Another time, she went to the toilet without flushing but still told her mother that she had.

According to Binh Minh's mother, there are many reasons why children lie, for example, they don't like brushing their teeth, find it annoying, think that because their mother doesn't see it, she doesn't know... In this case, her way of handling it is to provide evidence to prove that her child hasn't done it, for example: "I didn't see my father give you a toothbrush", "You can't lie like that. Next time you lie, I'll take you to the dentist"... Parents should not judge that children at this age lying shows that they are bad, on the contrary, Ms. Nguyet Pham thinks that it is a sign that the child is getting "smarter" and the child's psychology at this time wants to assert himself.

2. Children often make up excuses.

"In the past, when she wanted to eat ice cream or cake, she would just say directly: 'Mom, buy cake, buy ice cream'. That way, it was easy for her to deal with. But now she's 'smarter'. When she sees ice cream, she says: 'Mom, I'm hungry'. I wasn't on guard, and I was fooled several times. There were many other times when she made up excuses, but the most typical one was making up excuses to eat or drink," Nguyet Pham shared.

And the way this mother of one handles it is to "use her intelligence to fight back against her friend". For example, when her child says she is hungry, the mother will say: "You just ate lunch at school and at home, why are you hungry now?".

One way for mothers to avoid stress is for Ms. Nguyet Pham to always let baby Binh Minh develop naturally.

3. Ignore and say 'no' to requests

Raising a child at this age, there were times when Nguyet Pham felt "crazy about this disease of her child". The child said "no" to all of her mother's requests, even though it had become a habit like washing hands, brushing teeth... Or when it was time to get ready for school, the mother told the child to put on clothes, but the child slammed the door and danced... The child even did the exact opposite of what the mother said, for example, when the mother just finished saying: "It's raw meat, don't eat it", the child put the piece of meat straight into his mouth...

Many parents cannot control their emotions and beat their children in situations like this without understanding that the reason for their children's "resistance" is just to see how their parents react. The position and approach of Binh Minh's mother is:

"When you ignored me, pretending not to hear me, I said: 'Don't answer me, ignore me, next time I will do that to you.' And I did it. When you called me, I ignored you, when you asked me to do something, I ignored you. As a result, after a few times you stopped doing it.

As for your 'no' problem, I say, if you don't wash your hands, you can't eat anything. If you don't brush your teeth, you'll have to go to the doctor tomorrow... I never punish my child by making him stand in the corner because I don't think it's effective. I usually punish directly based on the result of the action that the child refuses."

4. Slow

At this stage, most children are like this. When their mother tells them to do something, they turn around and do something else, or when they are about to do something, they notice something else, so the things they want to do, need to do, never get done. Nguyet Pham has also seen her child like this a few times, especially in the morning, when going to school or getting ready to go out.

Her solution was to tell her daughter: "See, if you had been faster, I wouldn't have to be so nervous and exhausted now." After a few times like that, the child cooperated with her mother more and didn't dawdle anymore.

5. Whiny

Many mothers often complain that they feel ashamed because their 4-year-old child is still spoiled and not independent, always wants his mother to do this and that, to be a baby for his mother to caress, hug, and feed him...

According to Nguyet Pham, these are also signs that they are growing up and becoming wiser. "Knowing that when you are little, your mother will love you more, so just pretend like that. My friend Binh Minh often asks me to brush his teeth for him, not his father; I will wash my hands with you; Mom will dress me... Sometimes it is annoying but I also love him very much. In just a short time, they will be completely independent. At that time, when you want to ask for help, they will not need it. If you want to kiss them, they will say they are shy. So, at this time, when they want to act spoiled, please respond enthusiastically, moms."

According to Ngoisao.net