'Every family must find the glue that binds them together'

PV: It is known that the theme of this year's Family Day is "Preserving and promoting the tradition of good behavior in the family". So, in your opinion, what factors are needed to build a family with such beauty?

Ms. Le Thi Huong Giang:First of all, we all understand that to have a happy family, we must first have love and respect for each other among family members. So the most important thing is to maintain good behavior in the family because that is the premise of happiness. Happiness of a family is only achieved when all members of that family feel respected and happy.

So, we all understand that good behavior in a family is that parents and grandparents need to listen and respect their children, husbands need to understand, respect and share with their wives; on the contrary, children need to be polite and obedient to their grandparents and parents. But specifically, each family is somewhat different, this family may choose a traditional way of behaving, but another family chooses a more modern way of behaving, children have the right to object when they think that the opinions of grandparents and parents are not appropriate, and grandparents and parents need to listen.... But, in general, each family must achieve respect and love through daily behavior and conduct with each family member to achieve peace and warmth.

Ms. Le Thi Huong Giang (middle) guides propaganda methods at the grassroots level. Photo: NVCC

I like the idea most in the article I just read: "Happy families are all the same". This article mentions three similar characteristics of all happy families: Mother is pampered; father is respected and children are accepted. In my opinion, these are also the elements that make up a happy family.

PV: "Happy family" is a phrase with a broad meaning, but in the most specific and understandable way, a happy family is a home without incident, always united and loving, working together to build good values. Can you tell us more about your views on this issue?

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Ms. Le Thi Huong Giang:As I said, a family is happy when the woman feels pampered. So, why is it that in every happy family, the mother is often pampered? The mother mentioned here is the woman in the family. For women, regardless of the era, whoever they are, successful or unsuccessful, noble or poor... what makes them happiest is not money but the love and protection of their spouse, of other family members. When pampered, as an instinct, women always feel that they are loved. And that makes them extremely happy. In families where the woman is happy, the children are often very happy. A happy child is a great foundation for both physical and mental development. Is there any better education than that?

As for men, no matter who they are, whether they hold a high position or not, in front of their partner, they must always feel respected and certainly when they are respected, they will feel happy.

For children, they only feel happy when they receive full love from their parents and grandparents, express their feelings, opinions, and views, and are fully accepted by family members and parents.

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And to have the above conditions, the most important thing is the natural close connection of each member with his or her family. Regardless of whether in times of suffering or happiness, the first person they think of is their family, their parents, grandparents, and siblings. Therefore, the foundation of a peaceful and happy family determines the success or failure of each individual and the prosperity of society.

PV: However, to have something that seems quite simple, not every family can build it. Many families seem to be very happy and warm, but inside they are not necessarily so. So is it because they lack sympathy, lack effort?

Rural women in mountainous areas need manual labor to create material value. Photo: NVCC

Ms. Le Thi Huong Giang:It can be said that any happy family has the nurturing hand of a woman, and a woman will only be proactive, make efforts, and sacrifice to nurture the family when she is loved. And a woman who is loved will be happy, and the happiness of a woman will also shine a happy home. Therefore, the first thing to have a happy family is that the woman is the one who builds the warm fire, on the contrary, the man must be the one who creates that radiance by bringing stability and trust in a family. Or both must find common views to overcome difficulties in life together, from there to connect and share. Happiness will always be with us even if we do not have a beautiful house or a luxury car, but we have simple things like husband and wife sharing housework, the wife listening to what the husband says, and vice versa, the husband speaks and the wife respects and responds.

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In reality, many families are said to have good economic conditions, beautiful wives and good children, but they do not have joy, laughter, or sympathy. So can we say that such families are peaceful and happy? Impossible!

Therefore, happiness can only be achieved when each member of the family feels the solidarity of each other day by day for them, and vice versa, for everyone. That is because, in modern society, taking care to have a happy family is not simply a woman having delicious food and raising well-behaved children, but they also have to accompany their husbands in developing the family economy. On the contrary, men not only work hard in society, fighting in the "battlefield" to make money, but also have to take care of housework with their wives. That mutual support will be the glue in the family, helping each member feel their own need for the others. I think the saying: "Men build houses, women build homes" is true but not enough, because now women also build houses and men also have to build homes for the family to be warm and peaceful.

PV: So, in order for modern women today to fulfill their social responsibilities while still keeping the family fire burning, what kind of cooperation is needed from family, husband and children?

Ms. Le Thi Huong Giang:In the Association's program of activities, we always emphasize that women must determine their own roles, positions, and tasks in their families as well as in the communities in which they live. Therefore, women must first of all balance between family and social work. We should not be too burdened with the requirement to perfect "Be good at public affairs, take care of housework" and then shoulder too many responsibilities. Because women are inherently weak in health, and they themselves have to take on the responsibilities of being mothers and wives, they cannot be both good at one thing and "supernatural" at the same time, so we must clearly determine what we are doing best for our families and ourselves, so we will know how to make ourselves happy.

Moreover, if you want to have a happy family, it is not only the woman who is responsible for building the home, but also largely depends on the husband. When the husband and children support the wife and mother, the woman will be able to complete both tasks of being good at public affairs and taking care of the house.

In addition to taking care of the family's finances, the husband also has to take on the housework such as cooking, shopping, and picking up the children for his wife. If the husband assumes that the housework is the wife's business, the wife will be overloaded, depressed, and the situation will easily become bad. Over time, it will become an unpleasant cultural habit in their home. Therefore, women need to adjust their patriarchal husbands so that they can listen, understand, and share in all the wife's duties, whether at home or in society.

PV: To "Preserve and promote the tradition of good behavior in the family"As the theme of the year launched by the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism, what propaganda plans should relevant sectors and socio-political organizations have so that each residential area and each member of the organization can absorb this?

Ms. Le Thi Huong Giang:First of all, to make everyone, every organization and individual focus on that topic and raise awareness for each individual member in the family in each organization, local units need to organize propaganda activities about the Code of Conduct in the Family; promote and replicate models of building prosperous, progressive and happy families; focus on preventing and combating domestic violence, aiming to achieve the target of having over 95% of households have access to information on preventing and combating domestic violence.

Economic development model from high-yield silkworm farming of Nam Dan women. Photo: NVCC

In addition, units in the province also increase the organization of conferences, seminars, thematic talks; exchange activities, competitions to learn about family knowledge, family culture. And we must pay attention to the work of praising, honoring, and rewarding typical examples to set an example and create a spread. However, the most important thing is to build models of happy and prosperous families, spread happy family clubs in the community to push back domestic violence while helping members and members to absorb skills as well as change their awareness towards self-improvement; change inappropriate habits and behaviors to bring love and happiness to family members. The most important thing in happy family models is that the proportion of participating members must be equal, both male and female, so that interaction, understanding and propaganda effectiveness can be achieved at the highest level.

Thank you for this conversation!