Preventing domestic violence - Awareness of those involved is needed

Shocking incidents

Most recently, social networks were shocked when a clip of a wife being abused by her husband at 2am was posted on social networks (occurred in Ha Huy Tap ward, Vinh city). In the clip, the husband continuously threatened his wife with a knife, the wife knelt down and begged but was not spared, continuously shouting "kill". After a few minutes of being threatened, cursed and attacked by her husband, the wife had no way to escape and jumped to the ground from the second floor balcony. After that, she was taken to the provincial hospital for emergency treatment at 3am with a diagnosis of multiple injuries, and severe injuries to the spine,...

The incident was later recounted by the victim herself: The husband had long been in the habit of abusing his wife, and that day while she was sleeping, the husband "woke up" and interrogated her. Unsatisfied with his wife's answers, he rushed forward, punched and kicked her, and attacked her with a knife. It is worth mentioning that this was not the first time that a story of wife abuse had occurred in this house, but similar incidents had occurred many times, and the wife had to live in constant fear.

Until now, there has been no final conclusion from the authorities, but it shows that this is an extremely dangerous case of domestic violence, directly affecting the lives of the people involved. It is worth mentioning that before that, whether they wanted to or not, the people involved had never taken any action to intervene, or proactively prevented their husband's violence and assault against them.

Another incident also caused indignation among neighbors and residents in the small hamlet of Quynh Luong, Quynh Luu district. Anyone who heard the story of Ms. HTL in hamlet 2, Quynh Luong commune, Quynh Luu district would feel sorry for her extreme suffering. Ms. L. was a student of the Biology department of Vinh University, graduating with a good degree. Ms. L. dreamed of a happy home with her lover when she was still in school. However, no one could have predicted that. One incident after another would happen to her family.

Of Ms. L.'s three sons, only the second son is normal, the other two have autism. The eldest son is now 19 years old but has to be kept in a corner of the house for fear that he will cause trouble and cannot control himself. Thinking that his wife is useless, her husband changed his mind, despised her, openly had an affair and attacked and abused her. Having a blood clotting disorder, the beatings against her became even more terrible. The climax was when her husband beat her until her spleen was crushed in the middle of the night, blood filled her abdomen, she fainted but no one knew... There were beatings that Ms. L. did not know why she had argued or what discomfort she had caused. As long as he was unhappy about work or some relationship, he would come home and cause trouble with his wife and children, and the beatings would continuously rain down on her.

Ms. L. has now been helped by many social organizations, many emergency relief addresses have opened their arms, her life after many years of darkness now has a little light. Now she is not beaten by her husband because she has the help of many people around her, her husband knows that beating someone is a violation of the law and can be prosecuted at any time. However, it is impossible to say that she can completely escape the violence.

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“I consider that husband a stranger, I just live for my children to have a father, but if I communicate with him, he will curse and insult me.”

Ms. Nguyen Thi L, Quynh Luong commune, Quynh Luu

Physical pain can heal, but mental pain will be an unending obsession. Many victims of long-term abuse can suffer from psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders, depression, etc. However, many of them do not understand that verbal attacks, scolding, and insults are a form of abuse that is more terrible, persistent, and leaves more unpredictable consequences than physical abuse. Many people even seek death to free themselves.

Identifying abuse

In a public consultation by Hagar International in Vietnam on domestic violence prevention, many of the organization’s assistants interviewed those who had been silently suffering for years because of their husbands’/wives’ abuse and violence. According to the organization’s psychologists, the victims of domestic violence in recent years have not only been wives, but also husbands.

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“There are men who are scolded by their wives for not making money to the point that they are afraid to go home, afraid to face their wives, and gradually they suffer from depression and self-loathing. There are also men who, because of a mistake in the past, are tormented by their wives for many years, making it impossible for them to live in peace, and their married life becomes hell.”

Coordinator of Hagar International in Vietnam

Abused men often do not confide in anyone, just like abused women often cannot free themselves because of the burden of children and self-esteem. In reality, many men who were victims of abuse become abusers of their wives after a long time of suffering and hiding.

Mr. Le Xuan Dong, former coordinator of the Gender-Based Violence Prevention Project, Hagar International in Vietnam, once said: In reality, many programs to promote gender equality and prevent domestic violence rarely have the opportunity for men to participate. Vietnam currently does not have any national program on gender-based violence specifically for men. Therefore, many social organizations are eager to create opportunities for men to receive support through participating in clubs, where they have a safe space to share stories about past traumas or often witness violence from family members; or are victims of violence in the past.

According to psychologists, to solve the root cause of domestic violence, it is necessary to make everyone in society aware that gender equality is the story of both men and women and to implement gender equality. It is necessary to create spaces and opportunities for men to participate and create gender equality. Once gender equality or prevention of gender violence becomes a common story and a common goal, it will be easier to identify and prevent violence.

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On February 24, 2025, the Provincial People's Committee issued Plan 114 affirming: To effectively implement the work of preventing and combating domestic violence, all levels, sectors and localities need to continue to organize the implementation of policies and laws on family work, gender equality in the family; prevent and combat domestic violence, educate on ethics and lifestyle in Vietnamese families; create a change in awareness, promote the responsibility of leadership, direction and management of Party committees, authorities and the participation of all classes of people; improve the capacity of cadres working in family work at all levels, effectively and efficiently implement the provisions of the law on family. Provide guidance on including the content of preventing and combating domestic violence in village conventions and community conventions; Monitor, inspect and compile statistics, report on the results of implementing the Law on Prevention and Combating Domestic Violence...