Phan Thuy Ha: Blood and tears are not for gifts

(Baonghean) - Near December 22, “Don’t Tell My Name” by a girl from Nghe An - Phan Thuy Ha appeared as a “phenomenon”. The book is about the fate of soldiers who have experienced the brutal war and the pain and memories they keep haunting them forever.

Don't call me a writer

Once, when interviewing Ha for an article, I called her a writer, she reacted strongly. “Don’t call me writer Phan Thuy Ha. I’m not a writer.” Although Ha has many works published in central newspapers, she is planning to publish a book about real people and real events in her hometown. Importantly, Ha’s writing has style – something that many writers today do not have.

Phan Thuy Ha gives books to characters.

Phan Thuy Ha used to be a long-time editor at the Women's Publishing House. Suddenly, she quit her job to stay home to take care of her children and write for newspapers. During her children's summer days, she was determined not to let smartphones and extra-curricular programs "steal" them. The three of them traveled by train from the North to the Central region, all the way to the South, and back to the Central Highlands, for months on end. Traveling so that the mother could have more material for her writings, and so that the children could learn communication and sharing skills... from real people, real events, real lives. Once, I joked with her, "My family is well-off." She laughed: "What are the conditions? I go to the homes of my fellow countrymen and acquaintances, listen to their stories, stay at their homes, send them money for meals... Determined to "go into the field" to have material for my writings."

Ha always admits that she is just a listener and a rewriter of the story. The character herself is the storyteller. She shared that at first, it was also difficult to ask, because she was not familiar with them, many of the villagers did not want to talk. But when one villager told the story, and when she got to know the whole village, one person called the other to tell the story. After telling the story, she did not know when it would end, the memories continued, but after telling the story, she sometimes hesitated, "Don't tell my name." That is also the name of Ha's first book, carrying the general spirit of the book's content.

Ha herself is the daughter of a soldier, she sympathizes with the war stories from her father's story, the stories of her villagers. Just one commune in Ha's hometown has more than 100 martyrs, every family has children, siblings who are martyrs, and also people who joined the army. The people Ha met are all valuable sources of information that she determined "I need to write, my children need to know". When the stories Ha wrote reached the hands of veterans, they said that their stories were even more haunting and were willing to share their feelings with her. I think that is the fate and talent of the author, when finding rare documents, when her characters wholeheartedly share.

Use money from home renovation to write a book

Ha said that the journey to bring books to readers was not easy at first. She went to a bookstore and asked if she could send some books there. If they didn't sell them after a year, she would take them back. They asked what the topic was. After listening, she almost refused. No one knew the author's name. The topic was also boring.

The book "Don't tell my name" by Phan Thuy Ha.

Before that, when Ha sent the manuscript to a bookstore. The answer made her tremble. "Poor writing style, poor quality, unattractive, we cannot cooperate". Sitting blankly in front of the computer. Her husband said, "You're funny, why give it to them, leave it to me."

Ha said, I sat there not because I felt sorry for myself. But I felt sorry for myself. I understood why my uncles and aunts did not bother to tell their stories. Blood and tears are not things to give as gifts to stories.

The field trips of Ha and her mother were sponsored by her husband. Even the longest trip to meet dozens of characters in Ha's book "Don't Tell My Name" was funded by money from... home repair. Her husband gave her 100 million to repair the house, but she thought that repairing the house was not as necessary as finding veterans. She was so concerned about the book that she had sleepless nights, worrying because: "The stories that are probably the best of the war, are not this victory or that victory, but the feelings of those involved, the endless endurance and sacrifice of the unknown soldiers. If there is no more opportunity to tell, they will gradually pass away, all of them are over 70, 80 years old, there are wonderful stories that will follow them into the ground and remain silent forever."

Blood and Tears is not a story for gifts

Ha's works are completely non-fiction but are more attractive than many works full of imagination. Because, as poet Thuc Linh said: “Life is more terrible than anything imagined. In Ha's work, he writes about soldiers with impressive stories: The soldier carried on his back the rotting corpses of his comrades after a week of not being able to withdraw from the battlefield, the corpses that were torn apart by birds, dragged the corpses through the bullets, sometimes with their heads and limbs separated, that soldier still had a disease on his skin, like a mental illness every time he remembered the flesh of his comrades melting on his body. The soldier told about how he hoped the enemy would attack because then he could find food in the enemy's military backpack, the discouragement, the plans to leave the front, the betrayals... right when the war was at its most ferocious. Those soldiers even had to struggle to regain their presence in that war, to be able to enjoy some "regime" or sometimes to clarify the truth about their fallen comrades".

Ha shares about her characters: “Why do they keep such a fierce story to themselves?

Because they are men. Because they are soldiers. Or, because they are Vietnamese?

Because no one asked. Because we have shown ourselves unworthy to be heard?

- What was your dream then?

- My dream at that time was to go home to have a meal with my mother and sister and then go back to the battlefield to die.

The characters in Ha's books are completely real, with completely real stories that seem to have been forgotten by the dust of the past. But then, when told to Ha, and she tells them to the readers, those truths are expressed with all the heart and pain, coming back to haunt the readers.

Instead of choosing topics that are close to her generation so that they can be printed and sold easily, Phan Thuy Ha chose to write about war and post-war when the war ended 4 years before she was born. Ha's books awakened readers' interest and humanistic values ​​about soldiers. After reading her books, readers contributed 800,000 VND each month to donate to a character to share the burden of making a living. Some readers spent money to buy books and asked Ha to give them to any veteran she met...

And Ha, still simple and determined like the Nghe girl's inherent nature, said she still has many stories to tell, besides this book.

Vo Huong