"Bitter Summer"* by Nguyen Huy Hoang

(Baonghean) - Every time I return to my hometown, sitting in front of the sea (of course, Cua Lo beach, not the faraway Sochi beach in Russia), I suddenly remember the "bitter summer" of the past of "Nghe scholar" Nguyen Huy Hoang, and his story of searching for his child for more than twenty years, endlessly, reaching to the sky in the snowy land...

Endless "white hair of love for children"

I met Nguyen Huy Hoang when he was at an age where his hair turned gray, which is normal. But people said, and he also said, that his hair turned gray more than twenty years ago, in just one week (just like his wife had become so emaciated that she weighed only 36kg, in just that few hours and then was bedridden for three years). That was when the two people who had lost their child were so lost that their souls were lost, they were wandering through every wave, turning over every tree and grass, their voices hoarse, looking for their child for 6 months in Sochi and for more than twenty years after that.

Poet Nguyen Huy Hoang's small home in Russia before losing his eldest daughter.

Quynh Nga - the beautiful, talented first daughter, an excellent student of the famous Moscow High School 222, came to Russia at the age of 9 without knowing a word of Russian, but after just over 2 years, she managed to become an excellent student of the school - an unprecedented event in the history of School 222, causing the Principal to exclaim: "Russian students, look at Quynh Nga and be ashamed that you lost to this small but strong-willed Vietnamese girl...".

Yet, that little pride suddenly disappeared, without a trace, right on the famous Russian resort beach in the “bitter summer” of 1993, in just a moment of carelessness of the adults: a friend and his wife (who were asked to take Nga along) went swimming, leaving the 13-year-old child on the shore with a strange Russian woman, and when they came ashore, they were nowhere to be found. The heartbreak for Hoang and his wife was that Nga’s vacation was the gift that he and his wife wanted to give their beloved daughter because of her outstanding academic achievements, but because they were busy writing their doctoral thesis, they had to send their daughter to their friend to keep their promise to her. An unexpected promise made with tears and the haunting obsession that lasted a lifetime, “grey hair, love for the child”. And also for themselves…

Cover of the book "Waiting for the light to shine" - the name of the poetry collection encapsulates the bitter life of a father who lost his child.

"Lean on the poem to stand up"

Up to now, everyone calls Nguyen Huy Hoang a poet, because of his poetry alone, he has published 10 volumes, not to mention many other collections of stories, memoirs, essays... His poetry is not really enough to define a style, but there are some beautiful verses that make people speechless, not necessarily because of the words, but because of the heart-wrenching emotions in them:

- The first cold rain of September has begun

The wind changes direction, changing the direction of the forests

Then ice will cover the deserted river

Where are you in Russia?

- I am not jealous of other people.

My family is not blessed enough to be like this.

Who dreams of fulfillment and fullness

Three miserable fate, waiting for the day to meet you

- Suddenly in the white drizzle

Someone's voice calling, or the words of the years

Miles back, the path is far away

Winter afternoon tired of walking alone

- How many days is a year?

Twenty years of sleepless nights

Tears fall many times

In the middle of the lonely night

I wish you peace

Dream of reunion

I'll wait for you forever

On this earth for life

My child, the night is so long

The sky and the earth are so vast

Only night reveals

Father's love for you...

Yes, it could not be otherwise, those were the poems he wrote about his daughter, the daughter who for more than twenty years has been the biggest and most unending obsession of his life, and as critic Van Gia said, “the father-daughter love in Nguyen Huy Hoang is truly painful and great!”. And that was also the way he “held on to the poems to stand up”. To wait for his daughter.

“I tried my best, traveled everywhere, begged everywhere, accepted a difficult life, endured so many bitter things that pen and paper could not describe. When everything was no longer in my hands, I could only leave it to fate and hang my compassionate heart on the nail of hope…” – 20 years of life were condensed into one sentence, so it also contained so much weight.

And that “nail of hope” is also a well-known story, the reason that has kept the poor poet in Russia (Listening to the soul of the wandering wind/Loosening his hair with dew in a foreign land) for so many years, along with a website searching for children in 9 languages. Because it is related to a famous name: Baba Vanga, the blind Bulgarian prophet, who predicted World War II, the Kursk nuclear submarine disaster in Russia and the 9/11 event in the US... Through the help of a good friend (a Bulgarian female colleague who taught with Nguyen Huy Hoang at Lomonosov University, close to Ms. Vanga's assistant), the father who lost his child had a rare opportunity to meet the prophet (it is said that this opportunity is usually only reserved for heads of state). But then life once again played a cruel joke on Nguyen Huy Hoang because of a very silly administrative error by the staff of the Bulgarian embassy in Russia: the visa was missing the required stamp.

However, the precious opportunity that slipped away did not discourage the resilient father and his good friend. With another attempt to connect, they were fortunate to receive the next opportunity from the prophet: Send her the sugar cubes that the father had infused with his energy. And when the three sugar cubes heated by the father's burning love reached the prophet's hands and continued to receive another source of energy from her, the "prophecy" continued to hammer "the nail of hope" into Hoang's life: "I cannot tell you how you will find your daughter, but she is still alive. And you and your wife will meet her again in Russia...".

Yes, I believe it! It's just that, unfortunately, more than 20 years have passed like a "ball through the window", since that "bitter summer", and almost 20 years since the day the "nail of hope" was hung up by the prophet and became the weary wait not only of Hoang but also of the entire Vietnamese community in Russia as well as anyone who knew his story. Fate has indeed played the most cruel joke possible on a good person and the saying "good people are rewarded". But behind that cold and cruel appearance, there is still a face full of tears that also radiates faith and hope that is so strong and resilient - surely a "spiritual specialty" of a "Nghe scholar":

"The way of the house is to live a virtuous life

The wind and mist will stop, the sorrow will pass

Then the bad luck fades away

Where there is luck, there is fate, the child is far away and then returns…”

Nguyen Le

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* Name of a play by Nguyen Quang Lap.