Preventing domestic violence - Awareness of those involved is needed

Shocking incidents

Most recently, social networks were shaken when a clip of a wife being abused by her husband at 2am was posted on social networks (occurred in Ha Huy Tap ward, Vinh city). In the clip, the husband continuously threatened his wife with a knife, the wife knelt down and begged but was not spared, continuously shouting "kill". After a few minutes of being threatened, cursed and attacked by her husband, the wife had no way to escape and jumped to the ground from the second floor balcony. Afterwards, she was taken to the provincial hospital for emergency treatment at 3am with a diagnosis of multiple injuries, and severe trauma to the spine,...

The incident was later recounted by the victim herself: The husband had long been in the habit of abusing his wife, and that day while she was sleeping, the husband "woke up" and interrogated her. Not satisfied with his wife's answers, he rushed forward, punched and kicked her, and attacked her with a knife. It is worth mentioning that this was not the first time a story of wife abuse had occurred in this house, but similar incidents had occurred many times, and the wife had to live in constant fear.

Until now, there has been no final conclusion from the authorities, but it shows that this is an extremely dangerous case of domestic violence, directly affecting the lives of the people involved. It is worth mentioning that before that, whether they wanted to or not, the people involved had never taken any action to intervene, or proactively prevented the violence and assault of their husbands against them.

Another incident also caused indignation among neighbors and residents in the small hamlet of Quynh Luong, Quynh Luu district. Anyone who heard the story of Ms. HTL in hamlet 2, Quynh Luong commune, Quynh Luu district would feel sorry for her extreme suffering. Ms. L. was a student of the Biology department of Vinh University, graduating with a good degree. Ms. L. dreamed of a happy home with her lover while still in school. However, no one learned the word "unexpected". One incident after another happened to her family.

Of Ms. L's three sons, only the second son is normal, the other two have autism, the eldest son is now 19 years old but has to be kept in a corner of the house for fear that he will cause trouble and cannot control himself. Thinking that his wife is useless, her husband changed his mind, despised her, openly had an affair and attacked and abused her. Having a blood clotting disease, the beatings against her became even more terrible. The climax was when her husband beat her until her spleen was crushed in the middle of the night, blood filled her abdomen, she fainted but no one knew... There were beatings that Ms. L did not know why she argued, what discomfort she caused, as long as he was unhappy about work or some relationship, he would come home to quarrel with his wife and children and the beatings would continuously rain down on her head.

Ms. L. has now been helped by many social organizations, many emergency relief addresses have opened their arms, her life after many years of darkness now has a little light. Now she is not beaten by her husband because she has had the help of many people around her, her husband knows that beating someone is a violation of the law and can be prosecuted at any time. However, to say that she can completely escape from the violence is impossible.

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“I consider that husband a stranger, I only live for my children to have a father, but if I communicate with him, he will curse and insult me.”

Ms. Nguyen Thi L, Quynh Luong commune, Quynh Luu

Physical pain can heal, but mental pain will be an unending obsession. Many victims of long-term abuse can suffer from psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders, depression, etc. However, many of them do not understand that verbal attacks, cursing, and insults are a form of abuse that is more terrible, persistent, and leaves more unpredictable consequences than physical abuse. Many people even seek death to free themselves.

Recognizing abuse

In a community consultation of Hagar International in Vietnam on domestic violence prevention, many assistants of this organization interviewed situations that had been silent in suffering for many years because of the violence and abuse of their husbands/wives. According to psychological experts of this organization, victims of domestic violence in recent years are not only wives, but also husbands.

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“There are men who are scolded by their wives for not earning money to the point that they are afraid to go home, afraid to face their wives, and over time they suffer from depression and self-hatred. There are also men who, because of a mistake in the past, are tormented by their wives for many years, making it impossible for them to live in peace, and their married life becomes hell.”

Coordinator of Hagar International in Vietnam

Abused men often do not confide in anyone, they are like abused women who often cannot free themselves because of the burden of children and self-esteem. In reality, many men who were victims of abuse became abusers of their wives after a long time of suffering and hiding.

Mr. Le Xuan Dong, former coordinator of the Gender-Based Violence Prevention Project, Hagar International in Vietnam, once said: In reality, many programs to promote gender equality and prevent domestic violence rarely have the opportunity for men to participate. Vietnam currently does not have any national program on gender violence specifically for men. Therefore, many social organizations are eager to create opportunities for men to receive support through participating in clubs, where they have a safe space to share stories about past traumas or often witness violence from family members; or are victims of violence in the past.

According to psychologists, to solve the root cause of domestic violence, it is necessary to make everyone in society aware that gender equality is the story of both men and women and to implement gender equality. It is necessary to create spaces and opportunities for men to participate and create gender equality. Once gender equality or prevention of gender violence becomes a common story and a common goal, it will be easier to identify and prevent violence.

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On February 24, 2025, the Provincial People's Committee issued Plan 114, affirming: To effectively implement the work of preventing and combating domestic violence, all levels, sectors and localities need to continue to organize the implementation of policies and laws on family work, gender equality in the family; prevent and combat domestic violence, educate on ethics and lifestyle in Vietnamese families; create a change in awareness, promote the responsibility of leadership, direction and management of Party committees, authorities and the participation of all classes of people; improve the capacity of cadres doing family work at all levels, effectively and efficiently implement the provisions of the law on family. Provide guidance on including the content of preventing and combating domestic violence in village covenants and community conventions; Monitor, inspect and compile statistics, report on the results of implementing the Law on Prevention and Combating Domestic Violence...