Strange custom: The groom receives money from the bride's family at the wedding ceremony.

Strange Southwestern groom at his own wedding

As the year comes to an end, many villages in Con Cuong district are bustling with the joyful atmosphere of many weddings. In recent years, weddings in this Thai area have changed a lot, especially when young people who work far away marry people from other localities. However, some ancient customs are still maintained by the people. This creates a lot of excitement for people from other localities.

Groom Vo Thanh Nam with his new wife. Photo: Huu Vi

Recently, Mr. Vo Thanh Nam traveled more than 1,000 km from Tra Vinh province to the mountainous region of Nghe An to pick up his bride. His wife is Ms. Luong Thi Duyen from To village, Yen Khe commune (Con Cuong). Mr. Nam met his wife when she started working as a worker at a company in Binh Duong province. The young couple quickly fell in love with each other, despite many differences in their living conditions and customs. The wedding day was also the first time Mr. Nam set foot in his wife's hometown and experienced a wedding custom that, according to him, was very strange and interesting.

During the two days in Yen Khe, Nam had to introduce himself to his ancestors by bowing before the altar. Before that, in the Thai wedding custom, Nam was also required to prepare a shirt and place it on the altar so that the family ghosts could recognize the groom. According to the local people's concept, only when the groom's shirt is placed on the altar will the ancestors recognize him as the son-in-law of the family.

The groom's family gathered in front of the bride's house to hold the ceremony to ask for the bride. The leader of the procession beat the gong loudly, creating a joyful atmosphere for the ceremony. Photo: Huu Vi

The bride's family "gives money" to the groom right at the wedding.

That was not the most interesting thing that the groom from the Southwestern region witnessed in his own 2-day wedding. On the first day, the bride’s family prepared a feast to invite relatives near and far. In front of the door, there was also a money box like other weddings for everyone to “celebrate the new groom”. But that was not the only place where the groom received gifts.

After the family meal, the “elders” of the maternal side performed a ceremony for the groom to bow and receive gifts. Relatives near and far were called to sit together. The groom was given a bottle of wine and cups placed on a small plate. Nam was instructed to pour wine for each person, thereby knowing how to address and his position towards each person in the family.

Groom Vo Thanh Nam performs the betel offering tradition with the elders in the bride's family. Photo: Huu Vi

After pouring wine comes the offering of betel. As with pouring wine, the groom must kneel down to offer the person in front of him to show respect.

After these procedures, the groom sits next to the bride and observes the bride's "gift giving" ceremony. An "elder" leading the ceremony will receive money from each person and read out the name of the gift giver and the amount received. After receiving the gift from the last person, the master of ceremonies will count the money and announce it to everyone, then hand it all over to the groom. According to the wedding customs, this is a gift from the bride's family and the groom has the right to decide what to use the money for.

This custom has long been present in Thai weddings. For many generations, the form of the groom's ceremony has remained almost unchanged. It takes place at the bride's house and usually before the groom takes the bride to his home.

According to the wedding customs of the Thai people in Con Cuong district, the groom's family will also "return the favor" by "celebrating the bride". Of course, this ceremony takes place when the bride has arrived at her husband's house. In the official wedding on the second day, the groom's family will organize a "celebrating the bride". In this ceremony, the bride also performs the same rituals as the groom did.

In the past, when wedding halls, wedding music and heart-shaped money boxes had not appeared, the bride and groom welcoming ceremony was quite common in Thai weddings in Con Cuong district. Nowadays, to make the wedding more concise, many villages and clans have abandoned this custom. People attending the wedding only congratulate once in one place, which is the money box. The custom of welcoming the bride and groom is only maintained in Thai villages in Yen Khe commune.